Deleted Member 23,728 Posted February 10, 2023 16 minutes ago, Mer said: "πππππππππππππ" ππππ ππ’ πΈ0π·πΊ πππππ πππ πππππππ π πππππ ππππ ππ ππππππ πππ πππππππππ ππ ππππππ π’ππππ. πΌπππ’ ππππππ ππππ πππππππ πππ πππππ πππππ ππ ππππππππππ£πππ πππππ πππ πππ‘ππ πππππππππππππ. π·ππ ππππ, ππΒ π ππππππ π πππ ππππππ πππππ, πΈ ππππππππ’ ππππππππ π πππ πππππ πππππππππππ πππ πππππππ ππππ πΈ ππ πππ ππ πππ ππππ ππππππππ πππ ππππππππππ πππππ ππππππ ππ πππ ππππ. Β πΈπ'π πππππππππ ππ ππππππππππ πππ ππππππππππ ππππππ "πππππππππππππ." πππ ππππ ππ π ππππππ ππππ ππππππ ππππ πππ ππππππ ππππ ππ ππππ πππ ππππππ. πΈππ ππ’ππππ ππππππ π πππ‘ππ ππππππππππππ, πππ πππππππ ππ πππππππππππ ππ, ππππ’ πππππ ππ π ππππππππππ’ ππππ. ππππ’ πππππππππ πππ πππππππ‘πππππ πππ ππππ ππ ππππ, π ππππππ πππππππππ πππππ πππ πππππ ππ πππππππππ’ πππππππππππππ. πΎππ ππ πππ ππππ ππππππππππ ππππππ πππππ "πππππππππππππ" ππ πππ ππππππππππ’. πΌπ’ ππππππππ πππππ πππ πππππππππππ ππππππππππ ππππππ π ππππππππππππ ππππ ππππ'π ππππ πππππππππππ πππ πππππππ. πππ ππππππ’ ππ ππππππππππππ πππ πππ πππ πππππ, ππππ πππ πππ ππππππππ ππ πππ πππππππππππ πππ πππππππππ ππππππ ππ πππ ππ’ππππ. πππ ππππππ ππ π ππππππππ£πππ πππππππππ ππ‘ππππππππ ππππ'π ππππππ ππ ππππππππππππ’ πππππ. Β π°πππππππππππ’, ππ’ ππππ π ππππππ ππππππ πππ ππ ππππ πππππππ’ ππ "πππππππππππππ." My ππ’ππππ πππ πππππππππ’ πππππππ ππ ππππππ’ π ππππππππ πππππππ, πππ ππππ’ πππππππ ππ πππππ ππ ππ π π ππ’ ππππ'π ππππ πππππππππ πππ πππππππππ. I ππππΒ πππππ π πππ‘ππ ππππππππππππ π πππ πππ πππππππ’, πππππππππ πππ πππππππππ πππ ππππ ππππ πππππ πππππππππ’ ππππ πππππππππππππ. Β πΈπ'π π ππππ ππππππππππ ππππ πππ πππππππππππ’ πππππππππππ "πππππππππππππ" ππ ππππ ππ π πππππππ ππππππππ ππππππππππππ πππππ πππ ππππ ππ π ππππ ππ πππππππ πππππ. ππππ ππππππ ππππ πππππππππ ππππ ππ’ πππππ πππ πππππ πππ πππππππππππππ’ πππππππππππ, πππ ππππ πππ πππππππππππ’ πππππππππππ ππ’ π πππ ππ ππ πππππππ ππ πππππππ π ππππππ ππππππ πππππ. ππππ ππ π ππππ ππ πππππππππππ, πππ ππ πππππ ππ ππππππππ£π πππ πππππ πππππππ ππππ πΈ ππ πππ’πππ ππ πππππππππππ πππππππ my πππππ. Β πΈπ ππππππππππ, "πππππππππππππ" ππ π πππ πππππ πππ πππππππ-πππππππππ ππππ ππππ ππππππππ ππ ππ ππππππππ£ππ πππ πππ πππππππ πππ ππ’πππππ ππππππππππ. πππ πππππππππππ ππππ ππ ππππππππππ£ππ πππππ πππ πππ‘ππ πππππππππππππ πππ πππππππππ, πππ ππππ’ ππππππππ πππ ππππππ‘π πππ ππππππππππππ ππ πππ ππ’ππππ. "πππππππππππππ" ππ π ππππππππππ’ ππ πππ πππππππ‘πππππ πππ πππππππ ππ ππππ, πππ ππ ππππ πππππ ππ’ πππππππ ππ π ππππππ πππ πππππ πππππ. Β πΌπ’ π·0ππ ππππππ πππππ, ππππππ "πππ πΎππππ πΆπππππ πππππππ πππ ππ π ππππ πΈ πππππππππ πππππ" π πππ ππ πππ π°πππππ π·πΏππ. i didnβt realize there was a typewriter font on hereβ¦ oh i am about to abuse this so much 7 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Siren 30,521 Posted February 10, 2023 1 hour ago, Mer said: "πππππππππππππ" ππππ ππ’ πΈ0π·πΊ πππππ πππ πππππππ π πππππ ππππ ππ ππππππ πππ πππππππππ ππ ππππππ π’ππππ. πΌπππ’ ππππππ ππππ πππππππ πππ πππππ πππππ ππ ππππππππππ£πππ πππππ πππ πππ‘ππ πππππππππππππ. π·ππ ππππ, ππΒ π ππππππ π πππ ππππππ πππππ, πΈ ππππππππ’ ππππππππ π πππ πππππ πππππππππππ πππ πππππππ ππππ πΈ ππ πππ ππ πππ ππππ ππππππππ πππ ππππππππππ πππππ ππππππ ππ πππ ππππ. Β πΈπ'π πππππππππ ππ ππππππππππ πππ ππππππππππ ππππππ "πππππππππππππ." πππ ππππ ππ π ππππππ ππππ ππππππ ππππ πππ ππππππ ππππ ππ ππππ πππ ππππππ. πΈππ ππ’ππππ ππππππ π πππ‘ππ ππππππππππππ, πππ πππππππ ππ πππππππππππ ππ, ππππ’ πππππ ππ π ππππππππππ’ ππππ. ππππ’ πππππππππ πππ πππππππ‘πππππ πππ ππππ ππ ππππ, π ππππππ πππππππππ πππππ πππ πππππ ππ πππππππππ’ πππππππππππππ. πΎππ ππ πππ ππππ ππππππππππ ππππππ πππππ "πππππππππππππ" ππ πππ ππππππππππ’. πΌπ’ ππππππππ πππππ πππ πππππππππππ ππππππππππ ππππππ π ππππππππππππ ππππ ππππ'π ππππ πππππππππππ πππ πππππππ. πππ ππππππ’ ππ ππππππππππππ πππ πππ πππ πππππ, ππππ πππ πππ ππππππππ ππ πππ πππππππππππ πππ πππππππππ ππππππ ππ πππ ππ’ππππ. πππ ππππππ ππ π