I was seeing her pictures on tumblr & some fashion magazines in 2011. I loved her eyes, how she tends to pose looking upward at the camera with no smile. I read that she was a musician, but I didn't bother looking her up because I felt like I already knew what she would sound like. I was wrong. So that year, around july-august, I visited my cousin in San Diego. She was listening to nothing but BTD and my first reaction was: such a haunting voice, sounds like billy holiday, sounds like my friend, as well (https://soundcloud.com/anne-wilson). I loved hearing BTD and asked my cousin who she was listening to. So I learned about Lana Del Rey & Die Antwoord on that trip. BUT I forgot to look Lana up, or write her name down. So in the confusion of traveling, I forgot about her. I saw her more & more and bought BTD. I commenced stalking her on the inter web. I found like 50 unreleased songs and I loved them even more than BTD. I was endlessly intrigued and inspired. I became homeless in Oct. of 2011 and I really used music as my source of strength. By the time Ride came out, I was just barely getting my shit together. I was volunteering at a thrift shop in the daytime to have a place to stay indoors (and wifi). I hadn't thought much about Lana during my homeless months, I was usually pan handling or searching for work & shelter during the day. But I still remember that day Ride came out on youtube. I was folding clothes in the freezing back room of the thrift shop (no indoor heating), and I saw some FB announcement of Ride. So I watched it and I just remember feeling like someone was putting their hands on my shoulders and comforting me. Like every word and image was carefully chosen to give me a sense of courage & comfort. I started crying and feeling like all of Lana's vulnerability in that monologue resonated in me. I watched it all day till the shop closed and cried quite a bit. Crying really warms me up. I had been putting up a very strong front during my time on the streets, I saw the ugliness in people, but I also experienced the kindness of strangers. The instability of it all. It's painful to see the normalcy in everyday life, when you are struggling and grappling with survival. Most music at the time, seemed callous & indifferent to the suffering I felt on a daily basis. It all seemed to speak to the "it's the weekend, let's dance, it's so fun, light bubbly pop" crowd. So here was a song that just held me in it's arms and I knew then, that I was actually a non-apologetic fanatic. I felt electric. :D
