AntiToxicPill

How much do we have to beg ? 
 

Wow. Just wow. A perfect song.

Wow. Just wow. A perfect song.

Wow. Just wow. A perfect song.

Wow. Just wow. A perfect song.

Wow. Just wow. A perfect song.

That'd be ideal tbh lol 

How much do we have to beg ? 
 

How much do we have to beg ? 
 

How much do we have to beg ? 
 

This album found me in a very dark time in my life. In May 2014 I entered this kind of fugue state. Everyone’s faces began to blur into obscurity, voices dissolved into indistinguishable static, every step I walked felt like a weightless drift, and the days blurred into a seamless continuum. It felt like my insides had been hollowed out, and the thought of taking my own life became a relentless reverberation in my mind. I was only 18 years old and in my first year of uni, and I had to be brought back home. 
 
I still remember the freezing winter evening when UV leaked on Tumblr. I was babysitting and had just tucked the kids into bed, leaving me alone in the living room with nothing but the warmth of a crackling fire. How special it was to be able to sit in that kind of serene stillness while listening to this album for the first time.
 
My mental health nonetheless worsened and I was admitted into an inpatient mental health facility. UV was my salvation in there. At the risk of sounding parasocial, it felt as if the album was crafted just for me, particularly Black Beauty. "Darling, you can't let everything seem so dark blue." I'll never forget sitting in the art room for hours on end, creating mosaics and listening to the songs over and over. But things did get better. 
 
And here I am, 10 years later. I’m engaged, pursuing my postgrad in psychology, and on a meticulously crafted cocktail of meds lmao. And I truly am so happy now. The magnificence of the sun and the ocean blue finally make sense to me.
 
Happy 10th birthday Ultraviolence, thank you so much for being there for me. 
 
 

We need a celebration for this. 
UltraLeak with music videos and new demos <3

We need a celebration for this. 
UltraLeak with music videos and new demos <3

We need a celebration for this. 
UltraLeak with music videos and new demos <3

We need a celebration for this. 
UltraLeak with music videos and new demos <3

We need a celebration for this. 
UltraLeak with music videos and new demos <3

We need a celebration for this. 
UltraLeak with music videos and new demos <3

And her using you’ll be a woman soon on her story 
another peak song, if this is the soundscape she’s gonna start exploring we’re in for a treat 
 
making music straight for a Quentin Tarantino soundtrack, 

My favorite single ever.

Link does not work . Thank you for trying ❤️

I’m sure it has been answered before , but where can I watch this ? 

Try this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jm5sgk5I0Ak

I’m sure it has been answered before , but where can I watch this ? 

This is brilliant !!! 👏👏👏

Hi friends, I released my fourth song today, called “black tunnel.” It’s my ode to 90s alternative with a shoegaze-inspired chorus. I’d be honored if anyone wants to give it a listen or save: https://heddy.lnk.to/blacktunnel

It’s about how my mental health often causes me to isolate myself and lose touch with people, only to see them again in the grocery store or in my dreams. I am a published poet and I took my pen game really seriously and I’m so proud of how it turned out. The more personal story behind it, for anyone bored and reading this, is that I had a group of friends in high school who basically kept me around to make fun of me. I was a mega-square because my extended family experience addiction and I wanted zero chance at that kind of life, and people could be mean about that. I adopted ann ego complex I used as a shield to feel better than the people who hurt me, or important somehow. But after we lost touch, I realized I had been the punchline and that it wasn’t my fault for losing touch, because they never had my best interest at heart. The verses are the longing, regret, and isolation, and the chorus is that latent anger…
 
here’s the lyrics:
 
There’s a crystal ball inside the walls
It tells me what to do
I see the signs, divine the cards
Still can’t follow through
 
And you ask me how I’ve been
A crown of thorns, sad coronation
Maybe I’ll tell you sometime
Look out for the invitation
 
Black tunnel, I spin alone, alone
No one shows to the party
I catch the light, I treat you right 
Still I’m barely a memory
 
Stick that needle in my eye
Oh I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried
You can tell it straight to your mother
I died, I died, I died, I died
 
Sometimes what it comes down to
Is you can’t shake me, I can’t shake the blues
 
My golden dreams, vanilla cream
Are streaming through the stereo
If only I could swim right through
that astral plane out the window
 
And I ask you how you’ve been
A toothy grin, a sore performance
Maybe I’ll see you again
In shopping aisles or in the dreamcast
 
Black tunnel, I pray alone, alone
On my knees, superstition
Please catch the light, treat me right
Signed your vague apparition
 
Stick that needle in my eye
Oh I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried
You can tell it straight to your mother
I died, I died, I died, I died
 
Sometimes what it comes down to
Is you can’t shake me, I can’t shake the blues
 
Spill this vaulted heart
Full of talismans and reminiscence
I’ll stay wild of mind
Abstemious, reading Dionysus
 
Stick that needle in my eye
You can tell it straight to your mother
 
Sometimes what it comes down to
Is you can’t shake me, I can’t shake the blues