Barrie and Lana through their songs

[kitschesque]

As some of you may know I'm deeply into Lanalysis mess, therefore I make links to Barrie James O'Neill on numerous occasions and tend do believe he was a milestone in Lana's love life etc.

 

Quick disclaimer: No, I don't know these people personally and yes, I quite frankly am aware of only 0.01% of what there is to know what about happened between Lana and Barrie through the years. I'm only making my own theories/headcanons/call it what you want. Yes, I know it's fucked up to make assumptions about strangers, but Lana is an artist and incorporates her past experiences in her content, so that gives me some sense of allowance as to what I'm about to say.
 

I've been holding off with my deductions for quite a bit now, but since MAC was released I decided to finally give it a try and share a dozen of my messed up thinking with a broader audience. You've been warned.
Shoutout to good sis @@Yennefer for that late night talk that has brought this whole thing together.

 

Here's the Sun and Moon theory (that's dramatic lol)
Here's why I think Lana and Barrie are talking to each other through songs.
 
 
Black Beauty
 
It's said to be co-written by Barrie, and even though he isn't properly credited, there is some evidence pointing out his involvement, that being his "This Is"... Spotify playlist.
 
 
 
Black Beauty is the first proper metaphor to them being the sun and the moon, day and night and light and darkness. Given that they probably wrote it together they're both aware of that mutual nickname.

 

I paint the sky black
You said if you could have your way
You’d make it nighttime all today
So it'd suit the mood with your soul

 

&

 

Oh, what can I do?
Life is beautiful, but you don’t have a clue
Sun and ocean blue
Their magnificence, it don't make sense to you

 
^ There's a heavy vibe of Lana giving in to the darkness to live with her boyfriend bonded in depression and letting go of her true nature, i.e. the light that she represents. She also points out that there's no way she could make him change and he has to stay in his shell the way he is now, because there's no cure for this mess. And at the time she was cool with that.
 
They broke up shortly after UV's release, so it's a stretch to say UV songs are Barrie songs. I always assume it's a collection of past relationships and some kind of exaggeration from her. I also wouldn't say HM are Barrie songs, because she stated it's a standalone project and it feels like made up stories (given the message behind Burnt Norton about alternate realities/things that don't happen happening etc. and the fact that the album cover is her peeking through the bus instead of being present, assuming she's talking about what she's seeing in glamorous Hollywood, i.e. other people, not herself to be precise).
 
 
Angel Tears (Barrie)
 
Barrie released his LP, Cold Coffee, in 2016, and although there's been some delays on the album it's clear that some songs were written that Lana was aware of, and some were not. Even if she wasn't aware of Angels Tears (which may have been written post breakup) she stated in BBC interview before MAC release that she had some kind of writer's block and she may have been revisiting her boyfriend's music given the fact that she isn't romantically involved at the moment and that's what most her songs are about and/or is her brand. And she indeed was listening to an ex boyfriend music at the time she may have written MAC (started working with Jack in December 2017, we'll get to MAC later) AND at the time of LA To The Moon Tour (it could've been about G, but it was a short fling, so I'm going for my Barrie guess):
 
(gifs from @arianagrandre on Tumblr, doesn't have a LB account)
 
Anyway, back to the lyrics of Angel Tears, let's not jump ahead:

 

Angel tears
she cries them when she sees my fears
colliding into the sun
she's so crazy
she followed me
across the river
and to the sea

 
&

 

now I fall
behind
floating through all the skies at night
I'm on my boat to the moon
oh the moon
What can I do
You're everything to me
everything
I can't quite tell you
enough
again
I'm going through it now back again
It's easy but it depends

 
^ Another portion of sun/moon references. Isn't it weird that she wrote Heroin as an early track for LFL and used the moon reference and then incorporated it in the golden LFL trio (Heroin, Change, Get Free)? We'll get to the trio soon.
Anyway, check the full song, it's damn beautiful and gives an insight as to what Lana is when it comes to romance.
 
 
Heroin
 
Heroin was one of the earliest songs she wrote for LFL. Let's start slow.

 

Life rocked me like Mötley
Grabbed me by the ribbons in my hair
Life rocked me ultra-softly
Like the heavy metal that you wear

 
^ Barrie wears leather. Duh. That indicates he's the second person in the song and is one throughout the song.

