barttttender

An absolute rave (10/10) from GigWise, in case it hasn't been posted yet. https://gigwise.com/reviews/3429011/album-review--lana-del-rey---did-you-know-that-there-s-a-tunnel-under-ocean-blvd

Game time! Predict the things Anthony Fantano's gonna say in his Ocean Boulevard review. I'll start:

Not sure if it's posted but Fantano names The Grants the best track (third single in a row) https://youtu.be/pdi-wWcOO1E

I'm also in the "we want pop Lana back" camp. I miss the beats of Born to Die coupled with her old-age voice. That worked so well for me, especially with dramatic lyrics and strings. (Unless it's surf rock Lana or hip-hop Lana, then I'm game all the way!) But I honestly think it's waste of energy to think that. Clearly, Lana is more interested in being our time's Billie Holliday as opposed to being the new Madonna. With three slow albums back to back (Taco Truck and a few other exceptions aside), she seems firmly positioned and comfortable in the singer-songwriter ballad lane, and I don't see her making any kind of switch. Especially since Jack is, like, her bff now. So, there's no point in waiting for big pop songs. It isn't gonna happen. We should appreciate what we have. I'm just thankful for the great piano and folk songs that we do have on the last three albums.

70/100 is a very good score. The reviews are promising! Sure, nobody gave it 5/5 stars yet, but with that running time and two interludes placed where the are, we didn't really expect that to happen.

It's behind a paywall. Would somebody be a literal doll and paste the review here?

Lol. I meant a hit song.

3.5 stars from DIY https://diymag.com/review/album/lana-del-rey-did-you-know-that-theres-a-tunnel-under-ocean-blvd

Omg i would have 10 people check everything lol. Pics, captions, everything. Cancel culture is cray cray

The Guardian's critics have been very questionable for a while now. That review was a mess when you read it in full. Also, Alexis Petridis is a total dickhead who gave NFR a 3/5. Then they totally ignored him and gave it The Best Album of the Year ranking a few months later.

Given how much they liked AW, an 8.1 (best new record) is not outside the realm of possibilities I honestly expect 7.6 - the same as Lust for Life and Blue Banisters. But if they give it less than 7.5 (Honeymoon, Chemtrails), that's when we should be worried because it'd be the worst-reviewed album since Ultraviolence (7.1), so it'd kinda mean a fall in quality. But I don't think they'll go that low. So, I say 7.5 minimum, 8.2 maximum.

So the wording is your problem? That's fine, I can rethink the phrasing. But the fact is: celebrities are thought of in higher regard than me and you. What they say has more gravitas. Parents allow their children to consume Lana's content on social. The same parents who pay for those kids' allowance and, therefore, Lana's records. If Lana wrote something like "drugs are good," absolutely she should be stopped. Now, how you phrase that process of social media management is pure semantics. I'll use managed or co-managed if that will make you feel better

To give you an idea, Adele doesn't even have the login details for her Twitter account. As she put it, "it's because I might say something stupid!" In this rampant cancel culture we live in today, it's critical to have someone manage your public presence for you or, at least, with you.

"bloated" is bound to come up. And he'll hate some of the tracks like Fishtail (he hated Cinnamon Girl and TJF). But I still think he'll give it a "light to decent 7' or something like that.

I love how approachable and down-to-earth she is. She's literally one of the people; her own marketing agency, and it's working so well. You can tell so many celebrities' socials are manufactured for them, and LDR is just your girl next door. It's brilliant and that's why fans connect with her on a personal level. But there is an imaginary border that shouldn't be crossed, and sometimes, Lana crosses that border. A manager is supposed to be the person taking control of that, aka crisis management. This goes for male celebrities too. It's not about Lana being a woman and having Ben to "mansplain" anything. Her manager could also be a woman and it'd be exactly the same.

Lol. I work in advertising and PR. So, I know what people pay managers and pr agencies for. I'm a huge feminist, and my comments have literally nothing to do with misogyny. Why don't you ever see Adele or Taylor Swift or other artists make controversial statements - it's because their posts are managed and pre-approved. That's all that this is about. Chill out. Not everything is an attack on Lana ffs.

Yes, love her! But that doesn't mean I'm blind to her occasional blunders...

I think we all agree that the Interludes were completely unnecessary. So, you're not alone in this.

You're way out of line, bro. While dissing the critics is totally a bad move on her part, saying that she's "sacrificed making hits to appeal to critics" is just not right. Norman got glowing reviews but still had a hit (Doin' Time). Also, it's possible to make hits and still have critics back you up (look up Taylor Swift's Anti-hero) - those two things are not mutually exclusive.

Lana is a genius, no doubt. But she also knows it, and that's where the problem is. She keeps expecting glowing reviews and obviously gets angry when she doesn't get them. She's clearly very sensitive to criticism / has a bit of an ego. If she truly didn't care for reviews, she wouldn't even mention them nor think about them. But to pre-empt them by saying "Oh, I didn't want the reviews to be good" is just childish. She's lucky everyone's still on her side after all the controversies and lack of conventional hits. She should learn when to be quiet sometimes and be classy. Pick her battles. That comment to Glastonbury should have been addressed to them privately or through her rep. Not drag them down in public. Again, Ben is not a great manager for letting her do these things.

One high budget sexy video for AW, Taco Truck or Peppers, please! No piano ballads! I'm sure we're all tired of seeing a few million views on all her latest videos (Arcadia, Chemtrails, Blue Banisters, White Dress, Let Me Love You Like a Woman and Arcadia V2).

Nah. 10 piano ballads guaranteed.