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mkultraviolence

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Everything posted by mkultraviolence

  1. mkultraviolence

    Song vs. Song

    Off To The Races vs Love
  2. mkultraviolence

    Song vs. Song

    Cruel World vs Hundred Dollar Bill
  3. mkultraviolence

    Song vs. Song

    Cruel World vs Ultraviolence
  4. mkultraviolence

    Song vs. Song

    Velvet Crowbar vs Last Girl on Earth
  5. mkultraviolence

    Song vs. Song

    Velvet Crowbar vs Big Bad Wolf
  6. I have a lot of different irrational fears that come and go. Some come back and others I haven't seen since in years. I actually wrote a poem recently on my blog Junkyard Scraps on here about my irrational fear of people killing themselves. During family therapy sessions if my father had to use the restroom I'd beg him not to kill himself, crying and just pleading. When I was in the hospital and my parents were leaving I would also beg them not to hurt themselves and I'd just break down. It was irrational, they have never attempted or hurt themselves, to my knowledge. I have OCD so I'm basically a grab bag of irrational fears. Something I struggled with for a couple years was the fear of dying. I had to do certain things to keep myself from dying. I actually stopped writing for 2 months in sophomore year because I was so scared it would kill me. So I couldn't get any paper work done. I had geometry at the time so I couldn't draw all those lines or in music I couldn't write little compositions. I'm very fortunate to have good support and good psychiatric services around me. When I have fears, well sometimes I avoid them. Sometimes I get afraid to walk up or down the stairs, so I just kinda make myself stop thinking and then just go for it. If I'm afraid to leave the house, usually I don't. But I haven't felt that way in a while. When I'm afraid I'll die, that one is more complicated. I just resist the compulsion as best as I can or give in to it. Resisting is super hard because it causes such intense fear and pain. But I've gotten over one of my worst compulsions by "riding the wave" and waiting it out until my fear subsided. I would usually be in the hospital/emergency room/group home because it was so debilitating and complex and I had a few people help me manage my panic attack and try to get me to use coping skills to resist the compulsions. Do you have any passions that have gotten you through hard times?
  7. mkultraviolence

    Song vs. Song

    Love Song vs Pawn Shop Blues
  8. Yes ma'am Do you have any regrets about what you did/didn't do in the last 24 hours?
  9. mkultraviolence

    Song vs. Song

    the other woman vs don't let me be misunderstood
  10. velvet black skies on humid nights with the scent of lilac in the air, your lips on mine
  11. I have a disco ball mind, lights flashing all of the time vs If he could go on without your help, he would do it all by himself
  12. I do! I'm excited for the future! Do you see yourself getting married?
  13. As someone who hasn't seen Lana live and who doesn't watch videos of her concerts, I would like to see her sing Off to the Races. It seems like it could be such an explosive crazy performance, but how some people make it sound... idek. I just wish she would put effort into something, anything.
  14. She reads Whitman and has mentioned that Rupi Kaur inspires her. I think she probably looks to Woolf and Plath as inspiration, as well. I haven't read much of her insta poetry so idk
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