LanaBalkana

I will just pretend that the emails worked and Metacritic reduced Sputnik’s weighting

Watch metacritic reporting LB for spam and harassment

Literal definition of brain rot

She has a good relationship with Billboard, it could be pre-agreed and her way of “announcing it”. I don’t think she will do an official announcement herself given that she doesn’t do this even for he music.

ah okay, not that bad then but I’ll amend the message

Dear Metacritic staff, I hope this email finds you well. I would like to start by saying that I value the work that you do for promoting the cultural and art sectors. I believe that Metacritic has become such a trusted source precisely as a result of your long-standing integrity, commitment to upholding objective criticism and professionalism. On that note I would like to bring to your attention a review of Lana Del Rey’s latest release “Did you know that there’s a tunnel under Ocean Blvd”. The review in question is by Sputnik Music [insert link], which have presented a completely biased view of the album and have given a score of 2.5/5. This score is significantly lower than the average score of the album so far which comprises over 20 (!) reviews by various publications. This indicates that there is clear misalignment between Sputnik Music and their peers which can only be explained by subjectiveness. There is a clear trend by Sputnik Music bringing down album scores without any credible merit. One could even see negative bias against certain female artists, which if true, hides a much more serious issue with Sputnik Music’s work and potential misogyny and sexism veiled by false pretences of objectivity and informed artistic criticism. I believe that Metacritic should review the participation of Sputnik Music in its aggregate scores and consider removing them from not only Lana Del Rey’s page, but all artists. I believe in Metacritic’s integrity and do not consider Sputnik Music’s values to be aligned with yours. I am looking forward to your reply. Yours faithfully, XXX edit: fixed some typos

I think metacritic should kick out reviewers who are clearly biased and fall much below (or above for that matter) the average review score. There’s no reason for everyone to give the album at least 60 and most 80 and Sputnik to give it 25 if it’s an objective review.

Her mind

I just listened to peppers during my workout and it was amazing. But at the same time I also did my dips sets listening to Paris, Texas and it worked just as fine sooo

Weirdly enough the melody that has been stuck in my head all day is Fingertips who would have thought that an improvised melody recorded on a voice app in one take would be so fucking catchy

The Jon Batiste interlude is phenomenal. I really wish they include it in the music video

Tommy seems like such an awesome person to be honest. I stan

She should get Evan Peters to reprise his Kai Anderson role and lip sync over Judas, that would made it quite spectacular

The tiktoker seems to stan that line though, am I missing something?

So it’s not only us who are delulu that this account will do something lol

I saw pics that it’s also wrong on the vinyl sleeve lmao

Could SYTH be used in the new Little Mermaid film? It fits the plot as well as the ocean theme

Lucky bastards

Taco Truck x TT

Okay guys, I’m finally back from my trip and managed to listen to the album. And oh god what can I say… this is not an album, this is a movie soundtrack. I definitely think this is her most cinematic world and is so beautiful. I thought I may end up not really liking as everyone was hyping it so much, but I love love love it. The Grants: a beautiful intro to the album. It’s not the biggest highlight but I like it as an opener. Sweet: Such a beautiful song, I really liked it and it defied my expectations. Candy Necklace + JB interlude are fucking masterpieces. I want them to continue working together. A match made in heaven. Fingertips is otherworldly. I will always be fascinated by Lana’s ability to make melodies out of any lyric possible. It’s such a heartbreaking song. paris, texas: i loved the SYML song and what Lana did with it is turning gold into platinum. I don’t even know what to say. This song is making me feel things that I haven’t felt in a long time. Grandfather is good but not as mindblowing as I imagined it. Margaret is fantastic and doesn’t deserve any hate at all. The melodies are really beautiful. A classic Lana song. Taco truck: The first part is amazing and i really wished that they made this a full song. The VB part is a bit underwhelming for me but I don’t hate the song at all. i need some more time with Kintsugi, Fishtail and LTLI. I give it 8.5/10 and it’s absolutely in my top 3 alongside HM and NFR. It has everything I like about Lana: heartstopping lyrics, beautiful vocal melodies, nostalgic feelings, dark themes, sadness and hope intertwined and of course a little bit of fun and humour.

Universal acclaaaaim yass

We gotta see pics once it arrives sure you’ll slay in it hun

Yeah I kinda don’t see Lana getting disemboweled on set 💀💀

Financial Times rated it 4/5. I don’t think it counts for metacritic but it was good Hollywood’s dream factory recurs in the album, which ends with a recitation of the critic Pauline Kael’s pithy summary of movie glamour, “Kiss kiss bang bang”. In cinematic terms, the record casts Lana as a 1970s auteur. At 78 minutes, it is long and sometimes baffling. It is also technically very well made and beautifully performed. Some songs drift by in a reverie, gravely soundtracked by guitar and piano. Others twist into unpredictable shapes with surprising orchestrations and electronic beats. If her brand of mystique has sometimes seemed too knowing, then here it strikes an authentic note. The album follows its own entrancing logic, like dreams themselves, those enigmatic communiqués from our unconscious — the tunnel under the Ocean Blvd of our real and fantasy lives.

And one is short, the other’s grand omg