I really, really agree w/ a lot of thing that you've said. But, as a marxist, I think that we've never had any real communist experience. Communism is the final form of socialism, and we've never had this. I mean, in communism, the State wouldn't exist anymore bc (by the marxist logic) in the socialist phase, we would had the dictatorhip of the proletariat + revolution (it's called dictatorship bc we belive that we live in a burgeois dictartoship, so the proletarian government would be like democracy should be, I mean, everyone would have the same rights, voice, etc... and the class struggle would end bc the working class would have the power, not the burgeois).
Following this logic, those countries that you've mentioned have a system that would be considered "State capitalism", bc we still have private property, inequality and every capitalist stuff in those countries. The State in those countries acts exactly in the same way that the burgeois acts in the other countries, so, they can't be considered communist. Unfortunately, they've said that they are communist, but they're a bunch of dictators who are exploiting the working class by saying that they are communists (which it's not true).