Rorman Nockwell

https://mobile.twitter.com/LanaDelLovers/status/1123673763550257154
 
The caption. I'm dead. 
 
Really, though. My 14-year-old cousin makes videos like these. These are two 30-something-year-old grown ass women. What the fuck? Such regression. 
 
Maybe it's over my head but is this meant to be funny, or .... ?
 
Insta baddies or insta twelvies?

I'm not sure I'm buying her being over being a celebrity. I think if she really was, she'd move out of LA for a start. If I was famous and I decided that I was over it, that's the very first thing that I'd do. She wouldn't even have to move far; and I don't know exactly where she lives in LA, but every time she goes out it's to West Hollywood, and she knows the paparazzi are going to be there.
 
Sia is notoriously shy for a celebrity (after all, that's what the wig is all about) and she lives in Palm Springs, which is close enough to LA for work, but also far enough away that she isn't in the thick of the Hollywood lifestyle.
 
If Lana attends the Met Gala then I think we can debunk this theory because if you don't want to be a famous Hollywood celebrity then you don't dress up lavishly in designer clothing and attend an event on the other side of the country where you know you will be photographed extensively. If she doesn't go, then that will raise questions.
 
We can only speculate as to what her deal is but I honestly think it has much more to do with hitting her mid 30s, having a bit of an existential crisis, and re-prioritising. She's said she wants to have kids and as I said elsewhere, that can't wait forever.
 
I think she feels she needs to put her relationships first rather than her work, which also explains why NFR is delayed and why she is spending so much time with these saddie friends. As distasteful as I find those friends, it makes sense in the context of my theory.
 
She used to be friends with Jaime King and they're not even IG friends now (there could many reasons for that, but they're obviously not close any more because they're never seen together, which points to a falling out or drifting apart). All of her romantic relationships have failed miserably; as far as I know she is no longer friends with any of her exes (except possibly Barrie, but again, I don't think they're close because they are never seen together ... I also think Barrie would take her back in a heartbeat but that's a whole other rant). I don't think she's close with her mum, and perhaps not even her dad. Basically, all of the evidence points to her sucking at relationships for fuck knows what reason, and I'm sure it's not something that has escaped her notice.
 
So yeah, relationships and personal life > work, whereas I think it used to be work > relationships and personal life. Unfortunately, her fans come under the "work" category which is why she appears to not give a fuck.

It must be over my (bitter) head.
 
I'm not saying she can't have fun, but ... eh.

https://mobile.twitter.com/LanaDelLovers/status/1123673763550257154
 
The caption. I'm dead. 
 
Really, though. My 14-year-old cousin makes videos like these. These are two 30-something-year-old grown ass women. What the fuck? Such regression. 
 
Maybe it's over my head but is this meant to be funny, or .... ?
 
Insta baddies or insta twelvies?

https://mobile.twitter.com/LanaDelLovers/status/1123673763550257154
 
The caption. I'm dead. 
 
Really, though. My 14-year-old cousin makes videos like these. These are two 30-something-year-old grown ass women. What the fuck? Such regression. 
 
Maybe it's over my head but is this meant to be funny, or .... ?
 
Insta baddies or insta twelvies?

Okay honeymouns leaking Cherry Blossom and Wild One today is honestly iconic
 

Oh. It's you. 
 
You're going to have to be more specific and/or give us Cinnamon. Actually, fuck the specifics, just give us Cinnamon. 
 
Your credibility is in tatters after Thursday. Cinnamon or go away. 

Jesus, I was gone for one damn page and all hell breaks loose. 
 
Simmer down and have a beer, folks. 

I'm not sure I'm buying her being over being a celebrity. I think if she really was, she'd move out of LA for a start. If I was famous and I decided that I was over it, that's the very first thing that I'd do. She wouldn't even have to move far; and I don't know exactly where she lives in LA, but every time she goes out it's to West Hollywood, and she knows the paparazzi are going to be there.
 
Sia is notoriously shy for a celebrity (after all, that's what the wig is all about) and she lives in Palm Springs, which is close enough to LA for work, but also far enough away that she isn't in the thick of the Hollywood lifestyle.
 
If Lana attends the Met Gala then I think we can debunk this theory because if you don't want to be a famous Hollywood celebrity then you don't dress up lavishly in designer clothing and attend an event on the other side of the country where you know you will be photographed extensively. If she doesn't go, then that will raise questions.
 
We can only speculate as to what her deal is but I honestly think it has much more to do with hitting her mid 30s, having a bit of an existential crisis, and re-prioritising. She's said she wants to have kids and as I said elsewhere, that can't wait forever.
 
I think she feels she needs to put her relationships first rather than her work, which also explains why NFR is delayed and why she is spending so much time with these saddie friends. As distasteful as I find those friends, it makes sense in the context of my theory.
 
She used to be friends with Jaime King and they're not even IG friends now (there could many reasons for that, but they're obviously not close any more because they're never seen together, which points to a falling out or drifting apart). All of her romantic relationships have failed miserably; as far as I know she is no longer friends with any of her exes (except possibly Barrie, but again, I don't think they're close because they are never seen together ... I also think Barrie would take her back in a heartbeat but that's a whole other rant). I don't think she's close with her mum, and perhaps not even her dad. Basically, all of the evidence points to her sucking at relationships for fuck knows what reason, and I'm sure it's not something that has escaped her notice.
 
So yeah, relationships and personal life > work, whereas I think it used to be work > relationships and personal life. Unfortunately, her fans come under the "work" category which is why she appears to not give a fuck.

Jesus, I was gone for one damn page and all hell breaks loose. 
 
Simmer down and have a beer, folks. 

Jesus, I was gone for one damn page and all hell breaks loose. 
 
Simmer down and have a beer, folks. 

Because I'm petty as fuck, I noticed that Barrie liked the pics of Lana and Chuck with the dog, but not the pic of her friends. 
 
Barrie hates her friends. 
 
Barrie is a LanaBoards member confirmed. 

Jesus, I was gone for one damn page and all hell breaks loose. 
 
Simmer down and have a beer, folks. 

Eh I forgot about her. That's a good guess.
 
I do think there's something going on behind-the-scenes with this album.
 
Letting an artist have 3 or 4 months to just chill before an album release is understandable ... but 7 months? Her managers and label can't possibly be happy with that. Nobody sits on a finished album for that long. I know someone mentioned Bastille doing it but I think it's more understandable with a band because you need everyone available/in agreement for promo, touring, etc. Lana is solo; it's all up to her. I think there's a problem of some sort. I don't know what that problem is, but it's sketchy as fuck at this point.

Jesus, I was gone for one damn page and all hell breaks loose. 
 
Simmer down and have a beer, folks. 

It's probably Katy fucking Perry, but we live in hope.
 
If it's our sis then it'll be leaked on Thursday.
 
Also OT af but Baz Lurhmann is doing an Elvis biopic and I want Lana as Priscilla or at least on the fkn soundtrack. Go post on his Twitter and tell him.

Your mother has worked harder than Lana during this era so really, why apologize.

1. If you have a song, share it. If you don't want to share it, DM me and I promise I'll make you talk you into it.
 
2. If you know something, tell it (I'm looking at YOU, @Fantasy).
 
Don't waste everyone's time. Nobody wastes my time but ME! (Spelling is fun!)