 

I'm flyin' to the moon again, dreamin' about heroin
How it gave you everything and took your life away

 

^ Again, the moon reference. The moon here might be representing her revisiting her past demons that correspond to Barrie's demons. She reflects on her mistakes and earlier life to finally say her last goodbyes to it before leaving the darkness for good. She also hints that he's heavily involved on her road to health and full recovery and there's no going forward without revisiting the Barrie issue that's blocking her way.
 
As to heroin itself - we established earlier that it may be about Rob (died in 2011) just like Yayo & he indeed was a heavy user. We really don't know if Barrie was using anything, so it may be a stretch, I'm aware of that. BUT if he indeed was using, the "took your life away" lyric may not indicate death, but rather the life in a fucked-up-his-life type of thing.

 

I put you on an aeroplane, destined for a foreign land
I hoped that you'd come back again
And tell me everything's okay

 
^ The aeroplane may indicate an actual aeroplane (they were living together and with Chuck in LA) and Barrie going back to the UK post breakup. She expresses her wishes of Barrie recovering and becoming his better self and then getting back with her.

 

(It's fucking hot, hot) Winter in the city
Somethin' 'bout this weather made these kids go crazy
(It's hot) Even for February
Somethin' 'bout this sun has made these kids get scary
Oh, writin' in blood on my walls and shit
Like, ah, oh my God
Jumpin' off from the walls into the docks and shit
Oh, ho ho ho, I'd be lyin' if I said I wasn't sick of it

 
^ It may sound crazy, so don't come for me, but Lana being the sun might actually be driving the kids - us - crazy. Let's not forget the jaguars being stolen, trespassing, stealing her books etc. Plus LA is generally a sunny freaking place so it suits the theme of Lana longing for the light in that metaphor AND everything being a bit crazy when there's no balance, i.e. the moon, night, darkness, cool, chill, etc. Being by herself and repeating her mistakes without him by his side is driving her insane.

 

I'm flyin' to the moon again, dreamin' about marzipan
Taking all my medicine to take my thoughts away
I'm getting on that aeroplane, leavin' my old man again
I hope that I come back one day
To tell you that I really changed, baby

 
^ She finally makes the decision to escape her intrusive thoughts about a fucked up ex, chills down and realizes it's her that might actually be the problem. It may be her actions that failed in this situation. She's reflecting on it and contemplating... You guessed it lol, Change!
 
 
Change
 
Change is generally about becoming your better self and starting to care deeper about a lot of things, but what shines through the most is becoming all of these things to be better for that special person you love.

 

Maybe by the time Summer's done
I'll be able to be honest, capable
Of holdin' you in my arms without lettin' you fall
When I don't feel beautiful or stable

 
^ She wants to change especially for the people around her that need her support, maybe including Barrie and his demons.

 
Get Free
 
Again, the whole song is about finding clarity. Just go read the damn thing and think about it as a manifest of change and several aspects that come with it, like realizing happiness isn't permanent (the rainbow verse), that she has to fully become the light to help the ones that need it and move away from her personal despair.

 

Undoubtedly
That will for certain
Take the dead out of the sea
And the darkness from the arts

 

^ A future Mariners Apartment Complex reference, may it be? Darkness from her own arts has been taken out in MAC after all.

 

Finally
Gone is the burden
Of the Crowley way of being
That comes from energies combined
Like my part was I
Was not discernin'
And you, as we found out
Were not in your right mind

 
^ Occult books were found in her house, it may be that it was Barrie's influence on her view of spirituality, but it's just a wild guess. PLUS it's the first time she uses the second person in the song, so it's the only time she's referring to someone else above herself in the process of change. She refuses to dive into occult things any longer and chooser pure, simple love.
 
 
Thunder (Barrie)
 

 
 
Both her message and the BBC interview make it clear that she wants the audience to know she's moved on from "sadness" and the story starts with a conversation with an ex that clearly misunderstands her. She also indicates that the message behind the "the board, the lightning, the thunder" is that she's powerful/strong and can strike the light anytime she wants, including outgrowing her bf that might need her help. We'll get to MAC later.
 
