Mind Melt

YAAAASSSS MS ROSA KILL THAT BITCH

background & cutout made by LM -Lana Mar Del Rey

Clite: You gained fame very quickly. Your debut single “Fake Boobs” was an instant hit and people are already calling you “the female Lorde” and Velvet Vagina preorders are breaking records. Did you expect this when you first started making music?

TOSTB: I don’t really like to be compared to other artists. My work is 100% original… Lana Del Ray being my only inspiration. I swear. There are no influences from Lady Gaga or Iggy Azalea on my album. And Lorde is a goblin while I’m a supermodel. I don’t want to be compared to such a rat. And yes, I did expect outstanding sales. The album is flawless, after all.

Clite: Debbie Moore Lovato is really offended with your album title. She tweeted that you’re “glamourizing waxed vaginas”. How do you feel about that?

TOSTB: Clearly she doesn’t understand the concept. Just like when she got heated over Rihanna’s vomit performance at SXSW. I thought that was inspiring. Rihanna is so amazing… I saw the pictures of her in her dress with her tits showing… God, that was unusual. And a velvet vagina is not necessarily a waxed vagina. It’s just a vagina that belongs to a person who is better than you. That’s who I am, I have a velvet vagina.

I entered the hotel around noon. It took me nearly half an hour to find the meeting room but I eventually made it. I began to set up, and that’s when the manager came in. He told me TOSTB was on her way and that she would be here in about 5 minutes. Showing up almost an hour later than expected, TOSTB arrived in just a loose blue blouse and a white camisole.

Last time we met, it was in a strip club down in California. We went to the back and had a few beers, chatted it up and had a heart to heart. She was wearing nothing but a black leather bra, fishnets and some hooker pumps, a complete opposite from what she was wearing today. Nonetheless, she looked absolutely stunning. She greeted me with a hug and sat down on the couch across from me. Someone poured her tea, someone fixed her makeup- the usual. The whole time, she was talking to me, asking me about myself and how everything was going which was very surprising and actually quite refreshing.

Jack: It’s so nice to see you again. How have you been?

TOSTB: I’ve been good! Summer is fun, and I have so much time to work on my new album Velvet Vagina.

J: Good!  Everyone wants to hear it. I can’t wait. Can you give us any exclusive info on it?

T:  Well, it’s very innovative because it explores a lot of different genres. There’s pop, obviously, as you’ve heard on Fake Boobs, but there’s also a mix of hip-hop, jazz, maybe even disco and some gospel too.

J: What inspired you to create this album?

T: My fans. I’m making it for them!

J: Tell me about the inspiration behind the name “Velvet Vagina”.

T: Well, the album is mostly autobiographical. All of the songs are about me. And as I mention in the title track, “I’m fancy, pretty and rich, so I call my vagina velvet”. I also think velvet is such a nice material and it’s really fancy.

J: What about the creating process?

T: It’s different for every song, usually I make some beats first and then I write lyrics over them. But sometimes it’s the other way around. Like, sometimes I get a sudden vision for a melody without the lyrics. But I know I wanna use that melody. So I open Garageband and make a draft of it, then I write lyrics I have in mind and try to make them fit. Or like I said, other times, I get a vision for lyrics first. My muse comes to me at random times, it’s very fickle.

J: If I heard correctly, this is only the first part! Whats in store for part 2- or is it too early to tell?

T: It’s a bit too early to tell. I did plan on releasing a second act in the future, but for now I think that idea is on hold.

J: Rumor has it your record label was really controlling with this one and wouldn’t let you put some of the songs you wanted to onto it. You also said a lot of tracks were “cockfighting for spots”. Is this true and do you ever think we will hear those tracks that would have been on the second act?

T: That’s not true! I had a lot of power when it came to the lyrics and sounds. In fact, I think that the truest way for us to maintain the music industry is to put all of the power back into the hands of the artist. As for the choice of tracks, it’s true that there are a few that didn’t make the cut. I have those songs, I don’t know if I’ll put them out one day. Red Flame featuring Azealia Banks for example… I had to swap it for another song called Follow Me On Twitter. Azealia has a bad attitude.

J: I hope we can hear them one day! Speaking of twitter, you’ve gotten lots of followers on there pretty fast. They all love you and your music. How are you dealing with this fame all of the sudden?

T: Well, I’ve always been famous, it’s just no one knew it yet. I love myself so I’m glad other people do too. It did take me a while to get to 750 followers on Twitter though, which was annoying. That’s what my song [Follow Me On Twitter] is about. The struggle to obtain followers on Twitter. It’s kind of a sad song.

J: Last time we met, you were in a completely different outfit. How do you always change yourself and does it help you and your art?

T: I’m always reinventing myself, like when I started the TOSTB era. A completely new look. I love fashion too. I especially love feathers. Like in one song, I mention having feathers in my ass. Changing myself does help. I’m sure people get tired of seeing the same thing over and over. That’s also why I always style myself differently in my photoshoots! It really makes me feel free.

J: The question everyone wants to know… are they real?

T: My boobs? Fuck no. I’m proud to say they’re fake. That’s exactly what my song Fake Boobs is about! It’s about empowerment.

J: Tell me more about Fake Boobs. It’s such a great song. Why did you choose for it to be the lead single?

T: I think it represents the album well. The beats, the lyrics… The other songs revolve around it a lot thematically and lyrically. Also, I thought it’d be appealing to the general public, and it was. And it’s a bit more radio-friendly than the others.

