Patent Leather Do-Over

[Elle 103,011]

Sylvia - 

I knew what you meant when you talked about swimming in the ocean and leaving your patent leather black shoes pointed towards it while you swam
It tickled you to leave them there
It was the thought of a young child or of a lost fairy
It reminded me of who I am

That's why I'm now at this facility by the ocean
& why I go barefoot and why I go calmly
Why I leave my shoes up by the stairway
I do it for you, and I do it for me
Because having learned from others and from you,
I learned there was a missing piece to finding existential calmness and domestic bliss to lead to peace

 

You see, you cant fall in love with a man like Ted or a musician who sings about being free
A woodworker doesn't a good man make if he wants his work to be on TV
You have to separate the wheat from the chaff
You have to be discerning
It takes diligence, consequence, and other things to keep that sea from churning
& to keep yourself from longing to let those painted waves take you under
It isn't just the water black that makes the body plunder from high sea cliffs
I know, my dear, I wish that I had been here or there
I wish that you were here now if you're not now because who knows how these things work?

 

Sylvia, Marilyn, Violet, Diana

All of my kind women who came before me, blonde
I dyed my hair black for you
I turned my back on that black pond
I swear I wont stop 'til I'm dead
& here I am at 34, and what for?

 

To bring my pair of baby patent leather shoes to turn them the other way
Towards the sea cliff stairs, not at the ocean
To bring them back up safe to the facility instead
& I think of you as I walk to the 280 wooden steps dynamited into the cliffs 100 years before
I let myself into room 2 and got undressed

 

I was sunburnt
Contemplative and sore
& as I fell asleep by Gabapentin
I lay my head on the pillow
& stretched my hand out on the cool white linen and sang you a lemon melody
I kept the shoes on the sill by the window seat in case you got restless and wanted to leave
& I hugged you with my baby's breath and sang your spirit to bed
The way I would have if you were my child or if I had children
My Queen Anne's lace heart weightless on your little head

 

 

 

[Gone user 5,363]

Her voice is so calming and I love to hear it after everything that has happened

[Doll Harlow 12,301]

[godsmonster 13,489]

the fact she mentioned she's at a facility intrigues me

[maxthehitman 1,720]

One cannot deny her talented writing skills  

 

A singer, a poet, an actress, a musician, a woman for all seasons !

[American Whore 43,655]

Ffs this woman can write. Absolute masterpiece 

[DCooper 32,003]

I really feel like this is a masterpiece, and also such a perfect thing to post right now as she was digging herself into a hole. How could a person not re-approach her comments after hearing something like this. Very beautiful work.

[yourbluebaby 71]

Does anyone know who Violet is supposed to be?

[lil aerosol 2,293]

Does anyone know who Violet is supposed to be?

 the pornstar she named 'violet bent backwards over the kitchen bench' after

[wthebluemascara 766]

& as I fell asleep by Gabapentin

 

 

 

Wait, isn't Gabapentin a medication for illnesses like epilepsy? I'm confused

 

Anyways I love this so much, I think an album with this type of instrumental would be amazing

[annedauphine 33,907]

I actually really like this one. It's not cringy like my love making is my legacy. It's beautiful. I also love the way she reads it. I've always loved her speaking voice more than her singing voice

[Rorman Nockwell 51,192]

Wait, isn't Gabapentin a medication for illnesses like epilepsy? I'm confused

 

Anyways I love this so much, I think an album with this type of instrumental would be amazing

It can be used off-label to treat anxiety, as well.

 

Does anyone know who Violet is supposed to be?

Not sure ... I looked up some famous Violets, and there are quite a few who were silent movie actresses, etc, but none that died young or tragically as the other three did.

[NamiraWilhelm 5,002]

Wait, isn't Gabapentin a medication for illnesses like epilepsy? I'm confused

 

Anyways I love this so much, I think an album with this type of instrumental would be amazing

Yup antiseizure and neuropathic pain, my cat gets it :B

Sooooo she went to some sort of rehab during show cancellation to recover ?

[Flowerbomb 65,499]

Yup antiseizure and neuropathic pain, my cat gets it :B

Sooooo she went to some sort of rehab during show cancellation to recover ?

 

"Facility" "Room 2" 

 

intriguing.... 

 

---

 

I really love this poem, and I think I like it more because she spoke it so when I read it, I imagine her voice.

[mkultraviolence 5,815]

maybe she was in a facility, but i thought she was probably talking about it because Sylvia was institutionalized

"Facility" "Room 2" 

 

intriguing.... 

 

---

 

I really love this poem, and I think I like it more because she spoke it so when I read it, I imagine her voice.

 

yo i love your signature

[bluefiona 8,038]

[gasstationkween 5,359]

Is she gonna go full concept album with this, like the institution or the facility being a metaphor for Hollywood. Maybe the speculation about the nfr cover being a reference to one flew over the cuckoos nest is true. Or am I reaching lols

[Flowerbomb 65,499]

maybe she was in a facility, but i thought she was probably talking about it because Sylvia was institutionalized

 

yo i love your signature

 

thank you

[WilshireBoulevard 5,418]

I hate melon head but something he kept mentioning in his NFR review was how she was very nurturing and caring in it, like in MAC and California. I think you can see this idea really well here. It's such a careful, heartbreaking, hopeful poem. Love that for her.

[J.R.OMEGA 2,185]

Just reading the poem is bloody genius, but hearing Lana's calm, soothing voice is like some ASMR shit realness. I can't wait for this book to drop and the spoken word album too