my Monologue inspired by Lana

[ThisIsRusko 1,521]

The last years were some tough, self finding, but also exciting years for me, with alot of changes happening.

In this video i open up about the struggles i had, of having fear to do what you really wanna do, dreams being shattered, breaking up, quiting your job, finding a profession, not feeling good enough, depression, opening up to other people, working on your self and on the human being that you are!
and most of all, to stand up again.. and not to give up.

i wrote this monologue in a really emotional state, to free myself from all of the fear i had.

inspired by people like lana that shows me that being emtional is not a bad thing. and talking about bad stuff is not a bad thing

we all have been trough this. and we all have fear! but we can face those fears and work on it!
you are not alone!

It took so much streangh to overcome the fear of posting a new video.
but i remembered how much i loved it back then and how it made happy... but at one point, fear took over.

i don't wanna live like this anymore!
i hope i can reach some people and make them realize, that only fear stops us from being truly alive.
you can still do whatever your heart tells you to!

 

please take a look

[loleetah 4,084]

You have a beautiful speaking voice! This is really wonderful and so true. Good for you for being so honest, keep writing! 

[ThisIsRusko 1,521]

You have a beautiful speaking voice! This is really wonderful and so true. Good for you for being so honest, keep writing! 

you don't know how much this means to me that you just said that!. it's the first time a person i don't know comments on this! thank you!

[Beautiful Loser 48,645]

I've had a crappy day and this made me cry even more, ugh. I think that my problem is that it isn't others that tell me to not do things, it is actually that tiny voice in my head that says "don't". I fear that I'll fail, especially after working on something really hard. I've always tried to make others proud of me and I always try my best so that I won't disappoint myself or make life hard for me.

But I guess I've already made it harder because I have high demands on myself.

[ThisIsRusko 1,521]

I've had a crappy day and this made me cry even more, ugh. I think that my problem is that it isn't others that tell me to not do things, it is actually that tiny voice in my head that says "don't". I fear that I'll fail, especially after working on something really hard. I've always tried to make others proud of me and I always try my best so that I won't disappoint myself or make life hard for me.

But I guess I've already made it harder because I have high demands on myself.

 

i really believe that this ''tiny voice'' is not really your voice! it comes all from the past. stuff that someone told you... maybe you don't remember them... but no one grows up with a voice that tells them ''don't''

 

''I fear that I'll fail, especially after working on something really hard. I've always tried to make others proud of me and I always try my best so that I won't disappoint myself''

u seem to have alot of fire in you! that fear holds u back from doing a great thing! we all fail sometimes!! that's life!

[Beautiful Loser 48,645]

i really believe that this ''tiny voice'' is not really your voice! it comes all from the past. stuff that someone told you... maybe you don't remember them... but no one grows up with a voice that tells them ''don't''

 

''I fear that I'll fail, especially after working on something really hard. I've always tried to make others proud of me and I always try my best so that I won't disappoint myself''

u seem to have alot of fire in you! that fear holds u back from doing a great thing! we all fail sometimes!! that's life!

Thanks... ♥ I think I just went for the best option I had and I try to work with that. I don't know if it's right, but it's what I have at the moment and I don't know what I would do instead of studying biomedicine. It's what I really wanted a few years ago, and I still want to, but it's just so hard... =/

[ThisIsRusko 1,521]

Thanks... ♥ I think I just went for the best option I had and I try to work with that. I don't know if it's right, but it's what I have at the moment and I don't know what I would do instead of studying biomedicine. It's what I really wanted a few years ago, and I still want to, but it's just so hard... =/

we change...

if the pain takes over the plessure of what you're doing... then something isn't right anymore!

don't have fear <3

[Beautiful Loser 48,645]

we change...

if the pain takes over the plessure of what you're doing... then something isn't right anymore!

don't have fear <3

I'll strive to live like this, thank you so much! ♥