ππππππππ£πππ πππππππππ ππ‘ππππππππ ππππ'π ππππππ ππ ππππππππππππ’ πππππ. Β π°πππππππππππ’, ππ’ ππππ π ππππππ ππππππ πππ ππ ππππ πππππππ’ ππ "πππππππππππππ." My ππ’ππππ πππ πππππππππ’ πππππππ ππ ππππππ’ π ππππππππ πππππππ, πππ ππππ’ πππππππ ππ πππππ ππ ππ π π ππ’ ππππ'π ππππ πππππππππ πππ πππππππππ. I ππππΒ πππππ π πππ‘ππ ππππππππππππ π πππ πππ πππππππ’, πππππππππ πππ πππππππππ πππ ππππ ππππ πππππ πππππππππ’ ππππ πππππππππππππ. Β πΈπ'π π ππππ ππππππππππ ππππ πππ πππππππππππ’ πππππππππππ "πππππππππππππ" ππ ππππ ππ π πππππππ ππππππππ ππππππππππππ πππππ πππ ππππ ππ π ππππ ππ πππππππ πππππ. ππππ ππππππ ππππ πππππππππ ππππ ππ’ πππππ πππ πππππ πππ πππππππππππππ’ πππππππππππ, πππ ππππ πππ πππππππππππ’ πππππππππππ ππ’ π πππ ππ ππ πππππππ ππ πππππππ π ππππππ ππππππ πππππ. ππππ ππ π ππππ ππ πππππππππππ, πππ ππ πππππ ππ ππππππππ£π πππ πππππ πππππππ ππππ πΈ ππ πππ’πππ ππ πππππππππππ πππππππ my πππππ. Β πΈπ ππππππππππ, "πππππππππππππ" ππ π πππ πππππ πππ πππππππ-πππππππππ ππππ ππππ ππππππππ ππ ππ ππππππππ£ππ πππ πππ πππππππ πππ ππ’πππππ ππππππππππ. πππ πππππππππππ ππππ ππ ππππππππππ£ππ πππππ πππ πππ‘ππ πππππππππππππ πππ πππππππππ, πππ ππππ’ ππππππππ πππ ππππππ‘π πππ ππππππππππππ ππ πππ ππ’ππππ. "πππππππππππππ" ππ π ππππππππππ’ ππ πππ πππππππ‘πππππ πππ πππππππ ππ ππππ, πππ ππ ππππ πππππ ππ’ πππππππ ππ π ππππππ πππ πππππ πππππ. Β πΌπ’ π·0ππ ππππππ πππππ, ππππππ "πππ πΎππππ πΆπππππ πππππππ πππ ππ π ππππ πΈ πππππππππ πππππ" π πππ ππ πππ π°πππππ π·πΏππ. Β okay yall lets not poke fun at the OP 0 Quote Last.FMΒ |Β DiscogsΒ |Β JOYRIDE Β Β Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kraljicabenzinske 11,254 Posted February 10, 2023 i'm an english graduate so imma give you a few pointers on academic writing (i can't sleep and got nothing better to do) i'm writing this to genuinely help you with your course, not to make fun of you or anything 58 minutes ago, hehitmeanditfeltlikeakis said: Β Many people have accused the title track who? name a media outlet or a critic who has accused the title track; if your essay is based on opposing these allegations, you must be more clear on who has made these allegations and for which reason. "many people" doesn't tell the reader anything. you need specific examples (which is the reoccurring issue in the essay) 1 hour ago, hehitmeanditfeltlikeakis said: However, as a music critic and a person with common sense absolutely not. your argument in an essay cannot be that you have common sense. delete. your viewpoint needs to be supported by factual arguments and evidence, it can't be "just trust me bro" 1 hour ago, hehitmeanditfeltlikeakis said: It's essential to understand the background behind "Ultraviolence." i love how you say this and then proceed to provide no background for the song at all the background would provide us with info about the era of her career and the topics she dealt with at that time of the song release, other related media such as the song's music video and other songs from the album and her opus that are correlated to lana's songwriting in Ultraviolence, and then more specific who is she singing about in the song etc. 1 hour ago, hehitmeanditfeltlikeakis said: Β Its lyrics depict a toxic relationship, but instead of celebrating it, they serve as a cautionary tale. They highlight the complexities and pain of love, warning listeners about the risks of unhealthy relationships. you cannot analyze a lyrics and not provide any examples. You should have copied a few lines and said "in this line it's evident that she' talking about this and that." you need to imagine that this is going to be read by someone who never heard the song so all this would mean nothing to an average reader (and that's one of the important aspects of academic writing when it comes to topics like this - you always have to assume the reader does not know anything about the matter, in other words, you need to spell everything