Make me your Dream Life 88,066 Posted August 10, 2019 We all live different lives, walk on different paths, and we're all dealt different cards. What didn't work for me might work for you. Do what feels right to you, just try to learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others. See everything as a lesson, and don't let things be; examine them, re-examine them, learn all you can from every experience you have. Every time I turned a blind eye to something or ignored a pattern, I paid for it dearly. Granted there were quite a few nasty shocks thrown in there too, way too many for my fragile mind to handle, but some things I should have seen coming. Technically, I'm still young, but I'm just too worn out for certain things, like love for example. I've been put through the grinder lol, and there's no coming back from that. I'm not capable of trusting anyone, and without trust there can't be love. Call me cynical, but every time I assume the worst I'm right. It doesn't help that I'm only romantically attracted to men, i.e. the scum of the earth (no offense, you know what I mean). This plague upon humanity never fails to remind me what awfulness they're capable of. I'm pretty sure the good ones are like, one in a billion, and I'm not going to waste my life waiting for a miracle that won't happen. Maybe in another life. It's one of the main reasons I overthink yeah. and sometimes it's the most difficult thing to face, when the truth isn't what u want it to be, and although how much you hope n try to alter a situation, how much u want to make it better, it could still just fall through for the tiniest thing and it gets me so frustrated bc it feels like all the effort was for nothing. I used to, and well, admittedly, love learning things the hard way to kinda just, not even intentionally, but I have to experience those things, to experience the depth and fullness of a situation, maybe I can just get real intense and think, maybe if I keep fighting, things'll be ok and work out, for me, it usually does thank god, but it's different w relationships bc u have to put the other person first, and for a really long while, I had trouble accepting that w my personal values mixing giving up as some kind of failure, these days, I get genuinely surprised when I see someone kind, or see when people stay. It scares me how easily detached I can b, and how I use objectivity to just stay detached. That way, no one can hurt you. I get that, at least for me, seeing the best in people can really get you in trouble, but I guess it's just establishing better boundaries bc others have a plethora of motivations, nd it's really difficult for me to think that there're people who're really selfish, who're only looking out for themselves. I'm gay so I'm kinda stuck w em ah. I don't know what that's like, not being able to trust people. I guess it makes you a really strong person, but I can tell how lonely that might be. I usually do my best to kinda just be sincere, I mean, blank n blank is what I am, might as well just own it, and trust as much as I can, but once I sense something weird, I swim away, bc I don't wanna be used and then just tossed aside, bc I know how dangerous it is to care for someone or just people who don't care for you. It pisses me off how guys do so much to just get u, nd once they have you, treat you less than how things started. Sometimes I just get so skeptical and it's so fucking sad how we sorta have to care for ourselves thru that way, having to retreat back into ourselves bc sometimes people do just want something from u and leave. I love intimacy and it just kills that. Nd it's stupid, and I'm aware of how people call me good or whatever, not even humble bragging, it's just so difficult, having to stay this way, it's just heartwrenching, always giving people chances nd trying to see the best in them, then just being let down. It's not even some kind of twisted expectation, it's just being able to reciprocate in a respectful way, like there's a more evolved type of human, why can't you at least try ascending to that instead of staying in ur lowkey mediocrity? It gets tiring, but I can't help it? I can't help it. Like, help me help u. Maybe they're just not ready or something and I know I'm still learning. I honestly hope we both find em. I'm tired of getting reeled into games I never signed up for. Not gonna lie tho, I love just doing better, doing my own thing, and having guys want me, bc I mean hell yeah it's easy, it's fun and half retribution, but I never do anything unless I see there's more to them than just wanting to bed me. I want to treat them like people, bc I know what it feels like to just be treated like meat yeah. I've been teetering between just having a great big moraless party fit, nd staying right w myself. These problems we shouldn't even be facing bc others can't control themselves, nd honestly I'm guilty of that sometimes too, but it just gets me thinking how we're all so alone bc of our fears, and how we've coddled them time and time again bc they make us feel safe. How that's something not even much to cling to, but bc it's still something to fall back to and feed our predispositioned judgments we've formed for ourselves. It's horrible feeling so alone w others that just make u feel even more alone. How do we fix that? I personally believe in a more humanist kind of view, where little moments aim to help and heal, but we never really know for sure. Maybe that's what makes just trying and being kind can be so disarming. I guess, it's just tactfully and responsibly applying that, that might get the best results. It's hard tho haha 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MoreCruelThanYou 5,277 Posted August 10, 2019 Top 10 Lana Unreleased (in order from best to worst): 1 Cherry Blossom 2 Fine China 3 Your Girl 4 Wild One 5 Say Yes to Heaven 6 Hey You 7 Angels Forever, Forever Angels 8 On Our Way 9 Hundred Dollar Bill 10 Serial Killer Honorable Mention (in order from best to worst): 1 JFK 2 Hit and Run 3 Live or Die 4 I Don't Wanna Go 5 Big Bad Wolf I'm sorry, I do NOT make the rules. These are the untouchables, enjoy ladiez 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BluVelvUnderground 1,754 Posted August 11, 2019 [redacted] 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BluVelvUnderground 1,754 Posted August 12, 2019 So I spent hours and much much listening over and over and over the years and past few days... my updated top 25 001. Flipside 002. Wild One 003. Venice Bitch 004. Black Beauty (UV version tbh) 005. Yayo (Paradise version tbh) 006. The Blackest Day 007. Heroin 008. Video Games 009. Ride 010. The Ocean (Kill Kill) 011. West Coast 012. Mariners Apartment Complex 013. Driving in Cars with Boys (high pitch version) 014. Get Drunk 015. Salvatore 016. Cruel World 017. Pawn Shop Blues 018. Terrence Loves You 019. Get Free 020. Change 021. God Knows I Tried 022. Queen of Disaster 023. Wayamaya 024. Old Money 025. Prom Song (Gone Wrong) 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annedauphine 35,923 Posted August 13, 2019 I end the four worst months of my life (aka my internship) tomorrow and I'm celebrating by listening to all of Lana albums in full one after the other. Started w Honeymoon now at UV enjoying the fuck out of it 6 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Doll Harlow 12,367 Posted August 18, 2019 This is probably absurd but I wonder if Lana and Barrie will ever get back together? I know given the circumstances of their split, it seems rather unlikely. And I wouldn't want Lana to become depressed again. But they really did have something, a twin flame sort of thing. 