I couldn't find Barrie's Thunder (Cold Coffee, 2016) lyrics, so I transcribed them, here they are in full (there's a crazy melody in the song, especially the second half after the instrumental switch, so it's hard to pinpoint exact words, but I tried my best. Numerous night references!:  https://pastebin.com/PDTGfnph
 
Anyway, here are the highlights:

 

Laugh from a distance
She drives me closer
Heavy ways I'll found you
If you really want me to

 
^ Check the distance/resistance verse in MAC and compare. Remember, Cold Coffee was released in 2016, so she might be responding to the lyrics above after the songs release.

 

Times getting older
Wild star lay under(?)
I love the way night moves
I love the way your mind moves

^ No explanation needed. Process this how you want, but mind the night reference.
 

And then the tempo/melody switch happens and here's when things get interesting:

 

 

Before I go to sleep
And kill the day
I wanna kiss your pain away
You are my girl
Only one in the world
And I promise you everything

And after this
Would you spare me a kiss?
I need to show you who I am
I wanna see you I wanna know you

I heard a whisper
Came from the night
Said I'm running out of time
You're so beautiful
So beautiful
You're so beautiful
I'm sorry
And then the light
Started falling down down the line
Down the line
And then the night
Lies a girl
She's waiting for me

 
^ So this part is probably a huge stretch, beware. It may be a dream sequence in this song, it really does sound like a phantasm visiting him in his sleep or right before he slips into it.
Barrie dreams of Lana. She's mumbling he's running out of time and it may relate to the conditions: she'd wait for him to get better and Barrie is afraid he's running out of time to change and that he'll lose her forever at one point. But then the vision continues and the light strikes representing hope and Lana herself and it seems like she'd wait for him a little bit longer to take his time and fully work on his problems.
 
Lana might have written Heroin with that picture in mind, the moon/darkness visiting symbolism. See Heroin analysis above again. And remember, she revisited her boyfriends music during the new album (MAC included) sessions. As written above - see Angel Tears analysis.

 
Mariners Apartment Complex
 
MAC sounds like a letter indicating that she finally has fully open arms for the person she once loved, meaning she no longer needs to give into the darkness, but instead can help them truly find their right place, i.e. the light in their life.
 
Highlights of the song:

 

I'm the board, the lightning, the thunder
Kind of girl who's gonna make you wonder
Who you are and who you've been

 
^ See the Insta message above. She can help him reflect on his past.

 

Maybe I could save you from your sins
So, kiss the sky and whisper to Jesus
My, my, my, you found this, you need this
Take a deep breath, baby, let me in

 
^ No explanation needed. Salvation elements that she might offer him.

 

Catch a wave and take in the sweetness
Think about it, the darkness, the deepness
All the things that make me who I am

 

^ Lana doesn't contradict herself. In fact, she "contains multitudes" (see her current Twitter bio). Her ability to navigate between the light and dark is infinite and it is no longer an issue. She's no longer blindly chasing happiness and realized both ups and downs of her life live in a symbiosis. She encourages him to realize the same. He doesn't have to give up the darkness (i.e. his true nature) to find the light.

 

And who I am is a big-time believer
That people can change, but you don't have to leave her

 

^ See Heroin & Thunder analysis above. He doesn't have to leave her; instead, he can change. And she's grown enough to realize that. She's changed now. 

And who I am is a big-time believer
That people can change, but you don't have to leave her

 

"'Cause even in the dark I feel your resistance
You can see my heart burning in the distance
Baby, baby, baby, I'm your man (yeah)"

 

^ See Thunder lyrics (Laugh from a distance / She drives me closer).
 
 
 
__________________________
 
Here's where my part ends.
 
I really do think that this isn't over yet and we can expect more songs coming our way regarding her relationship with Barrie.
Wouldn't be surprised if she reached her hand to him sometime soon, especially considering the weird "my boyfriend's back and he's cooler than ever" lyric in LFL the song, but God knows I'm stretching the fuck out of this. Thanks for not being to hard on me. If you are, that's fine too!
 
I know that not everybody has the time and wants to put an effort into reading all of this, but some feedback from people that indeed are genuinely interested in the topic would be amazing. You can also share other songs you think fit into this bigger picture.
 
I tried to post all the quotes in proper quotations for easy-read purposes, but it won't let me since there are so many of them. Instead, some quotations are grayed out. Sorry!
 
Thanks for reading!

