As some of you may know I'm deeply into Lanalysis mess, therefore I make links to Barrie James O'Neill on numerous occasions and tend do believe he was a milestone in Lana's love life etc.
Quick disclaimer: No, I don't know these people personally and yes, I quite frankly am aware of only 0.01% of what there is to know what about happened between Lana and Barrie through the years. I'm only making my own theories/headcanons/call it what you want. Yes, I know it's fucked up to make assumptions about strangers, but Lana is an artist and incorporates her past experiences in her content, so that gives me some sense of allowance as to what I'm about to say.
I've been holding off with my deductions for quite a bit now, but since MAC was released I decided to finally give it a try and share a dozen of my messed up thinking with a broader audience. You've been warned. Shoutout to good sis @@Yennefer for that late night talk that has brought this whole thing together.
Here's the Sun and Moon theory (that's dramatic lol) Here's why I think Lana and Barrie are talking to each other through songs.
Black Beauty
It's said to be co-written by Barrie, and even though he isn't properly credited, there is some evidence pointing out his involvement, that being his "This Is"... Spotify playlist.
Black Beauty is the first proper metaphor to them being the sun and the moon, day and night and light and darkness. Given that they probably wrote it together they're both aware of that mutual nickname.
I paint the sky black You said if you could have your way You’d make it nighttime all today So it'd suit the mood with your soul
&
Oh, what can I do? Life is beautiful, but you don’t have a clue Sun and ocean blue Their magnificence, it don't make sense to you
^ There's a heavy vibe of Lana giving in to the darkness to live with her boyfriend bonded in depression and letting go of her true nature, i.e. the light that she represents. She also points out that there's no way she could make him change and he has to stay in his shell the way he is now, because there's no cure for this mess. And at the time she was cool with that.
They broke up shortly after UV's release, so it's a stretch to say UV songs are Barrie songs. I always assume it's a collection of past relationships and some kind of exaggeration from her. I also wouldn't say HM are Barrie songs, because she stated it's a standalone project and it feels like made up stories (given the message behind Burnt Norton about alternate realities/things that don't happen happening etc. and the fact that the album cover is her peeking through the bus instead of being present, assuming she's talking about what she's seeing in glamorous Hollywood, i.e. other people, not herself to be precise).
Angel Tears (Barrie)
Barrie released his LP, Cold Coffee, in 2016, and although there's been some delays on the album it's clear that some songs were written that Lana was aware of, and some were not. Even if she wasn't aware of Angels Tears (which may have been written post breakup) she stated in BBC interview before MAC release that she had some kind of writer's block and she may have been revisiting her boyfriend's music given the fact that she isn't romantically involved at the moment and that's what most her songs are about and/or is her brand. And she indeed was listening to an ex boyfriend music at the time she may have written MAC (started working with Jack in December 2017, we'll get to MAC later) AND at the time of LA To The Moon Tour (it could've been about G, but it was a short fling, so I'm going for my Barrie guess):
(gifs from @arianagrandre on Tumblr, doesn't have a LB account)
Anyway, back to the lyrics of Angel Tears, let's not jump ahead:
Angel tears she cries them when she sees my fears colliding into the sun she's so crazy she followed me across the river and to the sea
&
now I fall behind floating through all the skies at night I'm on my boat to the moon oh the moon What can I do You're everything to me everything I can't quite tell you enough again I'm going through it now back again It's easy but it depends
^ Another portion of sun/moon references. Isn't it weird that she wrote Heroin as an early track for LFL and used the moon reference and then incorporated it in the golden LFL trio (Heroin, Change, Get Free)? We'll get to the trio soon. Anyway, check the full song, it's damn beautiful and gives an insight as to what Lana is when it comes to romance.
Heroin
Heroin was one of the earliest songs she wrote for LFL. Let's start slow.
Life rocked me like Mötley Grabbed me by the ribbons in my hair Life rocked me ultra-softly Like the heavy metal that you wear
^ Barrie wears leather. Duh. That indicates he's the second person in the song and is one throughout the song.
