When I look back, tracing fingertips over plastic bags
Thinking I wish I could extrapolate some small intention
Or maybe just get your attention for a minute or two?
Will I die?
Or will I get to that ten-year mark
Where I beat the extinction of telomeres?
And if I do, will you be there with me?
Father? Sister? Brother?
Charlie, stop smoking
Caroline, will you be with me?
Will the baby be all right?
Will I have one of mine?
Can I handle it?
Even if I do, they said that my mind
It's not fit, or so they said, to carry a child
I guess I’ll be fine
It wasn’t my idea, the cocktail of things that twist neurons inside
But without them, I’d die
They say there’s irony in the music, It’s a tragedy, I
See nothing Greek in it
Give me a mausoleum in Rhode Island with dad, grandma, grandpa, and Dave
Who hung himself real high
In the national park sky
It’s a shame, and I’m crying right now
I didn’t get to you, save you
If I take my life, find your astral body
Put it into my arms
Give you two seconds to cry
Take you home, I
I’ll give you a blanket
Your spirit can sit and watch TV by my side
‘Cause baby I
Went through a time when I felt you were doing it
I couldn’t handle it, I was in Monaco
I couldn’t hear what they said on the telephone
I had to sing for the prince in two hours
Sat in the shower
Gave myself two seconds to cry
It’s a shame that we die
When I was fifteen, naked
Next-door neighbors did a drive-by
Pulled me up by my waist, long hair to the beachside
I wanted to go out like you
Swim with the fishes that he caught on Rhode Island beaches
But, sometimes, it's just not your time, Caroline
What kind of ~~~ was she to say I’d end up in institutions?
All I wanted to do was kiss Aaron Greene and sit by
The lake, twisting lime into the drinks that they made
Have a babe at sixteen, the town I was wed in and die
Aaron ended up dead and not me
What the fuck’s wrong in your head
To send me away never to come back?
Exotic places and people don't take the place of being your child
I give myself two seconds to cry
Let it crash over me like the waves in the sea
Call me Aphrodite as they bow down to me
Sunbather, moon-chaser, queen of empathy
I give myself two seconds to breathe
And go back to being a serene queen
I just needed two seconds to be me
