I'm nearly done with the book, it's very good. It's such a whirlwind of events. A few notes:
- The amount of abuse of power with the conservatorship is wild to read, Britney was completely stripped of her autonomy in the most manipulative and corrupted way. No matter how many times i hear about that period of her life, it still seems so bizarre. The way her Father/lawyers literally swoop into her life and say "We own you now" is terrifying. The conversation Britney has with her Father where he says "You do what i say from now on......I'm Britney Spears now" is fucking insane.
- Kevin Federline is an opportunistic piece of shit, but we already knew that. I know she loves her sons, but i really wish she never had kids with him, he's a fucking leech. I am SO glad that pregnancy with Sam didn't end up working out because she doesn't need another money chaser clinging to her.
- I can see Justins poor choices during their relationship being summed up to his lack of maturity due to his age at the time, however, i still think the narrative he was peddling to the media after they split about Britney's cheating and HIS cheating being conveniently left out of the conversation was shitty. He dropped that bomb, walked away and the media ate her alive.
- Her family is hideous, her Fathers excessive expectations [on her and her brother] and endless control for financial gain later in life, her Mother being utterly useless and herself an opportunist [the stupid book she wrote] and her little sister being a spoiled fucking brat. What a bunch of trash people.
Britney seems like such a gentle soul and the poor girl seemed to really struggle with having the right tools to deal with what life was throwing her, even from a young age. It's just people taking advantage of her over and over. She seemed to be looking for stability and balance in her life many times out of a desperate need to feel a sense of belonging and worth, and she just couldn't find it. I don't think she ever really had the tools to be able to choose correctly because her child life never offered it to her from all the instability around her own family.
Throw in fame as well and you have a toxic machine that also took advantage of her when she was trying to hold it together during times where people were just tearing shreds of her dignity from her. It's awful.
There were a few moments in the book where she spoke about her anxiety and feelings of disconnection to her life that really resonated with me. I've felt those things before, it's hard, i can't even begin to imagine having to deal with that when there's a huge spotlight on you and no one around you wants to help.
I have a lot of compassion and love for her, i hope she can find whatever she is looking for at some point in her life. I actually really love when she talks positivity about music in the book, she speaks really happily of the early stage of her career and also sites Blackout as a creative high point for her. I'd love to see music be a safe space for her again.
Yes, it's very bizarre. But anyway.