[Barry]

 

Good thread, is there any of his lyrics you didn't get as im also from Glasgow and probably understand all the things he says.

 

I thought a lot of it made sense and is probably right, was he her longest relationship as well? almost 3 years I think from 2011-2014 so a lot of her songs are probably about him.

[kitschesque]

Good thread, is there any of his lyrics you didn't get as im also from Glasgow and probably understand all the things he says.

 

I thought a lot of it made sense and is probably right, was he her longest relationship as well? almost 3 years I think from 2011-2014 so a lot of her songs are probably about him.

 

I still have to transcribe the rest of the lyrics on Cold Coffee that aren't around, so I'll probably add more posts to this thread or edit the original one when that's done.

If I need any help I'll PM you! Thank you so much

[lernerderrey]

I really think The Blackest Day(and all of honeymoon) is about Barrie. 

Carry me home, got my blue nail polish on
It's my favorite color and my favorite tone of song
"I don't really wanna break up, we got it going on"
Is what you gathered from my talk, but you were wrong
 

[kitschesque]

I really think The Blackest Day(and all of honeymoon) is about Barrie. 

 

Carry me home, got my blue nail polish on

It's my favorite color and my favorite tone of song

"I don't really wanna break up, we got it going on"

Is what you gathered from my talk, but you were wrong

 

That would actually make sense considering his infamous TMZ talk!

Him repeating "it's not over, it's not over"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhnoFFbt4CQ

[lernerderrey]

That would actually make sense considering his infamous TMZ talk!

Him repeating "it's not over, it's not over"

 

 

i honestly can see her telling him "i wanna break up" and he wasn't fully listening and heard "i dont wanna break up" lel

 

i can even see salvatore being about dating fran and thinking about life with barrie...

[Barry]

That would actually make sense considering his infamous TMZ talk!

Him repeating "it's not over, it's not over"

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhnoFFbt4CQ

 

This is what he said in a Scottish newspaper about it

 

“For me, talking about it would make things not real between you and your partner.

“The reason why I’m speaking about it now is that it’s a been a long time since then.

“It all happened when I went to London, as Lana was meant to be staying for a few days.

“But she couldn’t stay as she had to do a big interview in America for her new album which was coming out.

“I was just chilling out in the hotel and out of the blue, I got a message from my cousin saying, ‘Sorry that you and the missus have broken up’.

“I was like, ‘That’s news to me — where did you hear that?’

“And it was on this website. I was thinking it was a load of s*** and gossip. But it wasn’t. That’s how I found out.

“Looking back, it probably wasn’t easy living with me — I’m an insomniac and have depression.

“I understand why she did it.”

 

“I had saved up a bit but I felt like a burden on Lana as she was having to take care of me.

“And I don’t like that, I like to provide for myself.

“I felt, as her partner, I had to protect her.

“When you go out with someone who has a bit of a profile, it’s hard to not let things affect you. She’d phone me upset about something that had been written about her — that happened a lot in the beginning.

“It’s a big difference comforting your girlfriend about her friend upsetting her, compared to the New York Times doing it.

“I tried to think about being a protective boyfriend and making sure she got on stage every night.”

 

“I must be the only person from Yoker ever to be on that(TMZ). They are obsessed with fame in the States.

“But I wanted to move there, as I felt there was no point in me going from Kassidy back to Yoker.

“So it made sense to explore new avenues. I felt it was time to put the big-boy pants on. It was time to see if we could live together. I made a plan not to pursue music right away. I wanted to clear my head and spend a bit of time with the missus.”

But in that London hotel room his dream was shattered.

 

“She couldn’t say it to my face. And my plan to go back with her was dead.

“I was sitting in that hotel thinking, what the f*** do I do now? But there’s no bad blood between us.”

 

“I got this s***hole apartment in Venice Beach. One room. We call it a bedsit, they call it a studio.

“I had some old songs that I’d written in Glasgow, I worked on some new ones and before I knew it, I had an album done.

“Now I need to find a home for it. It’s pretty dark, jazzy in parts and spacey in other parts.”

 

But is the album about Lana? Barrie said:

“I know people will think that.

“I’d say 50/50 because the type of songwriter I am, I usually write 50 per cent metaphor and 50 per cent of my thoughts. So yes, she’s in the album, she was a huge part of my life.”

