Hope is a Dangerous Thing for a Woman Like Me to Have - But I Have It [Sylvia]

[Jiggy 1,024]

Having recently woken up to the narcissistic abuse of my parents, this song really resonates with me. 
 
I may be reaching since this is obviously a hugely personal song but my interpretation is that Lana is subtly discussing the impact of her narcissistic mother's emotional abuse and subsequent abusive relationships.
 
 
'Cause hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have
Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman with my past

Narcissists (people with NPD, psychopathy, sociopathy) live in a false, ego driven reality for their entire lives. They are unable to show empathy and sabotage their children's success in life in any way possible in order to maintain control and feed their ego.

 

It is pretty much impossible to treat people with these disorders.

 

Lana's finally broken free and realises that having any hope that she could help her mother change her ways and love her unconditionally would be a dangerous thing as it would lead to more trauma and abuse. 

Spilling my guts with the Bowery bums
Is the only love I've ever known

Victims of Narcissistic abuse often end up becoming extremely empathetic with a habit of codependency in future relationships in which they spill all their guts into a relationship without any reciprocation.

As a result of being controlled by a narcissistic mother, Lana's relationships are effected she is often drawn to men who are emotionally abusive since her mothers conditional love was the only love she's ever known.

Servin' up God in a burnt coffee pot for the Triad

​Narcissists are not connected with god since they view life through the lens of their own ego, rather than the higher self, which is connected to the collective life consciousness i.e. GOD.

As a victim, Lana's energy and high vibration has always been taken from her and served to the 'triad'. 
In psychology, the dark triad is a group of three personality traits - Narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy.

Calling from beyond the grave, I just wanna say, "Hi, Dad"
 
Lana is mourning the relationship with her father that was stunted by her mother's actions. And shading her mother to filth.
 
A modern day woman with a weak constitution, 'cause I've got
Monsters still under my bed that I could never fight off
 
​Referring to the lack of self confidence caused by the issues from childhood that she struggled to overcome.

Shaking my ass is the only thing that's
Got this black narcissist off my back
She couldn't care less, and I never cared more
So there's no more to say about that
 
She's realised that breaking contact with her mother is the best resolution, and acknowledging that she is finally healing. 
 
Her relationship with her mother has always seemed sketchy compared to the public support Rob always shows.
 
She's also shaded her mom in previous lyrics 
 
Pretty much all the lyrics from 'My Momma" on sirens 
 
And in old money 
 
"My father's love was always strong, my mother's glamour lives on and on"
 
Her father showed her unconditional love, but her mother was only concerned with keeping up with her grandiose fantasises.

[LanaFlowers 8,751]

@@Jiggy CHANGE THE RED TEXT INTO A DIFFERENT COLOR ASAP! Red is for admins only!!

(not being a bitch just don't want you to get a warning!)

[ivy 1,693]

Having recently woken up to the narcissistic abuse of my parents, this song really resonates with me. 

 

I may be reaching since this is obviously a hugely personal song but my interpretation is that Lana is subtly discussing the impact of her narcissistic mother's emotional abuse and subsequent abusive relationships.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that, but thank you for sharing your perspective! Though it's difficult to make such a bold claim, I think it's very convincing.

 

If she really is referring to her mother in the line "she couldn't care less and I never cared more", that would paint such a sad and vulnerable picture. It also makes me wonder whether she has experienced psychological trauma as a child (and if that trauma has anything to do with her alcohol problems in the past). Who knows. 

 

On the other hand, I'm not sure if she would actually share such deeply personal things as she has mostly written about different kinds of troubles (heartbreak, fame, etc.). It would be such a different or deeper layer or something. Like, there is personal and there is personal, if you know what I mean? Idk

[American Whore 47,346]

Having recently woken up to the narcissistic abuse of my parents, this song really resonates with me.

 

I may be reaching since this is obviously a hugely personal song but my interpretation is that Lana is subtly discussing the impact of her narcissistic mother's emotional abuse and subsequent abusive relationships.

 

'Cause hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have

Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman with my pastNarcissists (people with NPD, psychopathy, sociopathy) live in a false, ego driven reality for their entire lives. They are unable to show empathy and sabotage their children's success in life in any way possible in order to maintain control and feed their ego.

 

It is pretty much impossible to treat people with these disorders.

