I agree with a big part of what you said, but I don't think she was trying to be controversial tbh. If anything, she was trying to be politically correct by saying something *a lot * of people strongly believe in these days. I think it's kinda sad that a portion (because not all of it is like this, not by any means) of the feminist movement is less about true empowerment & telling women it's ok to make their own choices, and more about dictating how a feminist & empowered woman should behave and be like, and trying to impose those views on all other women regardless of how they actually feel about them.
This pretty much sums up my opinion on what I just said:
It sure as hell wasn't right when men did it, and it's still not right when women do it either.
About what Lorde said: imo (and like I said before in that status) that's an invalid criticism when it comes to music or any other type of art. I don't think artists should 'moderate' themselves or 'rethink' what they want to sing or write about because of a potential copy-cat effect on their audience. She didn't lie though, the drug-loving, adulterous & men-dependent lifestyle Lana sings about & seems to be fascinated with isn't exactly the healthiest in the world; however, and even though she eventually became a role model (even if she never wanted it, she didn't have a choice), Lana is first and foremost a musician & imo her primary concern while writing music can't be 'oh dear, how negatively will this influence my fans?'.