J: I requested it at my friends wedding and they played it!

T: Amazing. That’s so great. I think it’s great for any occasion. Parties, at work, funerals, just at home chilling, weddings… I love it

J: Did you hear about what Mariah Carey said about your music? What’s your response?

T: I don’t care. My music is more original than hers. She was my inspiration for the name of my tour, so it was a little rude for her to say what she said. But whatever. My fake boobs are bigger than hers.

J: And your album art is so much better.

She blushed.

T: Thank you!

J:  How did you choose the producers for this record? I know you did some tracks on your own too!

T: I asked some friends to produce some. It would be boring to have an album fully produced by 1 person. I didn’t even think I’d produce any songs myself at first, but in the end my first production was the song 420, and I’m very proud of it. I think it’s fun because we all make such different types of songs.. Actually, hold on.

She reached in her pocket,  turned on her phone and scooted close to me.

T: ”These are all my songs, the ones on the album, and then the ones that didnt make the cut.”

She slowly scrolled through the songs, and two titles really caught my eye, ones that weren’t on the tracklist. Pretty Pink Pearl and Burger King Baby. I asked her if she could play it but she said that she didn’t want to because they were unfinished and she didn’t know what the future plans for the songs were. Understandable.

More important than that, though, is the fact that she played almost the whole album for me. She even brought in headphones because she wanted me to get the full effect. The ones I remembered the best were Nasty, Daddy Paid My Way, and the title track. Nasty was an urban track with pop influences. Miley Cyrus really delivered on that track too, bringing in some old school flair. “Slaying you all day like its a blood bath // Nasty nasty nasty sis.” While it was playing, she was yelling “I produced this one by myself!” and singing along.

Daddy Paid My Way seemed to be the most hard hitting and heartfelt from the album. It was more of an acoustic song, and it seemed like during the writing process, she just let everything she had come out with no filter. I didn’t have time to ask too many questions because we were being rushed by her manager, but I can assume that’s what happened. ”If you’re wondering about the fame I got, well Daddy Paid My Way Up To The Top”

And the title track.. Velvet Vagina (Pussy)… Definitely one of the album highlights. The song is a crazy club banger and it has a surprising yet addictive hook and breakdown. “Got diamonds on my wrist, your daddy’s hands on my hips. No man can love me like this. // Close your eyes and count to two. This wild pussy’s waiting for you.” This track is NOT for the faint of heart.

T: I really love this album, it means so much to me. I’ve been working on it for months with my closest friends. I know what I want, and no one can boss me around. It’s just myself and the Haus of TOSTB. The creation process is so organic and pure.

J: Message to all the fans. 

T: I love you all. Keep your heads up high above those fake tits and don’t be afraid to flash a bit. Be yourselves, be confident. My album is for you; it’s an empowerment party.

J: Message to all the haters.

T: Ya’ll ugly. Fuck the haters… I’m rich and they’re not. I’m laughing to the bank.

(YOUNG MONEY)

VERSE 1:

If being a bad bitch was a crime,

I’d be arrested,

Come at me hunty, if you can,

I’m fake breasted,

Cryin’ ‘cause your life’s so shit,

And I’ll attest it,

If you wanna get with me,

You’re gonna have to,

Wait for me to stop the sobs,

They’ll never end, ooh,

So get up outta my face,

And bye-bye, thank you,

PRE-CHORUS:

If you gon’ be lickin’ on my velvet vadge,

I already know you ain’t the perfect match,

The only one who satisfies my hungering,

Well bitch, you know that’s T-O-S-T-B,

CHORUS:

Cryin’ tears on your careers,

Yeah, it’s a sign,

'Cause I'm pretty when I cry,

And all the time,

Yeah, tears on your careers,

Now that’s a sign,

'Cause I'm pretty when I cry,

And all the time,

VERSE 2:

Stayin’ classy all the time,

Sike, I got a short temper,

You hatin’ on me baby?

Bitch, I’m your mother! 

Cryin’ ‘cause your life ain’t mine,

And mine is better,

If you wanna get with me,

You’re gonna have to,

Send me Roses, not the flower,

The Lana song, boo,

So get up outta my face,

Until you got boobs,

PRE-CHORUS:

If you gon’ be lickin’ on these silicone tits,

I already know you girl, you ain’t shit,

The only one who satisfies my hungering,

Well bitch, you know thats T-O-S-T-B,

CHORUS:

Cryin’ tears on your careers,

Yeah, it’s a sign,

'Cause I'm pretty when I cry,

And all the time,

Yeah, tears on your careers,

Now that’s a sign,

'Cause I'm pretty when I cry,

And all the time,

BRIDGE:

I’m pretty when I cry,

Won’t let these tears dim my shine,

I’m so hot, I ignite,

Like when I cry and all the time,

When you girls make me cry,

It doesn’t make me wanna die,

So take a picture make it last,

Because my beauty kicks your ass,

CHORUS:

Cryin’ tears on your careers,

Yeah, it’s a sign,

'Cause I'm pretty when I cry,

And all the time,

Yeah, tears on your careers,

Now that’s a sign,

'Cause I'm pretty when I cry,

And all the time,

Cryin’ tears on your careers,

Yeah, it’s a sign,

'Cause I'm pretty when I cry,

And all the time,

Yeah, tears on your careers,

Now that’s a sign,

'Cause I'm pretty when I cry,

And all the time,

OUTRO:

Ya’ll ugly.