Lana tought me that I can be a feminist and still perversely enjoy her music (that is mosty about subordination and putting love above everything else).
I'm much into BDSM (it might sound strange considering the statement above), but only with a partner I enormously trust and share deep intimacy with, although I tried it in reality only with two of my lovers who I found out were acting out their rage and hatred towards women through that sexual praxis, and they suffered from malady of dividing women into madonnas and whores, where the first was sublime, goddess-like muse whom they loved from the distance, and the latter was just a dirty slut for fulfilling their nastiest fantasies. So they are the past now. But that physical and psychical masochism is still persistent in me, and I feed it with Lana's music. She's my lovely vampire, but also blood infusion. I'm like a hectic bussiness woman that is in charge in her professional life, and then comes home to her lover and dungeon to receive a sassy portion of staged whipping, just because I (sometimes) enjoy the pleasure intertwined with pain.
Also, I've managed to vent and sublimate my own melancholy and made it cosy and cathartic.
And I learned that I have that girlish, tender, romantic, flowerish, nostalgic and soft side, although I listen mostly post-punk and goth (not cheesy one) music. Nico and Diamanda Galas, those voices from the grave, are no longer my only divas.
Lana highlightened all facets of my feminine being, and all the archetypes, from nymph, virgin and lolita, to whore, amazon warrior, vamp, femme fatale, venomous seductress, empress, priestess and Hecate-like magician. I became aware of my own chameleon soul and of all its advantages to create my own works of art, which are very versatile, like I have a multiple personality disorder.
And although I've read Lolita a long time ago (I also highly recommend Nabokov's Ada), she pushed me into investigating Whitman and Ginsberg and beatnik culture.
And I was always into europian elegance, chic, history, culture and tradition (because I'm from Europe), but Lana's Americana learned me about validity of pop-culture and mixing high and low, elitist and populist, so to say. The american dream and devoted ambition is a rush of fresh air for melancholic old world.
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