 

Lana's finally broken free and realises that having any hope that she could help her mother change her ways and love her unconditionally would be a dangerous thing as it would lead to more trauma and abuse. Spilling my guts with the Bowery bums

Is the only love I've ever knownVictims of Narcissistic abuse often end up becoming extremely empathetic with a habit of codependency in future relationships in which they spill all their guts into a relationship without any reciprocation.As a result of being controlled by a narcissistic mother, Lana's relationships are effected she is often drawn to men who are emotionally abusive since her mothers conditional love was the only love she's ever known.Servin' up God in a burnt coffee pot for the Triad​Narcissists are not connected with god since they view life through the lens of their own ego, rather than the higher self, which is connected to the collective life consciousness i.e. GOD.As a victim, Lana's energy and high vibration has always been taken from her and served to the 'triad'.

In psychology, the dark triad is a group of three personality traits - Narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy.Calling from beyond the grave, I just wanna say, "Hi, Dad"

Lana is mourning the relationship with her father that was stunted by her mother's actions. And shading her mother to filth. A modern day woman with a weak constitution, 'cause I've got

Monsters still under my bed that I could never fight off

​Referring to the lack of self confidence caused by the issues from childhood that she struggled to overcome.Shaking my ass is the only thing that's

Got this black narcissist off my back

She couldn't care less, and I never cared more

So there's no more to say about that

She's realised that breaking contact with her mother is the best resolution, and acknowledging that she is finally healing.

 

Her relationship with her mother has always seemed sketchy compared to the public support Rob always shows.

 

She's also shaded her mom in previous lyrics

Pretty much all the lyrics from 'My Momma" on sirens

And in old money

"My father's love was always strong, my mother's glamour lives on and on"

Her father showed her unconditional love, but her mother was only concerned with keeping up with her grandiose fantasises.

Have we ever know her to have issues with her mom? I never took the Old Money lyric negatively. I thought it was more of a reflection of what her parents left her with, so she’s building herself off of that. Her father’s strong love and her mother’s glamor. I’d have to read the lyrics to remember what My Momma was about but I don’t think the black narcissist lyric is about her mom at all, I think it’s almost like her speaking in 3rd person about herself?

 

As in “She never cared less, and I’ve never cared more” kind of like the theory that Swan Song was between Lana & Lizzy, “I will never sing again, and you won’t work another day”

 

It being about her mom seems too random to me honestly. I could be wrong and I guess we all have our interpretations (and you have ur own reasons, everyone can have their own attachment to a song I guess. I love this track bc of the personal-ness)

[takeitdoen 10,615]

Outro of our mystery male speaker (Jack?)

 

Cause I had you in – in my head.

Are you real?
Are you real?
Yeah?

Is there any chance that I’m just gonna to wake up on the floor and the song won’t exist?

I’ll be very sad.

If I wake up, and you don’t exist, and the song doesn’t exist.

Yeah.

I hope you’re real.

[Elle 113,564]

Oh my god, this song is SEVERELY underrated. It makes me so upset to see all the dislike for it, because I think it's one of her most brilliant tracks to date. The songwriting is some of her best, and so is the melody. It's such a raw and vulnerable track, and the simple piano really brings that out. It's almost like a desperate plea, where things have gotten so bad to a point she's begging for any sign of hope. I've been there. I'm there right now. This song is so personal, I feel almost as if it's her most personal, and I'm so happy she shared it with us. I don’t understand why there's so much general dislike for it (honestly I think it's a placebo effect because of the single cover and the long title ngl) This song contains some of her strongest lyrics in my opinion, and contains the overall best lyrics from NFR tied with The Greatest. It's a masterpiece to me.

 

Here are some of my favourite lines:

Writing in blood on my walls 'cause the ink in my pen don't work in my notepad

Don't ask if I'm happy, you know that I'm not, but at best I can say I'm not sad

I've been tearing up town in my fucking nightgown like a goddamn near sociopath

Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have, hope is a dangerous thing for a woman with my past

A modern day woman with a weak constitution 'cause I've got monsters still under my bed that I could never fight off

A gatekeeper carelessly dropping the keys on my nights off

[love deluxe 8,494]

hope is one of my fav lana songs lyrically. plays out like a poem.

[Beautiful Loser 45,689]

Outro of our mystery male speaker (Jack?)