 

One memorable moment was when Barrie — who released his previous solo work as Nightmare Boy — found himself at the Cannes Film Festival.

It was for the movie The Great Gatsby, for which Lana recorded the official song Young And Beautiful.

Barrie recalled: “She asked me to go to a party and I said, ‘Hell no,’ as I didn’t think I would fit in — but in the end I went. It was this big mansion up in the hills.

“It only clicked it when we were driving there that it was Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich’s place.

“Tobey Maguire and Leonardo DiCaprio were there too.

“The big thing for me was standing 15ft away from Martin Scorsese — I just saw his big caterpillar eyebrows.

“I told Lana to go up and get a photo with him. It was a bit mind-blowing.”

 

“I can’t escape that link to her, and I’m fine with that.

“The majority of my fanbase is her fans. There’s nothing wrong with that. She’s a brilliant singer.

“We had done a bunch of songs together that no one’s ever heard.”

 

“We seldom talk now, but in general it’s OK.

“There’s no point in having bad vibes. I had a great time with her.

“And you never know, it might happen again.”

 

I think Barrie has an alcohol problem as well, I used to watch his periscope and follow him on Instagram and there was always Jack Daniels and coke everywhere all over his house and pretty much anywhere he was. In his Venice apartment he had a shelf with about 15 empty Jack Daniels bottles on it and you'd see him playing piano with Jack Daniels bottle on the piano and even when he makes videos in his house theres always coke and Jack Daniels bottles in his living room lol

[kitschesque]

This is what he said in a Scottish newspaper about it

 

“For me, talking about it would make things not real between you and your partner.

“The reason why I’m speaking about it now is that it’s a been a long time since then.

“It all happened when I went to London, as Lana was meant to be staying for a few days.

“But she couldn’t stay as she had to do a big interview in America for her new album which was coming out.

“I was just chilling out in the hotel and out of the blue, I got a message from my cousin saying, ‘Sorry that you and the missus have broken up’.

“I was like, ‘That’s news to me — where did you hear that?’

“And it was on this website. I was thinking it was a load of s*** and gossip. But it wasn’t. That’s how I found out.

“Looking back, it probably wasn’t easy living with me — I’m an insomniac and have depression.

“I understand why she did it.”

 

“I had saved up a bit but I felt like a burden on Lana as she was having to take care of me.

“And I don’t like that, I like to provide for myself.

“I felt, as her partner, I had to protect her.

“When you go out with someone who has a bit of a profile, it’s hard to not let things affect you. She’d phone me upset about something that had been written about her — that happened a lot in the beginning.

“It’s a big difference comforting your girlfriend about her friend upsetting her, compared to the New York Times doing it.

“I tried to think about being a protective boyfriend and making sure she got on stage every night.”

 

I remember translating this into Polish for our fanpage, but yet I forgot about it completely, thanks for bringing it up again!

[Limelight]

Good thread, is there any of his lyrics you didn't get as im also from Glasgow and probably understand all the things he says.

 

I thought a lot of it made sense and is probably right, was he her longest relationship as well? almost 3 years I think from 2011-2014 so a lot of her songs are probably about him.

Girl no need to quote the whole post

[Barry]

Girl no need to quote the whole post

 

[bored]

“I got this s***hole apartment in Venice Beach. One room. We call it a bedsit, they call it a studio.

 

My mind is blown ahaha. I loved the analysis of MAC and how that relates to Barrie. But this was interesting to me, Venice Bitch? And he has an apartment at Venice Beach. I think she was at her happiest and her worst when with him, so it's conflicting but I wouldn't be mad if they reconciled. 

[Veinsineon]

“I got this s***hole apartment in Venice Beach. One room. We call it a bedsit, they call it a studio.

 

 

Also I think Heroin is about her friend that overdosed at the beginning of 2010. She tweeted about it, but everything else makes SENSE! 

[Kerrigan]

 

Love this tune

[cherryblossoms]

I definitely think songs like Shades of Cool, Is This Happiness, Fine China, etc. was about Barrie as well (especially considering they were all written during the same month). It’s not a stretch to think that they hit some rough spots behind the scenes in 2013 (pre-UV) before they officially ended things. Fine China is most likely about their failed engagement and Is This Happiness/Shades of Cool seem like a reference to Barrie’s depression like Black Beauty.

