Norman Fucking Rockwell - Pre-Release Thread

[Shadowheart 3,813]

ok ladies, i guess its time to call Miss Robichaux's Academy

[Off To The Races 2010 demo pls 19,336]

I was walking to my car when I noticed my pants were on fire. I turned to my friend and said, "I think were going to need an oven and fast."

He grabbed me with his soggy fingers and said.. "Snap out of it, Man."

Then he proceeded to chant and walk in circles around me.

I looked down, My pants were still on fire, but by this time it had spread to my Uterus and three other ligaments. I was getting pretty agitated that no one seemed to care about my third degree burns, or my soon imminent death, but I went along with his plan still hoping he'd manage to save me through his voo-doo witchcraft.

After I came out of my trance from the fire I noticed that I was now in the kitchen of my grandma's house baking a cake..

I Screamed "WHAT THE F***?"

My Grandma ran in and slapped the s*** outta me for cursing.

Then she proceeded to say, "I swear if you talk like that 5 more times, I'll beat the living s*** outta you."

I was quite confused as to what was going on and what I did to deserve this true life mad lib. I just stood there in silence with a look of uttermost confusion.. and I starred at the women who had once been a kind sweet old lady, who wouldn't even kill a baby piglet, now turned into this vicious beast of a monster with veins protruding from her neck like a porcupines quills on a midsummer day.

She gasped, and then with the blink of an eye turned back into the sweet old lady I had once known.

"Would you like some cookies, dear?"

"Ummm Yes, grandma."

As she went to retrieve the cookies, I was planning my escape.. Looking around pondering what unimaginable thing would happen next if I stayed. As my grandma neared the corner with her plate of cookies, I ran to the door as fast as my burning legs would take me.

As I made my silent escape I heard grandma yell, "You forgot your cookies dear"

Little did she know I didn't give a s*** about those cookies. As I ran I thought about my previous life and how this whole day had been more interesting than my Whole entire life on earth had.. I began to ponder if this was karma kicking my a** for just sitting on the laptop all day typing short stories for little to no pay. When I decided to stop and catch my breath, I wiped the sweat from my face and looked up to see what else this new world had to offer.

Far off in the distance I could see a huge building, maybe a hotel or some sort of jail. I wasn't too sure.. but I marked that location off my list, the last thing I needed was to go to a jail and get killed by a bunch of mobsters.. I mean Hell my pants were already on Fire.

I decided to turn to my left and see what my next choice would be.

There were flying cantaloupes, rainbows and songs of happiness near by, I mean I was a little frightened by the flying fruit but I'll take this any day over Prison inmates.

I skipped closer and closer to the festivities and when I arrived I seen all my friends I had went to high school with there were holding hands and singing Kumbayah around the camp ice.. Yes It was a giant block of ice situated on three wood logs.. I felt much more comforted here than I did at my grandmas. I took a deep breath of relief and I thought Maybe, this day is getting better. I joined hands and with Germany and Tokyo and began to sing with everyone else, but as soon as I Belched out my voice changed to an annoying high pitched squeal.. Similar to ringing in your ears.

Everyone turned toward me and gave me the death stare and I knew I had screwed up once again, they all walked in slow motion towards me saying the same familiar chant I had heard earlier, before anyone could reach me I awoke in a frantic sweaty rush in my bed.. My legs were no longer on fire and I felt slightly normal again. I noticed that my mom, a preacher, and several other family members were standing around me sobbing and chanting.. I said. "What's going on?" They informed me that I had been possessed by a spirit named Robert that liked to make people crazy by making there dreams seem similar to real life, only completely insane. They told me that I had been very lucky to be through such a traumatic experience and live to tell about it, without needing to be put in a psych ward. I turned to the preacher and said.

"I think were gonna need an oven and fast."

That's when they knew I was a goner.

[violets 11,896]

My mom has a friend with minor psychic abilities but she doesn’t do psychic stuff and probably doesn’t know who Lana is

 

get that bitch on LB right now

[cherryblossoms 10,420]

and who are u? did someone speak to you?

you seem obsessed with unleaked hydroponiccunt

what i do is none of ur concern

try practicing kindness before I get Elle to ban your rude ass!

Kind reminder that Love demo snippets are nearing its two year anniversary

[PerwinkleDreams 6,800]

M confused are you an antivaxxer or not?

no I think she's just against getting a vaccine for everything. like obviously get your babies vaccinated, but dont get those stupid vaccines for the common cold... that literally starts weakening your body 

[Terrence Loves Me 72,702]

M confused are you an antivaxxer or not?

im the smart option

[Serene Queen 4,786]

get that bitch on LB right now

She’s never used them and I doubt she’ll start for a small alt music forum

im the smart option

So you’re pro-vaxxine, okay!

[SparkleJumpropeNoose 8,750]

Hey wait why is there a discussion on vaccines in the pre-release thread

[salvatore 21,769]

i know you dirty bitches are not about to spew anti-vax buffoonery

[111 36,699]

 

xoxo super blood eclipse 

[Terrence Loves Me 72,702]

no I think she's just against getting a vaccine for everything. like obviously get your babies vaccinated, but dont get those stupid vaccines for the common cold... that literally starts weakening your body 

pretty much, people are basically trusting the same system that invented cancer and wont release the cure, loool

[PerwinkleDreams 6,800]

i know you dirty bitches are not about to spew anti-vax buffoonery

Again, no.... Vaccinate your children. Just don't go over board and start vaccinating yourself for pet allergies, a common cold, a headache, because you're bored, etc. You do realize anti biotics aren't working on certain viruses right now because people are taking them in abundance right............... 

[111 36,699]

pretty much, people are basically trusting the same system that invented cancer and wont release the cure, loool

 

Worst Taste

 

explains a lot 

[BluVelvUnderground 1,754]

Hey wait why is there a discussion on vaccines in the pre-release thread

 

 

It's official. I'm taking a break until more news comes rolling in. 

 

[cherryblossoms 10,420]

Fuck vax buffoonery, leak Love demo AKA her artistic peak

[salvatore 21,769]

Again, no.... Vaccinate your children. Just don't go over board and start vaccinating yourself for pet allergies, a common cold, a headache, because you're bored, etc. You do realize anti biotics aren't working on certain viruses right now because people are taking them in abundance right............... 

I'm commenting about the other bitch who is being incredibly vague on their overall stance and not at all specifically sympathizing to your individual points

[SparkleJumpropeNoose 8,750]

Hey is that a threat

[Serene Queen 4,786]

pretty much, people are basically trusting the same system that invented cancer and wont release the cure, loool

this is some dangerous extreme right wing shit you’re gettin into Terrence

[salvatore 21,769]

even then you dirty bitches not taking the vaccines for the shit that was gone for decades n now is comin back don't belong on here

[American Bottom 16,229]

Kind reminder that Love demo snippets are nearing its two year anniversary

Stream the mix I made! And vote me for Audio Editing xo

http://picosong.com/wCRYi/