 

 

Cause I had you in – in my head.

Are you real?

Are you real?

Yeah?

Is there any chance that I’m just gonna to wake up on the floor and the song won’t exist?

I’ll be very sad.

If I wake up, and you don’t exist, and the song doesn’t exist.

Yeah.

I hope you’re real.

I was just gonna post what I could hear from my vinyl but yeah, it was the exact same thing as this. :3

[evilentity 13,303]

*Fucked My Way Up To The Top plays in the background* jk sis 

You mentioned this song in a different context, but I'm surprised there hasn't been much discussion in this thread about how the first verse seems to me a clear callback to FMWUTTT and her resentment that other pop girls haven't been subjected to as much scrutiny as she has (she's not wrong).

 

I was reading Slim Arons and I got to thinking that I thought

Maybe I’d get less stressed

If I was tested less like all of these other debuntates

Smiling for miles in pink dresses

And high heels on white yachts

But I’m not, baby, I’m not that.

 

 

Outro of our mystery male speaker (Jack?)

 

Cause I had you in – in my head.

Are you real?

Are you real?

Yeah?

Is there any chance that I’m just gonna to wake up on the floor and the song won’t exist?

I’ll be very sad.

If I wake up, and you don’t exist, and the song doesn’t exist.

Yeah.

I hope you’re real.

 

I was just gonna post what I could hear from my vinyl but yeah, it was the exact same thing as this. :3

Is this only on vinyl? (Still waiting for my CD to come.)

[Beautiful Loser 45,689]

You mentioned this song in a different context, but I'm surprised there hasn't been much discussion in this thread about how the first verse seems to me a clear callback to FMWUTTT and her resentment that other pop girls haven't been subjected to as much scrutiny as she has (she's not wrong). Is this only on vinyl? (Still waiting for my CD to come.)

CD too.

[Creyk 11,495]

She talked about the song's meaning in the Q magazine interview:
 

It’s during the filling in of these long phrases that Del Rey determines the song’s meaning. Hope Is A Dangerous Thing… was easy to determine. It’s about the toxic

masculinity that she’d seen displayed on her journey through musical showbusiness, and her response to it.

 

“I think it’s dangerous for a woman who is too kind, I really do,” she says. “That’s what it’s about. Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman who is told to bend to whatever

comes along because it’s the right thing to do. So it’s less dangerous if you never gave a fuck, but if you care it’s dangerous on seven different levels.” She stops. “Do you agree?” Kindness is not normally a trait that bad men respect. “I always say to my male friends that good guys don’t know anything about the bad side of truly bad men.”

 

[AnarKissed 278]

During a recent interview with the Washington Post, L.D.R. made a curious remark regarding her song Hope. Here is that portion of the article: "Some of her most intimate and enigmatic phrases swirl alongside one another during “Hope Is a Dangerous Thing,” including the lyric, “Serving up God in a burnt coffee pot for the triad.” Would she explain what the triad is? “I will not,” she says, smiling and shrugging. “I’m not going to tell everybody everything. . . . There’s so much to be treasured [in a song], just keep to yourself so that nobody can trash it.”" I too have been wondering about her use of the term "triad". Some Members in the above thread have suggested that it refers to the Holy Trinity. Jiggy says that it could refer to the Dark Triad of psychology. These interpretations are interesting and may have validity. When I first heard the lyric I thought it could refer to three individuals, perhaps close family and/or friends whom L.D.R. has had as guests in her home. Then I wondered if she could be referring to one of the infamous Triads which are said to be a loose conglomeration of Organized Crime syndicates. But, seeing as she is now involved with a lawman, this last hypothesis may be the most spurious of my conjectures. I can't help but be reminded of a certain scene in David Lynch's modern-noir film Mulholland Drive in which he hints at the influence of Organize Crime in the movie business...but that's neither here nor there...

[Creyk 11,495]

Sylvia Plath was an American poet who is known for advancing confessional poetry. Plath suffered depression her entire life and committed suicide from carbon monoxide poisoning from a gas oven when she was 30. So Lana, with this song, is writing confessional poetry and describing what Plath must have felt 24/7; some sort of continuous despair. The bittersweet irony is that Lana has hope. Dangerous for a woman who suffers despair daily to have hope to keep going because that would continue the despair that she wishes to end? Maybe.

