Never to Heaven

[Elle 121,278]

Written Version

May my eyes always stay level to the horizon

May they never gaze as high as heaven

To ask why

May I never go where angels fear to tread

So as to have to ask for answers in the sky

The whys in this lifetime i've found are inconsequential

Compared to the magic of the nowness- the solution to most

questions

There are no reasons.

and if there are- I'm wrong

But at least I won't have spent my life waiting

Looking for God in the clouds of the dawn

or listening out for otherwordly contact

30 billion light years on

No. I'll let the others do the pondering

While i'll be sitting on the lawn

Readin something unsubstantial

With the television on

I'll be up early to rise though of course-

But only to make you a pot of coffee

That's what i was thinking this morning Joe

That it's times like this as the marine layer lifts

Off the sea from the view of our favorite restaurant

That i pray that I may

Always keep my eyes level to your eyeline

Never downcast at the table cloth

Yes Joe

It's times like this that the marine layer lifts

Off the sea on the dock with the candle lit

That I think to myself

There are things you still don't know about me

Like sometimes i'm afraid my sadness is too big

and that one day you might have to help me handle it

 

But until then

May I always keep my eyes level to this skyline

Assessing the glittering new development

Off of the coast of Long Beach

Never to heaven or revenant

Because I have faith in man as strange as that seems

In times like these

and it's not just because of the warmth I've found in your

Brown eyes

But because i believe in the goodness in me

That it's firm enough to plant a flag in

or a

Rosebud

or to build a new life.

 

 

---

 

 

Spoken Word Version

Never to Heaven - September 23rd, 2018

 

May my eyes always stay level to the horizon

May they never gaze as high as heaven

To ask why

May I never go where angels fear to tread

So as to have to ask for answers in the sky

The whys in this lifetime i've found are inconsequential

Compared to the magic of the nowness- the solution to most

questions

There are no reasons.

and if there are- I'm wrong

But at least I won't have spent my life waiting

Looking for God in the clouds of the dawn

I'll be up early to rise though of course-

But only to make you a pot of coffee

That's what i was thinking this morning Joe

That it's times like this as the marine layer lifts

Off the sea from the view of our favorite restaurant

That I pray that I may

Always keep my eyes level to your eyeline

Never downcast at the table cloth

You see, Joe

It's times like this that the marine layer lifts

Off the sea on the dock with our candle lit

That I think to myself

There are things that you still don't know about me

Like sometimes i'm afraid my sadness is too big

and that one day you might have to help me handle it

 

But until then

May my eyes always stay level to this skyline

Assessing Long Beach's glittering new development

Never taller than the highest building

Never to heaven or revenant

Because I have faith in man as strange as that seems

In times like these

and it's not just because of the warmth I've found in your

Brown eyes

It's because i believe in the goodness in me

That it's firm enough to plant a flag in

or a

Rosebud

or to build a new life.

 

 

 

Edited July 28, 2020 by Elle
updated with the spoken word version x

[evilentity 13,343]

This reads as disillusionment with her interest in metaphysics. Disillusionment with the futility of it.

[urgirl 5,747]

This reads as disillusionment with her interest in metaphysics. Disillusionment with the futility of it.

 

I agree, disillusioned with both the futility of it and the depression it brings. 

 

this poem is the opposite of pawn shop blues

"its nice to love and be loved but its better to know what God knows/to know all you can know"

Here, she's saying the exact opposite.. this is really interesting imo

[maxthehitman 1,729]

I liked this poem   

[American Whore 51,311]

The name is weird, considering it's the opposite to Yes To Heaven

[takeitdoen 10,627]

The recorded version has a snips. It cuts from:

 

Looking for God in the clouds of the dawn

. . . (to here)

I'll be up early to rise though of course-

But only to make you a pot of coffee

That's what i was thinking this morning Joe

 

 

and just a few tweeks:

 

Never downcast at the table cloth

You see Joe

It's times like this that the marine layer lifts

 

and at the end

 

But until then

May I always keep my eyes level to this skyline

Assessing Long Beach's glittering new development

Never higher than the tallest building,

Never to heaven or revenant . . 

 

and the start she gives the date:

"Never to Heaven - September 23rd, 2018"

[MargaretThatcher 1,331]

The Rosebud reference is a reference to Citizen Kane;

 

Charles Foster Kane's innocence was taken when he was sent away...

 

.... Similar to how Lana was sent away as a kid

[DLT 7,592]

This wasn’t one of my favorites but the line where she referenced things Joe doesn’t know and how large her sadness is really hits for me. It may not be one of my fave of the poems themselves but that is one of my fave lines.

[Venice 6,933]

I love this poem so much. I've struggled with religion a lot in my life as it came between my relationship with my mom after her marriage to a religious (at the time) man, and our stances and outlooks on life couldn't compromise. It's still an uncomfortable topic for me and so being able to listen to a poem like this where I interpreted it in the way that I did and still feel so serene... it just read to me so beautifully.

 

Particularly, the lines:

 

May I never go where angels fear to tread
So as to have to ask for answers in the sky

 

But at least I won't have spent my life waiting

Looking for God in the clouds of the dawn

 

As an agnostic person... jfgnjdkgjdkng I just feel understood, I don't know. And I absolutely loved the confidence with which she said: 
because I believe in the goodness in me

 

Because I do too. Sighhh. I just lovvvve.   

I'm fascinated with the way that she thinks. I hope when I'm older too that I come to terms with a lot of these things. I'm so happy she did this. All of these poems offer something special, a little haven.

[Sunset Opal 4,319]

Still one of the best 

I highly recommend listening to that in the park 

[Honeytrails 2,574]

cute throwback since yes to heaven got officially released! she really has always liked that song 

[candyperfumegirl 60]

I love this poem. I have a copy of VBBOTG  

[aurorae 0]

wait does anyone know what the writing is next to the first 6 lines in the book? I can’t seem to read it and I can’t seem to find it anywhere

[urgirl 5,747]

On 10/3/2023 at 6:44 PM, aurorae said:

wait does anyone know what the writing is next to the first 6 lines in the book? I can’t seem to read it and I can’t seem to find it anywhere

The handwriting reads “May I never go where angels fear to tread - so as to have to ask to make me look for answers in the sky”

[duemyeu 10]

On 7/28/2020 at 12:22 AM, MargaretThatcher said:

.... Similar to how Lana was sent away as a kid

The story of Lana being sent to boarding school?

[duemyeu 10]

On 7/29/2020 at 7:35 AM, Venice said:

As an agnostic person

Do you mean "i know that i know nothing" - Socrates