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Elle

Norman Fucking Rockwell - Pre-Release Thread

By Elle, in Retired Pre-Release Threads

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American Whore    51,090

American Whore
Posted

hey don't say that about a Lana song. Lana would never call a song like that, I find it very disrespectful that you wrote that. If I was Lana I would be very disappointed in my fans.

Oh look I offended someone when I called the “puta” stans out!!

0

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if i fuck this model and she just bleached her asshole and i get bleach on my t-shirt, imma feel like an asshole

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Paris Hilton    9,728

Paris Hilton
Posted

im getting tired of esta puta i want her to release a song asap

2

"Some days are for falling in love with people, some days for cities, and some for your time in solitude."

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American Whore    51,090

American Whore
Posted

for real, if i was Lana i wouldn't believe it. like i gave them everything and they still disrespect me this way? Norman Fucking Rockwell is canceled for you rats. you deserve adidas leggings

So you’re gonna keep calling her names that are completely uncalled for? Nice story bro

 

It’s not really the word that bothers me, it’s the fact that she LITERALLY doesn’t know you exist and you’re calling her names like you’ve personally been attacked like who hurt you sis???

1

giphy.gif

if i fuck this model and she just bleached her asshole and i get bleach on my t-shirt, imma feel like an asshole

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Gone user    5,372

Gone user
Posted

 

Guys, I came up with a very serious theory and I have to present it to you. I'm not trying to make you guys believe it's true... but it is. 

First of all we have Lana Del Rey. Or Lizzy Grant. Or Sparkle Jump Rope Queen. Or whatever name she decides to have after waking up from her 14 hours of sleep. Young artist who loves to lie, but also makes great music. She was hugely dedicated to her music career up until 2015, when she gave 0 fucks about it and forgot about tours and promotion and blablabla. She then tried to come back to her music but it wasn't the same. Her lanadelreyators are still waiting for her new album, Norman Fucking Rockwell.

 

Now, in the other hand, we have a different person: Cardi B. Young and controversial rapper that became famous in 2017 with her hit "Bodak Yellow" 

 

Now here's what I have to say: When people talk about Cardi B's past, before being famous, they say she was a stripper that gained a lot of money and liked to drug men. She debuted in 2015 with her first remix of a song called Boom Boom. See how this all makes sense? Lana Del Rey stopped giving a fuck about her career right when Cardi B, an unknown rapper, made her debut in the hip hop scene... 2015... when Lana Del Grant also implemented HIP HOP BEATS into her music (Honeymoon)... Strange... right?

Also it's very weird how Cardi B's pre-fame life sounds just a Lana Del Rey song... drugs... men... money and being a stripper (does anyone remember Tropico?)

Another thing: Cardi B isn't Cardi B's real name! She's called Belcalis Almanzar... who else is famous for having different names? That's right: Lana Del Rey. Also Cardi B sounds really tropical. Do you know who once said that she got inspired by tropical friends or whatever for her stage name? You guessed it: Lana Del Ray.

My theory (which is true by the way) is that Lana got bored of her sad music career and decided that she wanted to try something new: hip hop. It obviously would be something very shocking for everyone, so she gave us some small hip hop influences on her own album and decided to launch a new career under a different name and a different look. Why does she look so different when she's on her Cardi B costume¿ Don't ask me, ask @lanadelrey on instagram or twitter. While she was on her Cardi B journey, she discovered that hip hop made her really successful, so she tried adding more of these beats onto her next LDR album, Lust For Life, but they sounded cheap as fuck for whatever reason. Beacasue of this she decided to continue as Cardi B and leave Lana Del Rey as a side project. That's why she has released just a few songs so randomly and without any promotion. She also decided to add PROFANITY to her album title (Norman Fucking R*******), and Cardi B is kinda famous for her profanity!!!!

 

My last evidence to convince all of you is this one: have you ever seen Lana del Rey and Cardi B in the same room at the same time? I know I haven't!

I know Cardi B (aka lana del rey on disguise) will continue to pretend like she comes from the Bronx and was a stripper, but we know Lana loves to lie! (check out the Lies Lana Has Told Us Thread for proof).

I hope yall believe this truth and start considering why Lana has left us!!!!! 

 

 

i'd like to nominate this for lb twitter

my thing isn't letting me quote it idk y but i believe it was hanging froot like 1 or 2 pages back

 

 

I feel so honored thank you fellow carbi d stan

1

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CmonDownToFL    6,680

CmonDownToFL
Posted

Yo soy un ciempiés

Comprende mis 100 piernas

 

Cause I’m your worm singer

And you’re my worm leader

 

I’m slipping & sliding

I’m dragging & gliding

 

With his larvae violence

6

Truly ethereal, and it’s a huge pain in the ass

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