Hello, I'm Lana. (synchronicities)

[Beautiful Loser 48,552]

I don't really know what to say... I find it hard to believe you actually.

One question comes in my mind though: do you parents have any idea what's going on in your life?

[BBM Baby 362]

[HoneymoonSwan 3,106]

I stopped reading after like the first sentences but I basically know what happened. You fell in love with this older man, and sure thats fine! You do you sweetheart! I've talked to older men, but that doesn't mean I'm Lana. I get that you relate to Lana's songs, and I relate to them too, but letting yourself live through a song/album isn't healthy. What happens when Lana stops releasing music? You're no longer gonna have a story to follow. You need to live your life, sis. Make your own decisions. Make your own path, and don't read into Lana's songs (which most are just fictional and over exaggerated) too much. It's unhealthy, and it's all just coincidental. You're a cute girl, and you better grab onto your life before you waste it. No shade to you! If you need someone to talk to about shit, I'll always be a PM away.

[electra 20,641]

Another thing with this kind of stuff is you twist things to suit you and your life. You make the meanings of songs out of your own life. Lana probably doesn't relate to half of the specific things you've wrote, but you can twist them to suit your own life.

 

Don't mean to be grim for all the sweethearts reading this, but a song I highly identify with is I Appear Missing by QOTSA as it has themes in relation to suicide. A lot of the lines really identify with me, but probably only because I twist them in my own mind. For example:

 

"Wandering along the road in the summer night."

 

I identify because I go on night walks all the time to contemplate. Literally every day or two. Does the artist probably do this like me? Probably not.

 

"I go missing, no longer exist, one day, id hope, im someone you'd miss."

 

I have relationships in the past that I hope they feel so strongly about me that if I were to disappear, they'd feel sad. In the song this could mean a lot of things, estrangement or death, depending on how you look at it.

 

Etc. See how easy it is to morph a song lyric meaning? Please don't unhealthily identify with artists when you don't know their lives and they don't know yours.

[MahaMaha 1,111]

Life imitates art

[fl0ridakil0s 3,959]

what happened? 

[Platinum Greenwich 13,837]

what did i miss

[Beautiful Loser 48,552]

what happened? 

 

what did i miss

 

Girl interpreted her previous relationships with a 35+ year old guy and local druggie as Lana songs and felt like she lived just like Lana's songs. Like, literally. And missed these guys so much her life was just like Ultraviolence (album) but her lust for life came back just before the new album name was released. So she claims to be living like the "real" Lana (which, honestly, isn't that good even though we love her songs (and I think most of us understand that her lyrics are exaggerated)).

End of story.

[bigspender 8,363]

Girl interpreted her previous relationships with a 35+ year old guy and local druggie as Lana songs and felt like she lived just like Lana's songs. Like, literally. And missed these guys so much her life was just like Ultraviolence (album) but her lust for life came back just before the new album name was released. So she claims to be living like the "real" Lana (which, honestly, isn't that good even though we love her songs (and I think most of us understand that her lyrics are exaggerated)).

End of story.

I missed this???? never leaving LB again.....

[alienprincess 1,972]

ImTragic is truly an inspiration  saved the lanaboards, honestly 

[Stargirl 13,351]

My name is Lana Del Rey. I'm the actual Lana, or at least, that's how it feels sometimes. Watching Elizabeth Grant perform my life and my legends through celluloid and spotlights brings a new perspective to the world and the name that I once made for myself. Now that I'm no longer, the biographical nature of her career allows me to live synchronously and vicariously, and I am alive again.

 

It all started when I was born. I don't remember being born, although I suppose that no one really does anyway. But while most people don't remember being born because they're babies and they haven't developed a working memory, I can't remember a thing because I was so drunk and high. I was living on the edge from the moment I saw the light of day, and I knew that those cocaine dreams and speed lights were all I'd ever see when I closed my eyes at night. I sang myself lullabies of life on the road and Pabst Blue Ribbon before I could even speak. Don't ask how I could do this-- I was always an unusual girl. 

 

When I was 16 years old my momma sent me to boarding school. It was there that I subsisted off of a diet of sparkling vodka and angel food cake sprinkled with cocaine. Instead of going to class, I spent my days at the plastic surgeon fucking with my lips snorting cocaine off of the receptionists desk at a plastic surgery clinic because my dealer was a practicing MD who wanted to live life larger than what even a doctor's salary could provide. 

