Katy in the absolute most FLOP tv show in Brazil is so ironic in some way. this is the most awkward video I watched this month, I can't stop replaying it
Hello KitKats and sane users of Lanaboards, I come with yet another exclusive abloom review and inside-her tea for y'all, this time on one of my most anticipated releases of the year.
CRUSH: I think you've all heard the chorus of this, but the verses are at least listenable. It's a synth driven, thumping dance track. She's serving a high, girly voice - a flirtatious vocal performance which I prefer to her belty shtick or "sexy, c*nt-fident" vibes. Although the lyrics sound like they were written by a teenager, even more than the rest of the alboom. 2/5
Even all the birds are singing
Yeah I, I got those palpitations, those boom-boom-booms
I'm on a new vibration
Yeah I, I need some medication, your ooh-ooh-ooh
I need no explanation
Is it a crush, making me blush?
ARTIFICIAL: This sounds like a Kim Petty song (just like the rest of the album), it has a similar vibe to brr/BAIT. There's a darker hyperpop sensibility that Katy tries to pull off but fails. I guess it's not too far from some of the urban/r&b leaning songs she tried to do before, but her cringe vocal performance and personality prevents any sort of cuntiness from being served. And yes it sounds like Gorgeous too, which we've all unfortunately heard bits of. 1.5/5
Artificial, say what you're thinking
Do you put emotions over reason
Are you gonna love me like a human
Can you touch me in a simulation
Who's gonna save us from losing our minds
Oh you're so dangerous, devil in disguise
TRUTH: This one is extremely, disgustingly boring. This is my least favourite as it serves the most filler on an alboom full of fillers. I truly believe she AI'd this one, because there's no other reason why pop music is being desecrated like this. 1/5
You treat me different
Tell me what's going through your mind
You act so distant
Who you see when you close your eyes
I wanna know the truth, even if it hurt-hurts me
ALL THE LOVE: Yet another cheesy, empowerment style song with a dancier mid-tempo production. I'm honestly out of words to describe them at this point, as nothing new is being offered to my ears on this repetitive, saccharine, almost AI'd journey. I can't decide if Truth or this one made me plead in agony, "Katy Perry please stop." 1.5/5
WONDER: This one sounds like a classic Stargate song, there's a euphoric euro-pop quality to it. This is the least offensive out of everything I've heard and it would have probably smashed in 2013. Acoustic guitars on the chorus, synth driven, thumping beat, it's a nice listen and a cute song for her daughter. But nonetheless extremely dated and nothing new from the queen of cheesy empowerment songs. 2/5
Be heavy on your wings
Stay pure, beautiful girl, woah
Don't let the fear in the world
Burn out what you believe
Cause one day when we're older
Will we still look up and wonder?
Overall, an incredibly generic and dated offering with the most surface level lyrics you could ever dream of. Each song sounds like a copy-paste of one another with minimal variations, sometimes she tries to serve "c*nt" on songs like Artificial and falls flat on her face. Though I think her fans will enjoy and hype mid tracks like Crush and Nirvana (the latter being my 'favourite'), there's zero artistic growth being displayed on here. She is phoning it in and pandering to gays on demos that were probably leftover in Ava Max and Kim Petras folders, in a desperate attempt to revive her and Dr Luke's career. I genuinely think there are much better cuts on Whiteness and Smile, while 143 is exactly the musical junkyard that we were promised with Woman's World.
Isn't Troye Sivan complaining about straight people using the term "twink" a bit ironic.... considering he just publicly gave Charli (straight woman) permission to say "faggot" a few weeks ago 😭
eusexua is a nice intro to the record. I'm excited she's moving in a happier direction with her music and I can't wait to see what she has ready for us.
as a 30 year old man who is trying to be a twink, i kindly ask that we refrain from phrasing that puts me in the same category as troy sivan... thank you...
as a 30 year old man who is trying to be a twink, i kindly ask that we refrain from phrasing that puts me in the same category as troy sivan... thank you...
as a 30 year old man who is trying to be a twink, i kindly ask that we refrain from phrasing that puts me in the same category as troy sivan... thank you...
as a 30 year old man who is trying to be a twink, i kindly ask that we refrain from phrasing that puts me in the same category as troy sivan... thank you...
as a 30 year old man who is trying to be a twink, i kindly ask that we refrain from phrasing that puts me in the same category as troy sivan... thank you...
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