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Yosemite

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Posts posted by Yosemite

  4. Posted

    7 minutes ago, evalionisameme said:

    It needed proof reading-the pissing line and the crippling black star jet thing should have been replaced.

    Agreed, and the japanese toilet bowls

    I like that she wanted to make it look artsy but the way she approached it was not it

    3

  6. Posted

    Her poem doesn't look THAT bad if she would type it like this tho

    Spoiler

    I was the type of girl to swallow the world whole

    ingest it all

    I felt too much, needed too much

    there would never be enough love.

     

    Insatiable endless black hole of everythingness

    starving for everything I didn't need

    malnourished

    by placebos of love.

     

    Vitamins

    called success, attention, money, fame

    pissed out unaware into luxurious japanese toilet bowls

    nothing could touch the sides of my crippling black star jet black hole of noise

    no boyfriend, magazine cover, chart sale, sold out tour, million dollar contract

    could satiate my stomach ache for love

     

    I thought if I ate the world I would finally be full

    I would never be hungry again

    I was wrong, of course I was

    this isn't a movie, this is real life

    a ragged jagged pill of a life

    a whirl of clothes, cars, photoshoots, planes

    tears, traumas, studio strains

    approve, approve, approve

    try, try, try 

    grind, grind, grind

    to be heard, seen, valued, understood

    by men with no knowledge of real womanhood

    who held my power in their purses

    owned my chorus and my verses

     

    But now I am free

    of what I had to sever

    I am free of the hunger

    lighter than a feather

    I am free of those men

    and prolific like heather

     

    I ate the whole world

    and I'll eat it forever

    Can't say I love it, but this way it's a) way easier to read and understand and b) it makes the poem seem better than it is

    11
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