 

After High School, I attended Fordham University and studied Metaphysics. My thesis was titled "Issues of the Daddy: How Boldly Empowered Women Fall into the Arms of Weak Men". Within the body of my paper was just the word "money". The footnotes were twenty pages long of my favorite Jim Morrison lyrics. 

 

Then I took on a life on the open road, riding on the backs of the motorcycles of men who haven't seen a shower for years and sleeping under arcade machines. When I wasn't living wild and free, I was marrying Kennedy's and staring vacantly at parlors of people. I once did a gig in Vegas that a buddy of mine found where I would lie on the ground and look like I was dead until someone put a quarter in the jukebox. Then, I'd come alive again, and promptly fall to the ground as soon as the music stopped rolling. In this way, I was cinematic, animatronic, hypnotic, before cinema even took shape in our world, my world, a world that is simultaneously vintage and before its time. 

 

After dying about twelve times and only being impregnated with God's child about four, I started going on tours through the Hollywood Hills and sneaking into the homes of the wealthy so I could wear their diamonds and pearls and snort all their cocaine while they weren't home. Occasionally, I'd fuck some husbands, but usually it'd be the elderly don who sat by the fire in everyone's home. Sometimes I wondered why every single Hollywood mansion had the same old man sitting in front of an identical fireplace, but then I thought to myself, "Well, it is Hollyweird, after all." I then snorted more coke. 

 

But things got precarious for me. The government started to question my exploits, and how I've simultaneously been every first lady and occasionally the president for so many years of America's history. They theorized that I might be as old as America herself, or in fact, Lady Liberty in a grand disguise. I tried throwing money at the agents when they came to my door, and I even had sex with two of them. It was no use. I had to hide somewhere more grand. 

 

I moved into the Hollywood sign. Don't ask me how I did it, or how I fit. I know that I was fatter in those Honeymoon days, but those days are over and I eat raw, organic coke now and I'm also gluten free. My Summer home is within the core of the moon, our glorious planetary body, donned with America's grand old flag. My goal is to one day establish a society on the moon where beautiful young people can flourish and thrive. But until then, I'm going to get back to my reading. I'm currently carving through "A Dictionary of Modern Slang", and I'll be "with it" in no time at all. 

 

But be warned. I am always keeping a watchful eye from within my mansion. The last time a little gay tried to leak my music, I gave him a ticket to the moon as accompanied by me. A one-way trip, in fact. 

 

Until tomorrow, if it ever comes 

x (the Real) Lana 

[cherriesinthespring 5,486]

You seem even more grounded than that other "I'm lana" chick ....

[TROPICUM 6,407]

the other one was so cringey i couldn't even finished reading it. 

[salvatore 21,769]

was the 23 minutes spent writing this worth your time... im deceased i had to read this filth with my own two eyes

 

 

jk was worth 

[Stargirl 13,351]

was the 23 minutes spent writing this worth your time... im deceased i had to read this filth with my own two eyes

 

 

jk was worth 

I am so upset that you would find my personal, legitimate life to be but a joke in your foolish mortal eyes 

Someone ban ha ! 

 

although I think it literally took 5 minutes I didn't even proofread it adskjfasdfjklwerla

[sparklrtrailrheaven 9,026]

I'M SCREAMING HAHFDHKJKK

 

[Beautiful Loser 48,552]

I LOVE THIS!!! xD

[Cashew 1,823]

My thesis was titled "Issues of the Daddy: How Boldly Empowered Women Fall into the Arms of Weak Men". Within the body of my paper was just the word "money". The footnotes were twenty pages long of my favorite Jim Morrison lyrics. 

[Lotus 483]

When I was sixteen years old my momma sent me to boarding school. It was there that I subsisted off of a diet of sparkling vodka and angel food cake sprinkled with cocaine.

This is going to be my new profile quote. This topic is hilarious, though. 

[Flowerbomb 65,591]

most people don't remember being born because they're babies and they haven't developed a working memory, I can't remember a thing because I was so drunk and high.

CONFIRMED Lana was a crack baby.