out and be as specific as possible) . For example, Lana Del Rey opens the song by saying that her lover used to call her a deadly nightshade. This implies this and that (and in this part you argue how this line supports you view)... I know this sound very dumbed-down, but this is an academic way of presenting information. evidence (example) spelled out + analysis the part with "they serve as a cautionary tale" is very interesting and i wish you actually showed us how exactly and in which lines is the song a cautionary tale. that would have been an amazing argument, i love the expression cautionary tale, great job with that 1 hour ago, hehitmeanditfeltlikeakis said: Β Her lyrics are carefully crafted to convey a specific message Β the vital message that Lana is trying to communicate through her music. Β girl what is the message? you mention it twice and you're defending the message without even telling us what is the message of the song Β 1 hour ago, hehitmeanditfeltlikeakis said: Β The allegations that it romanticizes abuse and toxic relationships are misguided, and they overlook the context and significance of the lyrics you could have gone so much deeper into explaining how does the song not romanticize abuse and toxic relationships. even to me it's unclear how exactly how argued that it does not. because you basically expressed you general opinion and the feeling you get when you listen to the song, but you didn't make any strong arguments. in which part of the song or in which line can we see that Lana's not romanticizing abuse? How can you prove that she's singing from a perspective of someone who's aware of the danger of toxic love and not from the perspective of someone who's lost in it or enjoying it? 1 hour ago, hehitmeanditfeltlikeakis said: Β and it showcases Lana's talents as a singer and songwriter. no shade to lana, but how? again, you need to prove this. how does the lyrical style show her talent? what lyrical devices did she use? what words or lines can be felt strongly by the listener and why? what about storytelling? Β in conclusion, you have a great way with words and it all looks nice. I have zero notes for the language and writing style, A+Β for that. however, the content is an issue. you need to be so much more specific. provide examples, have clear arguments, go into depth and take us there. your essay is very very general, very subjective, and it doesn't say too much of something specific and it doesn't really help the reader learn something new or make him/her think about the topic 12 Quote Β *:ο½₯οΎβ§*:ο½₯οΎβ§βΏβπ¦π² π π¨π¨ππ’π§ππ¬π¬ π’π¬ π¦π² π©π¨πππ«π²ββΏβ§ο½₯οΎ: *β§ο½₯οΎ:* Β *:ο½₯οΎβ§*:ο½₯οΎβ§βΏβπ¦π² π¬π’π₯π₯π’π§ππ¬π¬ π’π¬ π¦π² π₯ππ πππ²ββΏβ§ο½₯οΎ: *β§ο½₯οΎ:* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anwdelrey 9,270 Posted February 10, 2023 βAs a music critic and a person with common senseβ KDJDJKSDJFR 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anwdelrey 9,270 Posted February 10, 2023 7 minutes ago, kraljicabenzinske said: i'm an english graduate so imma give you a few pointers on academic writing (i can't sleep and got nothing better to do) i'm writing this to genuinely help you with your course, not to make fun of you or anything who? name a media outlet or a critic who has accused the title track; if your essay is based on opposing these allegations, you must be more clear on who has made these allegations and for which reason. "many people" doesn't tell the reader anything. you need specific examples (which is the reoccurring issue in the essay) absolutely not. your argument in an essay cannot be that you have common sense. delete. your viewpoint needs to be supported by factual arguments and evidence, it can't be "just trust me bro" i love how you say this and then proceed to provide no background for the song at all the background would provide us with info about the era of her career and the topics she dealt with at that time of the song release, other related media such as the song's music video and other songs from the album and her opus that are correlated to lana's songwriting in Ultraviolence, and then more specific who is she singing about in the song etc. you cannot analyze a lyrics and not provide any examples. You should have copied a few lines and said "in this line it's evident that she' talking about this and that." you need to imagine that this is going to be read by someone who never heard the song so all this would mean nothing to an average reader (and that's one of the important aspects of academic writing when it comes to topics like this - you always have to assume the reader does not know anything about the matter, in other words, you need to spell everything out and be as specific as possible) . For example, Lana Del Rey opens the song by saying that her lover used to call her a deadly nightshade. This implies this and that (and in this part you argue how this line supports you view)... I know this sound very dumbed-down, but this is an academic way of presenting information. evidence (example) spelled out + analysis the part with "they serve as a cautionary tale" is very interesting and i wish you actually showed us how exactly and in which lines is the song a cautionary tale. that would have been an amazing argument, i love the expression cautionary tale, great job with that girl what is the message? you mention it twice and you're defending the message without even telling us what is the message of the song Β you could have gone so much deeper into explaining how does the song not romanticize abuse and toxic relationships. even to me it's unclear how exactly how argued that it does not. because you basically expressed you general opinion and the feeling you get when you listen to the song, but you didn't make any strong arguments. in which part of the song or in which line can we see that Lana's not romanticizing abuse? How can you prove that she's singing from a perspective of someone who's aware of the danger of toxic love and not from the perspective of someone who's lost in it or enjoying it? no shade to lana, but how? again, you need to prove this. how does the lyrical style show her talent? what lyrical devices did she use? what words or lines can be felt strongly by the listener and why? what about storytelling? Β in conclusion, you have a great way with words and it all looks nice. I have zero notes for the language and writing style, A+Β for that. however, the content is an issue. you need to be so much more specific. provide examples, have clear arguments, go into depth and take us there. your essay is very very general, very subjective, and it doesn't say too much of something specific and it doesn't really help the reader learn something new or make him/her think about the topic Oh youβre sick. Iβm actually laughing yβall are so mean. 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kraljicabenzinske 11,254 Posted February 10, 2023 4 minutes ago, anwdelrey said: Oh youβre sick. Iβm actually laughing yβall are so mean. no but i'm genuinely trying to help and give him advice on how to improve the article from academic point of viewΒ i've been doing academic writing for 5 years now and that's how I'd improve it based on my experience and knowledge Β 7 Quote Β *:ο½₯οΎβ§*:ο½₯οΎβ§βΏβπ¦π² π π¨π¨ππ’π§ππ¬π¬ π’π¬ π¦π² π©π¨πππ«π²ββΏβ§ο½₯οΎ: *β§ο½₯οΎ:* Β *:ο½₯οΎβ§*:ο½₯οΎβ§βΏβπ¦π² π¬π’π₯π₯π’π§ππ¬π¬ π’π¬ π¦π² π₯ππ πππ²ββΏβ§ο½₯οΎ: *β§ο½₯οΎ:* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rust Dress 40,200 Posted February 10, 2023 alright i went ahead and movedΒ the thread to the random lana discussion thread. letβs be nice everyone!Β 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deleted Member 23,728 Posted February 10, 2023 49 minutes ago, kraljicabenzinske said: i'm an english graduate so imma give you a few pointers on academic writing (i can't sleep and got nothing better to do) i'm writing this to genuinely help you with your course, not to make fun of you or anything who? name a media outlet or a critic who has accused the title track; if your essay is based on opposing these allegations, you must be more clear on who has made these allegations and for which reason. "many people" doesn't tell the reader anything. you need specific examples (which is the reoccurring issue in the essay) absolutely not. your argument in an essay cannot be that you have common sense. delete. your viewpoint needs to be supported by factual arguments and evidence, it can't be "just trust me bro" i love how you say this and then proceed to provide no background for the song at all the background would provide us with info about the era of her career and the topics she dealt with at that time of the song release, other related media such as the song's music video and other songs from the album and her opus that are correlated to lana's songwriting in Ultraviolence, and then more specific who is she singing about in the song etc. you cannot analyze a lyrics and not provide any examples. You should have copied a few lines and said "in this line it's evident that she' talking about this and that." you need to imagine that this is going to be read by someone who never heard the song so all this would mean nothing to an average reader (and that's one of the important aspects of academic writing when it comes to topics like this - you always have to assume the reader does not know anything about the matter, in other words, you need to spell everything out and be as specific as possible) . For example, Lana Del Rey opens the song by saying that her lover used to call her a deadly nightshade. This implies this and that (and in this part you argue how this line supports you view)... I know this sound very dumbed-down, but this is an academic way of presenting information. evidence (example) spelled out + analysis the part with "they serve as a cautionary tale" is very interesting and i wish you actually showed us how exactly and in which lines is the song a cautionary tale. that would have been an amazing argument, i love the expression cautionary tale, great job with that girl what is the message? you mention it twice and you're defending the message without even telling us what is the message of the song Β you could have gone so much deeper into explaining how does the song not romanticize abuse and toxic relationships. even to me it's unclear how exactly how argued that it does not. because you basically expressed you general opinion and the feeling you get when you listen to the song, but you didn't make any strong arguments. in which part of the song or in which line can we see that Lana's not romanticizing abuse? How can you prove that she's singing from a perspective of someone who's aware of the danger of toxic love and not from the perspective of someone who's lost in it or enjoying it? no shade to lana, but how? again, you need to prove this. how does the lyrical style show her talent? what lyrical devices did she use? what words or lines can be felt strongly by the listener and why? what about storytelling? Β in conclusion, you have a great way with words and it all looks nice. I have zero notes for the language and writing style, A+Β for that. however, the content is an issue. you need to be so much more specific. provide examples, have clear arguments, go into depth and take us there. your essay is very very general, very subjective, and it doesn't say too much of something specific and it doesn't really help the reader learn something new or make him/her think about the topic IM ROTF πππππ 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Psychedelic Pussy 30,107 Posted February 10, 2023 3 minutes ago, cinnamongirI said: alright i went ahead and movedΒ the thread to the random lana discussion thread. letβs be nice everyone!Β Β I- the random lana discussion thread has a new title now LMAO 0 Quote Β Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rust Dress 40,200 Posted February 10, 2023 1 minute ago, Psychedelic Pussy said: Β I- the random lana discussion thread has a new title now LMAO ugh i knowΒ Β Hold on one sec okay there we go.. not doing that again 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CinnamonOnMyTeeth 1,818 Posted February 10, 2023 weβre on page 666β¦Β 1 Quote Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β "πΉπππ π»πππππ ππ, ππΎππ ππ½π ππππππ πππΉππ ππΈππΆπ π·πππΉ" Β Β instagram Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mer 61,735 Posted February 10, 2023 49 minutes ago, kraljicabenzinske said: no but i'm genuinely trying to help and give him advice on how to improve the article from academic point of viewΒ i've been doing academic writing for 5 years now and that's how I'd improve it based on my experience and knowledge Β honestly I didnβt major in English but everything you said was on point. Thatβs why I asked if it was for a college course. It didnβt go deep enough in itsΒ analysis. Also the thesis was weak in my opinion. The intro βparagraphβ did not make the crux of the argument explicitly clear and detailed, which is why the body also suffered from vagueness.Β 3 Quote βΉ (:Μ²Μ :Μ²Μ :Μ²Μ [Μ²Μ :β‘:]Μ²Μ :Μ²Μ :Μ²Μ :Μ²Μ ) βΉΒ πΒ I took the miracle move on drugΒ π βοΈΒ The effects were temporaryΒ βοΈ βΉ (:Μ²Μ :Μ²Μ :Μ²Μ [Μ²Μ :β‘:]Μ²Μ :Μ²Μ :Μ²Μ :Μ²Μ ) βΉΒ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GPSOTSOMFWHDSF 1,055 Posted February 10, 2023 5 minutes ago, terrencelovesy0u said: weβre on page 666β¦Β Β It's time to summon Asmodeous.Β 2 Quote Now that Doja Cat, Ariana, Camila, Cardi B, Kehlani and Nicki Minaj and Beyonce have had number ones with songs about being sexy, wearing no clothes, fucking, cheating etc - can I please go back to singing about being embodied, feeling beautiful by being in love even if the relationship is not perfect, or dancing for money - or whatever I want - without being crucified or saying I'm glamorizing abuse?????? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blossom 8,976 Posted February 10, 2023 2 hours ago, kraljicabenzinske said: i'm an english graduate so imma give you a few pointers on academic writing (i can't sleep and got nothing better to do) i'm writing this to genuinely help you with your course, not to make fun of you or anything who? name a media outlet or a critic who has accused the title track; if your essay is based on opposing these allegations, you must be more clear on who has made these allegations and for which reason. "many people" doesn't tell the reader anything. you need specific examples (which is the reoccurring issue in the essay) absolutely not. your argument in an essay cannot be that you have common sense. delete. your viewpoint needs to be supported by factual arguments and evidence, it can't be "just trust me bro" i love how you say this and then proceed to provide no background for the song at all the background would provide us with info about the era of her career and the topics she dealt with at that time of the song release, other related media such as the song's music video and other songs from the album and her opus that are correlated to lana's songwriting in Ultraviolence, and then more specific who is she singing about in the song etc. you cannot analyze a lyrics and not provide any examples. You should have copied a few lines and said "in this line it's evident that she' talking about this and that." you need to imagine that this is going to be read by someone who never heard the song so all this would mean nothing to an average reader (and that's one of the important aspects of academic writing when it comes to topics like this - you always have to assume the reader does not know anything about the matter, in other words, you need to spell everything out and be as specific as possible) . For example, Lana Del Rey opens the song by saying that her lover used to call her a deadly nightshade. This implies this and that (and in this part you argue how this line supports you view)... I know this sound very dumbed-down, but this is an academic way of presenting information. evidence (example) spelled out + analysis the part with "they serve as a cautionary tale" is very interesting and i wish you actually showed us how exactly and in which lines is the song a cautionary tale. that would have been an amazing argument, i love the expression cautionary tale, great job with that girl what is the message? you mention it twice and you're defending the message without even telling us what is the message of the song Β you could have gone so much deeper into explaining how does the song not romanticize abuse and toxic relationships. even to me it's unclear how exactly how argued that it does not. because you basically expressed you general opinion and the feeling you get when you listen to the song, but you didn't make any strong arguments. in which part of the song or in which line can we see that Lana's not romanticizing abuse? How can you prove that she's singing from a perspective of someone who's aware of the danger of toxic love and not from the perspective of someone who's lost in it or enjoying it? no shade to lana, but how? again, you need to prove this. how does the lyrical style show her talent? what lyrical devices did she use? what words or lines can be felt strongly by the listener and why? what about storytelling? Β in conclusion, you have a great way with words and it all looks nice. I have zero notes for the language and writing style, A+Β for that. however, the content is an issue. you need to be so much more specific. provide examples, have clear arguments, go into depth and take us there. your essay is very very general, very subjective, and it doesn't say too much of something specific and it doesn't really help the reader learn something new or make him/her think about the topic I AM CRYING LAUGHING. ur my new fav user on all of LBΒ 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CinnamonOnMyTeeth 1,818 Posted February 10, 2023 i think you guys might enjoy this tiktokΒ https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRt1MCrJ/ 0 Quote Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β "πΉπππ π»πππππ ππ, ππΎππ ππ½π ππππππ πππΉππ ππΈππΆπ π·πππΉ" Β Β instagram Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
111 36,678 Posted February 10, 2023 Y'ALL I'M SCREAMING OMFGGGGGGGGΒ the thing i just found out pls i- 16 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CinnamonOnMyTeeth 1,818 Posted February 10, 2023 1 minute ago, 111 said: Y'ALL I'M SCREAMING OMFGGGGGGGGΒ the thing i just found out pls i- OMG WHAT IS IT??? YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO US ITS SO RUDE 5 Quote Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β "πΉπππ π»πππππ ππ, ππΎππ ππ½π ππππππ πππΉππ ππΈππΆπ π·πππΉ" Β Β instagram Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
one time beauty queen 18,411 Posted February 10, 2023 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BartenderDeco 19,636 Posted February 10, 2023 3 minutes ago, 111 said: Y'ALL I'M SCREAMING OMFGGGGGGGGΒ the thing i just found out pls i- PLEASE PLEASE SPILLΒ OR ILL BE STAYING UP TILL 3AM AGAIN 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ultrabanisters 44,998 Posted February 10, 2023 3 minutes ago, 111 said: Y'ALL I'M SCREAMING OMFGGGGGGGGΒ the thing i just found out pls i- 4 Quote resident sweeter 24/7/17 - 9/7/23Β - 10/7/23 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