 

Just some thoughts I had about some of the lines in those tracks:

 

“You’re a hard man to love and I’m a hard woman to keep track of.”

 

‘She couldn’t say it to my face. And my plan to go back with her was dead.’

- Barrie talking about how Lana left him in London and broke up with him shortly afterwards.

 

I remember someone asking Woodkid about why he hasn’t worked with Lana since BTD and he basically said she stopped responding to his texts/emails. Maybe she’s just the type of person to leave things at a standstill when she doesn’t know how to deal with it. She’s said before that she’s quite nomadic in nature, never in the same place all the time. This might explain why she labeled herself as someone hard to keep track of since she may not have been physically/emotionally available 24/7.

 

“You like to rage, don’t do that”

- Is This Happiness

 

According to the posts above, Barrie drank a lot so I don’t think it would be too far fetched to say that this line references him in his intoxicated state. I feel like the bit about alcohol in the demo version of Beautiful People might be referencing these episodes too.

 

Another interesting note between this bit from Barrie’s interview and the Beautiful People demo.

 

“When you go out with someone who has a bit of a profile, it’s hard to not let things affect you. She’d phone me upset about something that had been written about her — that happened a lot in the beginning.”

 

“You get so mad when I complain

You think I'm crazy but

I hear them talk they say my name

They're fucking tired of”

 

From newer songs,

Architecture is a given and maybe the final version of Beautiful People?

 

The color blue has become kind of synonymous with their relationship in my opinion.

“My baby lives in shades of blue”

“Darling you can’t let everything seem so dark blue”

“All of my fine china, blue”

 

So when I heard the ‘blue is the color of the shirt of the man I love’ and the following lines, I immediately thought of Barrie.

 

This is just pure speculation on my end and I feel kind of bad talking about it because it’s really none of my business but considering how much her personal life is tied into her music and how much we know, it’s inevitable.

[pawn shop blues]

I don't know what to think about any of this, but it wouldn't surprise me if a lot of songs were about Barrie. She's called him her soulmate in at least one or two interviews, if I'm not mistaken. She definitely hasn't referred to other boyfriends like that (specifically Francesco). They also bonded and were together during one of the most intense periods of her career, which can definitely strengthen feelings for someone. And if a relationship ended because they just weren't able to be in the same headspace but wanted to make it work, it could leave a lot of unresolved and conflicted feelings, making for a lot of future songs reflecting on that. 

Of course, it's also possible that she's dated since G-Eazy and we just don't know about it, but I have kind of gotten the impression that she's been holding off of dating and building/maintaining friendships with various people while also taking the time to search through the inner clarity she's trying to reach (which g-eazy seemed to interrupt, if you read between the lines in her interviews for LFL). 

[cherryblossoms]

 

 

Also I think Heroin is about her friend that overdosed at the beginning of 2010. She tweeted about it, but everything else makes SENSE!

It’s possible she could be referencing multiple people/things in one song. She does it in Architecture and some other tracks I’m sure.

I was reading the lyric annotations for Video Games on Spotify and it says this

 

“The verse was about the way things were with one person and the chorus was the way that I wish things had really been with another person, who I thought about for a long time.”

[kitschesque]

@@cherryblossoms love u for all these things, Is This Happiness is my all time favorite Lana song but I couldn't wrap my head around analyzing it as well as others mentioned by you, greatly appreciated!

[ultrababy]

Although The Blackest Day is definitely about Barrie, I remember Lana saying in a interview that most of the songs on Honeymoon were about Francesco

[paradisetropico]

this Is so fascinating ... I love it so so much, I could read this all day long...

I also think it would be so beautiful if they could grab coffee and work things out; but who knows.

Also, I wonder, do you guys think she is gonna take the "darkness, the deepness" from her art? 

I hope not. its a beautiful and remarkable part of what makes her music so relatable and honest and intimate 

I love the new sentiment of love and not being constantly in a dark mood; but I hope she realizes (her fans and critics mainly) realize that you can't have light without dark; nor dark without light. so I hope she still will create darker melodies... but just me I guess... lmao 

[kitschesque]

As I read this through again today I realized there are some English mistakes but keep in mind that I'm a non native speaker and things still slip sometimes Sorry!