You know, i’ve thought before about how funny/weird/surreal/awkward/absurd it would be for all of us to be together in a room somewhere, like a huge ornate ballroom, and everyone is just standing around and we’re all looking at each other and we’re all hearing each others’ voices for the first time and realizing that no one sounds as you had imagined them sounding, one person, it turns out, is a she and not a he, someone else is way younger or older than you had assumed, someone is inevitably nothing like their online persona, and there are like five people you want to have sex with. I would definitely show up for the Halloween gig in my BDSM mask and every time i opened my mouth i’d ramble in ten minute blocks. Just imagine the scenario and all the stuff that would go down: Riley would be MCing the event with his reydio voice, evilentity would be handing out our English assignments, Madrigal would be going around yelling at us that our dates are all wrong, HDB would be going around liking everyone’s comments, SitarHero would finally get the chance to sport his Jimmy Gnecco shirt, showing it off like a drag queen, Lily would spearhead a mutiny, TPD would show us the contents of her big manilla envelope containing classified documents and photos related to Elizabeth W. Grant, PrettyBaby would act as the great arbiter and peacekeeper, Neal would deny that he’s FBI agent Dale Cooper, ednafrau would be begging the house band to do a Jeff Buckley cover, Hunter would be plugging his own music, Moy would be digging a bigger hole for himself after making poor analogies to try to prove that cultural appropriation is okay, Lemon Pie would just be sitting deliciously on a table, deathray would no doubt be crossing his arms, James Dean would be badgering us all for the Million Dollar Man video, Matt would tell us all how Carmen is the best song in existence and how his Biology homework sucks, European would unyieldingly protect his origins, Crystal Castles would be going on and on about Crystal Castles, Hellion would be late to the party and show up with Blanche sass, Luda would be asking everyone why they hate him, Baby V Alex would be brandishing large picket signs with pictures of nude gay men on them, Chloe would be telling us how leaks are wrong and how we should just listen to Ben Mawson while Ben would point out to her how many leaks have, in fact, come directly from him, all the while running away from an angry mob, the Auto-Tuned Loon would be an ASSHOLE shitting all over the place and making horrid sounds (that would cause HDB to swoon), and Maru would literally be flipping over every god damn table at this event while pontificating about the superiority of cats.
Oh wait, then PinupGirls would crash the party announcing how awesome black people are, frankee would be in the corner doing a painfully tragic dance to a Madonna song, futilely attempting to get everyone to watch, the bearded man from Blue Velvet would wow us all with his exquisite facial mane, Emile Haynie would try to add a Born To Die filter to the whole party, Calendar Girl would make her great return and enlighten us with tales of all the adventures she embarked on during her long absence, Ahmed would phone in from prison, and Lana Del Rey herself would tell us all to go fuck off. If i missed anyone, sorry ‘bout it.
It's always so funny to read this intelligent way of arguing that sometimes happens on LB
On other sites people just drag each other with curse words and shade wherever they can but here we get paragraphs like this
