Ben Mawson

It's the crumpets tbh

On second thought, maybe Lana should mind living on bread and oranges, noooooo NOOOOOOOOO!

OK

I will. As if! #NotAllLanaBoarders In my defense, Dua probably needed her Grammys polished again.

when you try to come for me, I keep on flourishing (yeah)

So passive-aggressive I make Ed do it.

up ur meme game jack

Get down like your tutor taught you to and do it. Hot hot hot hot ho-oooooooooot Let's discuss this: I’m delicious. damn you.mp3 I feel like there's a haebenmawson tumblr joke in here somewhere. same tbh Idk. I think it's pretty funny I shut down your tumblr, but I could still "get it".

I am programmed to smile only when my clients win Grammys. https://www.instagram.com/p/BtuoS-wB3IG/ So I have some news... @@Elle can you be a doll and give these reactions of mine the emoji treatment?

me when stans ask me to release her album

Feet don't fail me now

So proud to manage a Grammy-winning artist. It's pretty amazing that Lana and Dua now have two Grammys between them.

I doubt I remember the password anymore. I haven't been active on that account in years. Just a bodge job to send some reference tracks to a few industry folk and the guy who mixed the audio for the Premises sessions. What the devil was his name. I think he's an expat down under now. Whose settee do you think Lana was sleeping on when she recorded that song? I don't know every unreleased Lana song like some of you probably do, but I do have at least a passing familiarity with songs in her setlist. Also amused by the idea that someone who gets spammed by thirsty stans literally every day wouldn't know a thing or two about stan culture.

It goes hard. Oh wait, you meant the album? Being the real Ben Mawson and being an incredibly dedicated troll are not mutually exclusive. You'd be surprised how much time you'd have on your hands if one of your clients stopped listening to most of your advice, but still paid you anyway. Or maybe you wouldn't. Also, I stick my twin Ed with a lot of the drudge work. This guy gets it. Here ya go: https://bit.ly/2WMbcDc I'm the real Ben, but then again, that's exactly what a fake Ben would say. Technically speaking, my dad is the real Ben Mawson and I'm just a half-Iranian ripoff of the original. Lana trolling is in my blood. I come by it honestly. ok UsAgainstTheWorld.mp3 Or I just forgot to tick the "Allow me to approve members before they're added as a friend" box when I first signed up. Hi, a hole.

You say this as if I haven't already tried... new phone who dis venmoed you Maja doesn't think I'm funny either.

I got new rules I count 'em 1. Don't date Ben Mawson whatever Yeah, I just couldn't get it up for that. Wait, which one of us is Big Bird? I'm so confused... Bitch I saw it too. We just want the fuckin' truth You're within the jurisdiction of the UK now? Interesting.

This is a longer, more self-indulgent rant than the "Ride" monologue, Tropico, or the "Venice Bitch" outro. Jesus. With your big eyes, and your bi-i-ig...

anal

Apparently.

Actually it was Qdoba