I'm flyin' to the moon again, dreamin' about heroin How it gave you everything and took your life away
^ Again, the moon reference. The moon here might be representing her revisiting her past demons that correspond to Barrie's demons. She reflects on her mistakes and earlier life to finally say her last goodbyes to it before leaving the darkness for good. She also hints that he's heavily involved on her road to health and full recovery and there's no going forward without revisiting the Barrie issue that's blocking her way.
As to heroin itself - we established earlier that it may be about Rob (died in 2011) just like Yayo & he indeed was a heavy user. We really don't know if Barrie was using anything, so it may be a stretch, I'm aware of that. BUT if he indeed was using, the "took your life away" lyric may not indicate death, but rather the life in a fucked-up-his-life type of thing.
I put you on an aeroplane, destined for a foreign land I hoped that you'd come back again And tell me everything's okay
^ The aeroplane may indicate an actual aeroplane (they were living together and with Chuck in LA) and Barrie going back to the UK post breakup. She expresses her wishes of Barrie recovering and becoming his better self and then getting back with her.
(It's fucking hot, hot) Winter in the city Somethin' 'bout this weather made these kids go crazy (It's hot) Even for February Somethin' 'bout this sun has made these kids get scary Oh, writin' in blood on my walls and shit Like, ah, oh my God Jumpin' off from the walls into the docks and shit Oh, ho ho ho, I'd be lyin' if I said I wasn't sick of it
^ It may sound crazy, so don't come for me, but Lana being the sun might actually be driving the kids - us - crazy. Let's not forget the jaguars being stolen, trespassing, stealing her books etc. Plus LA is generally a sunny freaking place so it suits the theme of Lana longing for the light in that metaphor AND everything being a bit crazy when there's no balance, i.e. the moon, night, darkness, cool, chill, etc. Being by herself and repeating her mistakes without him by his side is driving her insane.
I'm flyin' to the moon again, dreamin' about marzipan Taking all my medicine to take my thoughts away I'm getting on that aeroplane, leavin' my old man again I hope that I come back one day To tell you that I really changed, baby
^ She finally makes the decision to escape her intrusive thoughts about a fucked up ex, chills down and realizes it's her that might actually be the problem. It may be her actions that failed in this situation. She's reflecting on it and contemplating... You guessed it lol, Change!
Change
Change is generally about becoming your better self and starting to care deeper about a lot of things, but what shines through the most is becoming all of these things to be better for that special person you love.
Maybe by the time Summer's done I'll be able to be honest, capable Of holdin' you in my arms without lettin' you fall When I don't feel beautiful or stable
^ She wants to change especially for the people around her that need her support, maybe including Barrie and his demons.
Get Free
Again, the whole song is about finding clarity. Just go read the damn thing and think about it as a manifest of change and several aspects that come with it, like realizing happiness isn't permanent (the rainbow verse), that she has to fully become the light to help the ones that need it and move away from her personal despair.
Undoubtedly That will for certain Take the dead out of the sea And the darkness from the arts
^ A future Mariners Apartment Complex reference, may it be? Darkness from her own arts has been taken out in MAC after all.
Finally Gone is the burden Of the Crowley way of being That comes from energies combined Like my part was I Was not discernin' And you, as we found out Were not in your right mind
^ Occult books were found in her house, it may be that it was Barrie's influence on her view of spirituality, but it's just a wild guess. PLUS it's the first time she uses the second person in the song, so it's the only time she's referring to someone else above herself in the process of change. She refuses to dive into occult things any longer and chooser pure, simple love.
Thunder (Barrie)
Both her message and the BBC interview make it clear that she wants the audience to know she's moved on from "sadness" and the story starts with a conversation with an ex that clearly misunderstands her. She also indicates that the message behind the "the board, the lightning, the thunder" is that she's powerful/strong and can strike the light anytime she wants, including outgrowing her bf that might need her help. We'll get to MAC later.
I couldn't find Barrie's Thunder (Cold Coffee, 2016) lyrics, so I transcribed them, here they are in full (there's a crazy melody in the song, especially the second half after the instrumental switch, so it's hard to pinpoint exact words, but I tried my best. Numerous night references!: https://pastebin.com/PDTGfnph
Anyway, here are the highlights:
Laugh from a distance She drives me closer Heavy ways I'll found you If you really want me to
^ Check the distance/resistance verse in MAC and compare. Remember, Cold Coffee was released in 2016, so she might be responding to the lyrics above after the songs release.
