Lana's boyfriend who was arrested thought

[Wilde_child 490]

What the fuck?

 

Priscilla emerged from the white marble spanish dungeons in the shortest skirt she could find in her closet, the denim material latching onto her bronzed legs like a second layer of skin. She raised one leg over the car door and planted it on the leather seats of Paulo's topless Lamborghini then slowly attempted to climb over the door.

Paulo liked to think of himself as a gentleman, but could not help but sneak a glance as the young maiden practically did the splits in his face. Oh, what a view, right then and there Paulo knew he wanted to keep this fine woman for himself until the end of time. They would buy a cat, together, call it Chalksey, oh Paulo loved cats, and he just knew she did too. Every night, as the cat would lick itself clean in it's basket as Priscilla fell asleep in Paulo's caramel shaded arms, dreaming of her future with him, he would drink milk out of his hands, as it dripped from his sleeping beauty, slurp it up and perform his experiment. It was an experiment he had always wanted to perform, but believed would only truly work when he was fully fulfilled, when he had accomplished all goals he sought after, namely his fair maiden Priscilla. He would slurp the milk, not moving his tongue, just letting it course down his throat like a clear stream, and see which experience, the quenched thirst, or the taste, was faster acting. Then, when he had found all he needed, when he was finally living in suitable contention, would he discover the outcome to this trivial test.

The next morning, as Priscilla's glistening teeth severed through dark brown toast and butter, sitting there, a casual beaut in her dark purple gown and stripy night frock, as Chalksey groomed himself in the discreet and charming way Paulo was accustomed to, Paulo would grin, look up at Priscilla, now also with a grin on her face, and say: "I drank your milk last night!"

And Priscilla would explode.
Explode into fits of uncontrollable laughter, leaning back on her chair and cackling like a creaky door slamming shut. She would bang her fist on the table in expression of her utter disbelief and amusement. The warm coffee would fall off the table and land on poor Chalksey, who would screech and run frantically from side to side, as though searching frantically for the happiness Paulo and Priscilla had found together, the both of them howling with laughter like wolves.

And here it was beginning, as Paulo cast his eyes upon the promised land. It was calm, everything in place and nothing moving. When suddenly, a small slit, just above the one Paulo had been paying most attention to, it opened, it seemed to stretch out like a forced polite smile at a dinner party. Out gushed the most grotesque noise, and for a brief second Paulo saw it, a long brown, snake shaped creature, pushing itself through the slit like a prisoner desperately attempting escape before his tomb was sealed. Then, as if all muscles had died at once, the slit came open and the small brown creature emerged gingerly, like a butterfly cautiously returning to the light of day after it's transformation. As it was for the most part out, it hung for a few second, hung like a brown tail from Priscilla's behind, which seemed unable to say it's goodbyes with the faeces, then drop it into the open world, or rather Paulo's leather car seats, then finally it did. It sat there, and Priscilla swiftly pulled her leg out of the car and tears welled up in her eyes as she saw the chunky lump of brown on her dashing escorts' car seat.

Paulo, immediately filled with regret and a sense that all hope for his future with the girl had gone, swiftly acted to undo this fate altering turn of events, bent down over the poo and ate it up.

This did not in anyway help the situation.
Priscilla, now standing in awe as her ever mutating shock lead her to the conclusion that Paulo had eaten her poo to embarrass her, ran off humiliated and furious. She hurried into her tomb and, in her state, forgot to be careful as she approached the temple stairs, tripping down them as children roll down hills. Unfortunately the poor girl did not land as safely as most children do when playing that game, and her neck was broken in the fall.

Paulo drove off in a daze.
"Well... There's 25 bucks I'll never see again"
He sighed, couching up chunks of poo as he did.

[LiamViljoen 908]

What the fuck?

[Guest Dot]

K was a romantic interest of Lana Del Rey. He is never given a full name, only being called K from the song "For K Part 2", although it's rumored that K stands for Kevin. He and Del Rey were romantically involved and in the beginning of their relationship they were both "clean and sober", however she adds: "It's a song about a man who thought I was one of the most exotic things he had ever seen and me indulging in his appreciation and love (line on the song Million Dollar Man). On the outside he was handsome and wholesome, but under wraps he was running an illegal electronic business which ended up taking him and his friends under."

 

http://lanadelrey.wikia.com/wiki/K

Oh, so that's why people on here keep calling me Kevin. Interesting...

OMG YESSSSSS!!! Love you for this!

[Wilde_child 490]

Leave me alone.

 

 

What the fuck?