Rorman Nockwell

... OK this is pretty far-fetched but I've been dying to type it. What if ... Lana and Jack had a thing ... and they broke up? It would explain the dead silence from both of them, her managers' contradicting each other/Lana, and the delay. And when I say it would explain the delay, I mean - if they are no longer on good terms - they might want some time before it drops .. or they might even have been told to fix/add something, and they need time before they feel comfortable working together again, etc. I also immediately thought of him when she wrote that poem about "Joe" and his "brown eyes". It'd explain why she seemed so enthused about this album and then just went silent. I mean she probably is with that other actor guy now but it doesn't mean she wasn't with Jack. (Captain's Log, Page 1552: people start really making stuff up to justify)

Yeah what I meant was her songs likely evolve when she's working with someone else. Like I'm not doubting that she writes the lyrics, but she likely changes those lyrics up sometimes suit chords, etc ... there's some outside influence there. Whereas the poems seem very raw and drafty.

She wants to hope it's fucking good, then, because if it isn't she will look even sillier than she does with her vape. "Couldn't stop the way I was feelin' the day my record dropped ... AND IT WASN'T EVEN THAT GOOD!"

I mean, I think the poems are OK. They're not amazing. Other people help her write songs most of the time (even if the concepts are her own), whereas the poetry is much more raw. So in a way, the poetry is more her. I don't really like to compare them.

This would be the most awful decision ever, and she's made some pretty awful ones ... dating G Eazy, for example.

u little fuckers

You know, I fully expect her to only print like 200 copies of this and give them to some obscure little bookshops that nobody lives near. She might not even tell us which one/s. That would be so her. Imagine the fandom meltdown ...

I hope she sent her sister a "fuck you" text, too.

Oho those be fightin' words

What lives?

Maybe she's trying to make herself less about the looks and the glamour because she's feeling that it's unsustainable and/or she's just tired of it. Not that 30s is old or that older women aren't attractive, but yeah. She's also been wearing a whole lot less makeup lately and is seen bare faced quite frequently, which never would've happened 3 or 4 years ago. Everything she's given us for NFR has been decisively unglamourous so I'm not expecting that to suddenly change.

I want the touring to happen sooner rather than later - not just because it means we get NFR sooner/we can see her on tour - but because maybe she will sort herself out. Surely those friends of hers can't go on tour with her and surely she can't maintain the Instagram baddie lifestyle within the tour atmosphere. Hopefully she'll have an epiphany whilst touring Siberia or some shit and wake the fuck up. I don't blame her; most of her IG friends are there because of Lana and pretty much every question would've been about Lana so she probably went, "fuck it". I feel sorry for her, actually.

Legit. I mean, it's not a coincidence that she starts hanging out with the Mean Girls and subsequently announces that she's going to be an Instagram baddie. Nobody can argue that they're not influencing her. We all understand that it's her life to live how she wishes, but as a fan of her work you can't help but think about the impact it's having/going to have. This is why I posted elsewhere that I'd like her to GTFO of LA for awhile. I think the fame/LA bullshit has gotten to her and it's affecting her professionalism and her work. I honestly think if she keeps going in this direction it'll be "Lana who?" in a few years. Maybe that's what she wants, though.

OK because I'm a fkn maniac I've been pondering this, and I wonder if anyone else has pondered the same: Has anyone else ever noticed that Lana's friends and family refrain from addressing her using an actual name (be it Lana/Lizzy/Elizabeth)? It's not really of any consequence but it's no secret what her stage and real names are so I find it interesting. I only ever skimmed her dad's Twitter because it wasn't very interesting/I felt like a creepy stalker, but I did notice that he constantly calls Chuck, "Chuck" ... but when he talks about Lana he omits a name altogether. He does use "Lana Del Rey" when talking about her work but when actually talking about her he never uses a name. From what I noticed on Chuck's IG, it's the same. I noticed it's the same with her friends; in the bunny video from yesterday the person videoing says, "Sarah?" and "Jennie?" but to Lana she says, "and how about you?". I wonder if Lana has asked her family and friends to either not refer to her by any name, or to not refer to her by a specific name (eg: maybe she told her family not to call her "Lizzy" on social media and they feel odd calling her "Lana" so they just don't put a name). I remember she said in an interview recently that most of her friends call her "Lana" now, which I found somewhat odd. Like if my real name was Lizzy and my actual, real life friends called me by my stage name I think I'd find that a bit disconcerting ... but I'm not her, so I'll never know. (Also, maybe Lana is withholding NFR so she can laugh at us all getting crazier and crazier in the absence of music).

Fuckkkk (You know what this board needs? A "fuck that" button beside the "like" button ...)

So someone on the earlier pages said she said it'd have 13 poems, and I count 9 on her IG (including 3 haiku). So she only has 4 more to post and then she's fresh out of fucks - er, poems - and THEN she has to release it. Right? Right?! And then we get the album?! But she probably lied and it's 130 poems.

Heroin. Fight me.

Amendment: I ESPECIALLY want her to do this right after she decides that being an Instagram baddie is not for her. Preferably like, next week.

There's nothing wrong with having some fun - like, I don't have a problem with her injecting pop culture references or even humour into her work - but the way she's done that recently has seemed poorly thought out and lazy. Like, there was just no need to put the word "Tesla" in that poem at all, for example. I found that it really distracted me from everything else she was trying to say. To me, that's the "Tesla" poem and I can hardly remember anything else about it. She's almost in her mid 30s now. She's not old, but she's not super young, either. She should just focus on being herself. It reminds me of when Madonna tried to do this shit 10 years ago or something. She did some semi-rap song about doing yoga and pilates and drinking lattes 'n' shit, and it was embarrassing. Artists produce the best work when they are themselves. She spends too much time trying to be someone else. And I am not talking about the LDR persona; because LDR had cohesion. Whoever she is trying to be now does not. This Instagram baddie business is awful; when I read that tweet I REALLY hoped she was joking. It's not even about her friends - she can be friends with whoever - but I SERIOUSLY hope she stops this Instagram baddie shit soon, because she seems to be taking it way too far and it seems to be affecting her professionalism. You get the sense that even her managers don't even really know WTF she's doing. If she was writing songs for her new album NOW, in this mindset/persona/whatever the fuck this is, I would have very low expectations. /rant

An Instagram baddie wouldn't care, so nor does she. Fresh out of fucks forever = Truths Lana Has Told Us

Basically: 1. Lana declared on NYE that she was going to spend this year living as an Instagram baddie 2. She has a group of Instagram baddie friends 3. She and her Instagram baddie friends go to church and Cha Cha Matcha, mostly 4. She wears activewear now 5. Norman Fucking Rockwell is possibly a figment of everyone's imaginations 6. She's publishing a poetry book and selling it for $1, but you can save your $1 and read it all on her Instagram That's it. That's the crisis. Especially #5

Right so I did hallucinate. Nothing to see here, folks. As you were. (Feel free to delete my previous post + this one, of course ... idk how to do that myself)

OK maybe I hallucinated but yesterday, I'm sure Lana had 417 IG posts (I notice numbers) and now she has 416. What did she delete and why, hmmm? Cannot see anything obvious missing but I wouldn't notice tbh. I just noticed the number changed.

"Tigers and women can't be in the same room. Even if the tiger is a female. Because the pheromones a girl puts off - the tiger will eat them." I mean, obviously I get why you wouldn't be in the same room as a tiger, and I'm not a zoologist, but I do not think that is the reason. If it was, tigers at zoos would never have female handlers, and they do. It is therefore my conclusion that that was 100% Lana Del Liar.