Times getting older Wild star lay under(?) I love the way night moves I love the way your mind moves
^ No explanation needed. Process this how you want, but mind the night reference.
And then the tempo/melody switch happens and here's when things get interesting:
Before I go to sleep And kill the day I wanna kiss your pain away You are my girl Only one in the world And I promise you everything
And after this Would you spare me a kiss? I need to show you who I am I wanna see you I wanna know you
I heard a whisper Came from the night Said I'm running out of time You're so beautiful So beautiful You're so beautiful I'm sorry And then the light Started falling down down the line Down the line And then the night Lies a girl She's waiting for me
^ So this part is probably a huge stretch, beware. It may be a dream sequence in this song, it really does sound like a phantasm visiting him in his sleep or right before he slips into it. Barrie dreams of Lana. She's mumbling he's running out of time and it may relate to the conditions: she'd wait for him to get better and Barrie is afraid he's running out of time to change and that he'll lose her forever at one point. But then the vision continues and the light strikes representing hope and Lana herself and it seems like she'd wait for him a little bit longer to take his time and fully work on his problems.
Lana might have written Heroin with that picture in mind, the moon/darkness visiting symbolism. See Heroin analysis above again. And remember, she revisited her boyfriends music during the new album (MAC included) sessions. As written above - see Angel Tears analysis.
Mariners Apartment Complex
MAC sounds like a letter indicating that she finally has fully open arms for the person she once loved, meaning she no longer needs to give into the darkness, but instead can help them truly find their right place, i.e. the light in their life.
Highlights of the song:
I'm the board, the lightning, the thunder Kind of girl who's gonna make you wonder Who you are and who you've been
^ See the Insta message above. She can help him reflect on his past.
Maybe I could save you from your sins So, kiss the sky and whisper to Jesus My, my, my, you found this, you need this Take a deep breath, baby, let me in
^ No explanation needed. Salvation elements that she might offer him.
Catch a wave and take in the sweetness Think about it, the darkness, the deepness All the things that make me who I am
^ Lana doesn't contradict herself. In fact, she "contains multitudes" (see her current Twitter bio). Her ability to navigate between the light and dark is infinite and it is no longer an issue. She's no longer blindly chasing happiness and realized both ups and downs of her life live in a symbiosis. She encourages him to realize the same. He doesn't have to give up the darkness (i.e. his true nature) to find the light.
And who I am is a big-time believer That people can change, but you don't have to leave her
^ See Heroin & Thunder analysis above. He doesn't have to leave her; instead, he can change. And she's grown enough to realize that. She's changed now.
And who I am is a big-time believer That people can change, but you don't have to leave her
"'Cause even in the dark I feel your resistance You can see my heart burning in the distance Baby, baby, baby, I'm your man (yeah)"
^ See Thunder lyrics (Laugh from a distance / She drives me closer).
__________________________
Here's where my part ends.
I really do think that this isn't over yet and we can expect more songs coming our way regarding her relationship with Barrie. Wouldn't be surprised if she reached her hand to him sometime soon, especially considering the weird "my boyfriend's back and he's cooler than ever" lyric in LFL the song, but God knows I'm stretching the fuck out of this. Thanks for not being to hard on me. If you are, that's fine too!
I know that not everybody has the time and wants to put an effort into reading all of this, but some feedback from people that indeed are genuinely interested in the topic would be amazing. You can also share other songs you think fit into this bigger picture.
I tried to post all the quotes in proper quotations for easy-read purposes, but it won't let me since there are so many of them. Instead, some quotations are grayed out. Sorry!
BTD - Lucky Ones is terrible, borderline unlistenable
Paradise - American is 10000% underrated
Ultraviolence - Old Money doesn't do much for me
Honeymoon - The Blackest Day is good but imo a little overhyped
Lust For Life - Summer Bummer is one of my fav ever Lana songs
Norman Fucking Rockwell! - I don't like California
bluejean liked a post in a topic by Rorman Nockwell in Lana and Nikki Lane at Guadalupe Vintage & Co in Gruene, TX - October 17th 2020