[WildMustang 14,725]

Such a beautiful track

[mkultraviolence 5,829]

I had fifteen-year dances
Church basement romances, yeah, I've cried
Spilling my guts with the Bowery Bums
Is the only love I've ever known
Except for the stage, which I also call home, when I'm not
Servin' up God in a burnt coffee pot for the Triad
Hello, it's the most famous woman you know on the iPad
Calling from beyond the grave, I just wanna say, "Hi, Dad"

 

my interpretation of this verse is that she struggled with her sobriety on and off again for fifteen years. she was sometimes sober and then she relapsed, many times probably. NA/AA is sometimes held in church basements and i completely think that line is about being in that circle and talking and crying with them. spilling my guts with the bowery bums will forever remind me of someone puking at a toilet from a hangover or drugs. she's only ever felt loved when she's with what she feels like is her own kind: alcoholics. despite what she may look like compared to what other people with addiction look like, she still feels that they share something inside of them that truly only people with addiction will ever understand. the stage is pretty self-explanatory. i think the triad is just a group of her three "usuals" that she hangs out with or that always came by the cafe that she worked at, ya know how everyone has their lil friend groups. most famous woman you know on the ipad, calling from beyond the grave i just wanna say hi dad feels like her facetiming her dad and him picking up on his ipad and obviously her being the famous woman. fame changes people and makes people lose touch with their family members and even if you keep a close relationship, there are still things that change. she's calling, putting down the lana del rey paparazzi smile for a sec, and calling her dad as Lizzy, as not a famous singer, but as his daughter. 

[June Gloom 1,787]

honestly the phrasing "calling from beyond the grave" always struck me as particularly pointed.  i can't quite discern the meaning but i've always wondered- could it be that she's talking about how fame has killed her (figuratively, like the "real" lana), and that the persona only remains?  or perhaps even that the "real" her died with the addiction and that the version of herself that's left is merely just a celebrity with no real person underneath?  this line fascinates me so much i wanna know the intended meaning so bad

 

oh and this is still one of her best songs.  so much vivid imagery packed into something so sparce and yet so emotive.  top 5 lana songs ever

[paradisetropico 7,375]

serving up God in a burnt coffee pot for the triad 

 

I think the "triad" is Chuck (Scorpio), Charlie (Pisces), and Lana (Cancer) 

 

her and her siblings are quite close now, and they are all water elements... she said she would never say who the triad is, but this is my speculation... 

[daphnedinkley 12,391]

Call me crazy but I kinda took "the Triad" to mean, like, the organised crime group.... maybe not the actual Triad haha though she could mean that but also kinda gang members/organised crime members/drug dealers/high-ranking criminals in general. I took it as a reference to her waitressing (at Ruby Tuesdays   ) and serving up (evidently quite crappy and burnt) coffee to these guys on her shift, probably late at night, kinda contemplating the weird differences between their lifestyle/work life and hers.

 

Perhaps this is informed by personal experience - I'm a hotel receptionist and can confirm we have plenty of drug dealers and high ranking criminals staying with us at any given time lol so I'm always serving them coffee, helping them out, etc. It's a strange thing to witness in a way - me with my crappy minimum wage job, serving this guy who can't even pay his takeout delivery guy with anything smaller than a £50 note..... I guess that's where my interpretation comes from.

[Elle 113,564]

So apparently Hope is a Dangerous Thing is starting to go viral on TikTok.. the line "don't ask if I'm happy, you know that I'm not" is being used as a meme in these videos. 

Honestly, I don't mind it since the song is a masterpiece and is sooo underrated among Lana fans, so it's nice to see it getting the attention it deserves! But RIP that this free promo is happening right before TikTok is about to shut down x

[FredRed 4,485]

So apparently Hope is a Dangerous Thing is starting to go viral on TikTok.. the line "don't ask if I'm happy, you know that I'm not" is being used as a meme in these videos. 

Honestly, I don't mind it since the song is a masterpiece and is sooo underrated among Lana fans, so it's nice to see it getting the attention it deserves! But RIP that this free promo is happening right before TikTok is about to shut down x

I don't have that on my phone and won't but if you have the ability to post some here that would be nice. (without compromising this site) Maybe there are some YouTube posts with them. Thanks