1 Quote You call me lavender, you call me sunshine. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Veinsineon 77,059 Posted August 18, 2019 This is probably absurd but I wonder if Lana and Barrie will ever get back together? I know given the circumstances of their split, it seems rather unlikely. And I wouldn't want Lana to become depressed again. But they really did have something, a twin flame sort of thing. I miss Barrie writing Lana's music 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChicaCherryCola 1,393 Posted August 18, 2019 This is probably absurd but I wonder if Lana and Barrie will ever get back together? I know given the circumstances of their split, it seems rather unlikely. And I wouldn't want Lana to become depressed again. But they really did have something, a twin flame sort of thing. You know what they say, sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough I don't know why. Okay, to elaborate: despite your last sentence, I don't think they'll ever get back together "once and for all". The connection they had was amazing, but it's still hard to build a healthy and prosperous relationship like that. They get each other, maybe they're soulmates, but they would need stability and someone a bit different to give them what they needed to grow. I hope they still cherish what they had and that, in some way, they kept it, though. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jvcx 3,644 Posted August 20, 2019 "I'm tired of feeling like I'm fucking crazy / I'm tired of driving 'till I see stars in my eyes" will forever be my favorite part of Ride, I always tear at that point when I watch videos from my first Lana concert also when she hits that high note at "I just ride" 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ultra Violet 18,995 Posted August 20, 2019 "I'm tired of feeling like I'm fucking crazy / I'm tired of driving 'till I see stars in my eyes" will forever be my favorite part of Ride, I always tear at that point when I watch videos from my first Lana concert also when she hits that high note at "I just ride" I used to be obsessed with that part in the music video where she's on the bike with the fireworks in both hands and wearing the headdress but I found out later that doing that is very problematic, but ignorant me loved that aesthetic Random, but when my sister first heard that part in Ride, she was like "I think Lana might also have bipolar! Cause when she says 'I'm tired of feeling like im fucking crazy!" and I was like, oh sis, not everyone who feels crazy has to have bipolar 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annedauphine 35,923 Posted August 21, 2019 I started binge watching Mindhunter yesterday w my sister (watch it on Netflix it's freaking amazing and apparently season 2 is even better) and I was watching mindlessly videos about the serial killers they talk about in the show and I stumbled upon a video where they use a screenshot of Lana's rape scene from Marilyn Manson's video to illustrate a murderer raping his victims and I don't know why but that actually really troubles me. It's completely out of context and her image makes no sense being used here. I'm even more shocked that I instantly recognized her seing the picture is processed with filters.Here's the video, at 12:27. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Serene Queen 4,786 Posted August 21, 2019 Okay what exactly is the deal with this Marilyn Manson rape footage?! I’ve never heard of it before!! 0 Quote Hell, I Suppose if You Stick Around Long Enough, They Have to Say Something Nice About You Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annedauphine 35,923 Posted August 21, 2019 Okay what exactly is the deal with this Marilyn Manson rape footage?! I’ve never heard of it before!! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Serene Queen 4,786 Posted August 21, 2019 Um that’s FUCKED UP 1 Quote Hell, I Suppose if You Stick Around Long Enough, They Have to Say Something Nice About You Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bartenders 1,206 Posted August 21, 2019 Okay what exactly is the deal with this Marilyn Manson rape footage?! I’ve never heard of it before!! it was supposed to be on a music video/film of his but it got scrapped or something and eventually leaked 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nobody 21,579 Posted August 21, 2019 Not Lana's boyfriend indirectly calling Chuck dumb 10 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LanaFlowers 8,752 Posted August 21, 2019 Not Lana's boyfriend indirectly calling Chuck dumb ...is he wrong though? 9 Quote I'm kinda focused on being a baddie right now. I can't really work. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kurac na Biciklu 2,359 Posted August 21, 2019 /*- 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WilshireBoulevard 5,420 Posted August 21, 2019 did this Billie E girl ever said smth about Lana? just ask coz they compare her to L Afaik she's specifically asked people not to compare her to lana because she recognizes that lana's doing her own thing and is great at it, and billie's doing something else entirely. Unfortunately two female singers can't exist without people trying to pit them against each other (not that Lana's entirely innocent of that trope lmao). If I'd been a hardcore fan when this was made I would have probably unstanned. This is one of the reasons people that insist she was better back when she "wasn't PC" get a hard side-eye from me. 4 Quote locals only Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jvcx 3,644 Posted August 21, 2019 I used to be obsessed with that part in the music video where she's on the bike with the fireworks in both hands and wearing the headdress but I found out later that doing that is very problematic, but ignorant me loved that aesthetic Random, but when my sister first heard that part in Ride, she was like "I think Lana might also have bipolar! Cause when she says 'I'm tired of feeling like im fucking crazy!" and I was like, oh sis, not everyone who feels crazy has to have bipolar ME TOO 0 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites