TW - SA
I have some feeling Lana is experiencing some internal slut shaming, fueled by societal media slut shaming. Clearly, AW is somewhat sarcastic in the same way that Boarding School is, where she's saying she's in the back of a club doing crack. But also, putting AW next to Ocean Blvd, it makes the title track make more sense and solidify what I was thinking when I heard it for the first time. "I can't help but feel somewhat like my body marred my soul" The entire beauty standard set by men/media (who, according to Lana on A&W, also might call her a whore), she's wondering if she takes control of that beauty standard and what she sees in herself, if she'd be forgotten, like the tunnel under Ocean Blvd, which was built to be at one time, beautiful with "mosaic ceiling, painted tiles on the wall". Would shen then have beautiful value, even if she's forgotten? And then on ocean blvd, she goes on to say, "Open me up, tell me you like it, fuck me to death, love me until I love myself" as if she's saying she's been inside this box and only when he finds her beautiful (or media finds her to be beautiful or her poetry, lyrics, what have you), they've already ran over her so many times that she's trying to figure out how to cope with herself from that initial running over, how to love herself. It goes along with A&W too - "it's not about having someone to love me anymore" is tragically sad, spoken by a woman who may not believe she's worth being loved by her lover or the media. I believe it's mostly about the media rather than a guy, but it all has that connotation that at first glance it is about a man but it can be applied to the media too.
"I mean, look at me, look at the length of my hair, my face, the shape of my body" She knows she's beautiful, but physical beauty in this business makes you seem from an outlooker like some cheap whore who fucked her way to a music deal. I guess this goes along with Fucked My Way Up To The Top, which may be why I'm pulling my own comparisons to UV right now, aside from this being another experimental sound from her. And then she goes on to talk about how she's been raped (which may have multiple meanings to it, whether she's talking about sexual assault, looking at how the media has absolutely fucked her, you could say that was a double entendre for that entire experience.) "do you really think that anybody would think I didn't ask for it, didn't ask for it, I'm testifying, already fucked up my story" which is true. After SNL, she didn't have a chance at redemption, she was fucked right from the start and when women experience SA/R they're told "You asked for it, you wore a mini skirt, you wanted it" or something along those lines. And in both contexts, I could see how invalidating that can be. She's shown us from the very beginning, whether in exaggeration or not, look at Tropico and what story that film told. It puts into perspective some of her other lyrics that I never really thought too deeply into. G&M, "Looking to get fucked hard, like a groupie, incognito, posing as a real singer, life imitates art" is one of them. Putting it next to A&W and Ocean Blvd, it kind of represents a path of a story she's been wanting to tell her entire career.
Someone else has mentioned how it reminds them of Bare Feet On Linoleum too
"But alas.
This is a real life. And it’s been a real fight, just to stop my mind from committing treason.
Why, you ask?
Because she told the towns people I was crazy.
And the lies, they started to believe them."
Idk what I'm saying, maybe I'm analyzing too much into it (i'm sick rn, so maybe that's it) but the further we get into this album, I think a lot of things are going to fall into place and make sense.
i'm sorry but those box sets are kind of ugly? like... a hoodie with a bad selfie on it? for $90? you're wanting to sell me a cd box set with a $14 cd in it and $76 hoodie and cardboard box? girl.... i know inflation has hit us all but damn