Make me your Dream Life

I’ve had issues with you, and didn’t really want to make it anything more than what it wasn’t. It started w how you were having a trickier time when I’d make threads, which fine feel what you want. But to then try and replicate some threads I was making after wanting to shut me down? It felt fishy. I understand that you have a vocal opinion about a lot, but to do so, in such a constant tone of complaint, it feels a bit like manipulation. Ignoring a lot of others, yet sometimes being the one to start debates, which, fine, but it can just be too much. To which you even at some point acknowledged. if you’re allowed to step into what you feel, and come from a place of wanting, why am I not allowed to be casual, and state ideas, especially that are on topic?

It wasn’t for you.

I’ve barely been on here and when things are gatey, i just go along w it.d when I want to talk about theory/ no one else seems to want to follow, I’d like to think that if everyone’s on w complaining all the time/ hunting fake insiders n such, who’re more active, then why can’t I make the casual comment? 1. wasn’t a complaint, nostalgia. 2. I don’t seem to get all that much feather ruffling when I do post, going w the flow. 3. strike 2 when you’ve started personally targeting when I’ve already mentioned the casualty of my replies. I understand that my posts might seem a bit spacey sometimes, damned if I do, damned if I don’t. When MUCH of a lot of discourse have been actual complaints, actual bickering btwn whoever that I try to stay out of cus its just tiring. I’ve been modded unfairly earlier of my stay here, to the point of having to clear things up, and then the forum realizing that it was just me trying to steer things away from drama and gifs that even Elle acknowledged as well as other mods. To then, having everyone else follow suit w their posts to having fun. the double standards have kept me a bit more reserved and the ONE. the ONE time I express myself, during a slower time when not much was happening, I’m targeted like this. When I know for CERTAIN, that much of you have hurled much more heated discussions/ towards each other. My posts being automatically moved as they’re written off while others do the same and aren’t treated the same way? I guess you’re doing it a step more honorably and saying it to the thread’s face, unlike the group who felt the need to gang up on me on the sidelines, but from my reduced engagement, and popping here from time to time, already being policed by some who’re quicker to judge than to understand, what is that I’m to do? Are my comments that difficult/ vile to the point that I cause much distress? Will all my posts just be colored w nuance before actually being tried to be understood from a casual level w/o me having to be attacked and projected on first? My activity’s been shortened on here, and everyone else seems to be ok w arguing all the time/ getting into squabbles, and all of that for what seems to be difference of opinions/ ideals, and I’m not allowed to even say a single thing? Where’s the fairness in that? Tell me, from the perspective of being a user earlier than most, my mistreatment, taking the mod queues silently, while others got to do so w/o repercussion? How it was taken wrong? How users miss lustforlife but have this strange enabling quality to their need for entertainment and receptacling of theur frustration. And now this? When I barely post these days, you have the audacity to post to me, I’m guessing from previous discourse about how another user, already admittedly expressed their tendency to have an issue w everything? is it because I’m not playing favorites, or treating some like royalty/ kissing up, that allows you to think that you can just tell me what I’m saying when I’ve already phrased things in a way to have it sound even/ balanced? I seldom. Seldom, act in any kind of malice, and this is not one of those times either, so I’ll say. Never have I been thru any kind of drama from my years here, and when things felt simpler and things were a lot more nonchalant, I was NEVER one to start a fight, and if I never said anything directly, I more so wouldn’t cull some kind of grudge. I’m clearing this up since it seems to be fashionable to want to put a spotlight on me. Tell me, if you were to understand where I cane from, in comparison to the other things that you might’ve witnessed on here, the social trends and occurrences, what have I done, that you felt warranted this compound response? When have I been in an lb clique? To the point of being unfairly modded, and now being ganged up on for my less than frequent comments? There are users here who’ve done much worse. And either given passes bc of reputation, or made another account or whatever. I’ve witnessed much, and if there’s anything that I’ll do, I’ll clear my name and be as fair as I can so that no one else feels like they’re being cornered. This and some others makes me feel like I’ve fallen from grace on here, from wanting to carry the threads along from dry periods, something, again I’ve cleared up, to now being micromanaged and nitpicked bc the things I might say are different or go against the popular norm? I seldom talk to anyone on here, when my inbox was and still full. I hardly gossip, point any kind of negative direction towards anyone unless warranted a response to have them stop, to the point of miscommunication and now targetting. Targetting, from several users who aren’t perfect either and say whatever they like? It might not be my cup of tea but do you see me post policing? I keep to myself, after all the fun I’ve had on here just bc things’ve shifted, and I’ve done my best to adapt and accommodate to bring a more active, happier atmosphere. I never even wanted the attention, I was here to express my love, my excitement, and do my best to steer from sassy remarks and social politics. It so happens that it caught trend and I’d like to think when we get it right it makes this a happier forum to be a part of. Is that fair for you to just run w your perceptions and write me off so simply? What makes you think that you can simply tell me what I’m saying, disregard my posts bc they’re different, and then call me out like this? What does that say about you? Especially, and after I’ve elaborated from where I’m coming from. I won’t play these social political games w users on here. I won’t be a part of any clique/ and especially won’t allow myself to get caught up in these squabbles and feuds w others that aren’t perfect either. And when trends come and pass, and if or when perspective shifts to a calmer point, I’ll do my best to share my thoughts from a more objective/ non-sided perspective just cus I know how this forum can run away with things. I’ve stated my piece. Just bc some of my posts aren’t so quickly understood, doesn’t mean that I’m not allowed to share them. I’ve already done some inner checking that other users might not think to filter, and have them toned down. I know that my comments would get me made fun of (who was there to console, thank you to some) and end up being actually in theme and on topic of Lana’s work? And I’m supposed to just take it? Especially w some of the internet mouths that I’ve seen on here? Don’t tell me what I’m doing, a lot of the users on here didn’t realize I was even trying to make this forum a happier place until I had to clear it up. You might know how easy others being to dispute on here, and I’m sure I at least know some who understand where I’m coming from. I wouldn’t say all this if I didn’t have to, but from the string of rude comments, ostracizing, what else should I do? Just take it? No. I tried to keep quiet and brush things off and ignore it. I’m stating my side.

Just imagine the moment she decides to drop something. Like that, that’s the vibe we’re working towards

Sksksksks wasnt me

I kinda actually really miss the days where we could mess around on here and it wasnt so serious. Now its just kinda stifling sometimes, good thing the tunnel’s breezy

Twilight

There’s a lot of bickering rn we need the box set now more than ever

This is the experiience of an american whooooreeeeeeee

lucky ones

Title. I wanna say Chemtrails

idk either im just goin w it smth smth about a magazine time'll tell oh shit she posted on insta about billboard so there ya go

yes but did u also know that there's a del taco under american whore blvd?

thinking of *redacted gif* rn

hyped.

there's a tunnel under ocean boulevaaaaaaaaaaard ~

huh???????

charlieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

i'm just vibin all the fire rn it's amazing

wake up LB the tunnel's back on

LETS GO LETS GO LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

ready for the serve

feels like our baddie vocab just expanded thru her post

was just listening to ultraviolence as she posted it was a sign