Make Up Lana Del Rey News!

[Sitar 22,214]

So there's no question that we're in a bit of a news drought lately. Tropico is rumored to be out later this month but damn if Lana will breathe a word about it. So here, we make up Lana Del Rey headlines that sound like they could be plausible! I'll start:

 

Lana to Record a Duet With Elvis "Whether or Not Science or Logic Backs Me Up"

 

Lana to Write a Metaphysical Interpretation of Lolita, Sparks Outrage

 

Lana to Release a Line of Fresh2Death Ballcaps

 

Play along

[Beemo 1,373]

Ride singer Lana Del Rey beefs with Royals chanteuse Lorde about true hipster music!

[Foolish 541]

Lady Gaga and Lana Del Ray having catfight in Chateau Marmont!

[Viva 3,170]

Lana Del Rey sparks outrage by culturally appropriating of Native American hairdresser, Cholas eyebrow shape, Mexican sombreros and tacos,  Jesus Christ  and transvestites. All that in a 2o minutes short video called Tropico.

[lauradelxx 1,082]

Lana Del Rey changes name to Lana Del Ray    

[Adrift 4,813]

"Chateau Marmont Under New Ownership: Calls Roofer In Panic - "It's leaking worse than my discography!"

[onetruelove 53]

Lana Del Rey sets out on her first worldwide tour 

 

 

waiting tbh   

[Atom Heart 1,931]

Lana Del Rey releases Tropico!

 

Lana Del Rey finds her clones Elizabeth Grant and May Jailer are on the taking credit for her songs!

 

Lana leaks 'Roses' and her fanbase has an aneurysm in unison!

[Cleopatra 1,099]

Lana Del Rey Scores Endorsement Deal With Rogaine!

 

It's Baaaack. Lana Del Rey Steps Out With Gold Tooth!

[lola 6,642]

Lana Del Ray Overdoses on Speed Balls, Courtney Love and Friends Stage Intervention

 

Lana Del Rey and Barry Oneal call it quits, Lady Gaga Moves Into Chateau Marmont to Console Long-Lost Friend

 

Lana Del Ray and Lady Gaga Trash Their Room at the Chateau Marmont: Is the Hollywood Sadcore Crooner Back on the Dope?

 

Lana Del Ray Reportedly Hooks Up With Ex-Beau Reeve Carney, Taylor Swift Currently Writing New Song

 

Lana Del Ray Tragically Dies From Heroin Overdose, TROPICO Release Scheduled For Next Month

[Viva 3,170]

Lana Del Ray Tragically Dies From Heroin Overdose, TROPICO Release Scheduled For Next Month

 

[Rebel 3,177]

Lana Del Rey's Lead Single From Her Fourth Album Is Premiering Next Monday! - "Video Games (Cedric Gervais Remix)"

Lana Del Rey's Next Single From Her Fourth Album Is Premiering Next Tuesday! - "Born To Die (Cedric Gervais Remix)"

Lana Del Rey's Consecutive Fifth Top Ten Single From Her Fourth Album Is Premiering Next Wednesday! - "Blue Jeans (Cedric Gervais Remix)"

[Wryta Thinkpiece 3,345]

Vinny & Lana's Collab. Song "Pop Off, Pop-Tart" LEAKED
Lana Says It's "Still Legit;" Gaga Says Her Career Was "Vici'd," Rick Nowels Pleads "Hacked Again"

"I Know Him, I Wouldn't Mind!" Lana Talks VinVidVi & Barrie's "Close Friendship,"
Sultry Singer Details Thoughts on BFF & Beau's Latest Outing to Sunset Motel

Barrie Caught Vici'ing Vinny: "Taste Like Warm Aloevine!"
Scottish Heartthrob Admits "Lana Really Doesn't Mind"

Lana Watches Vinny & Barrie: "If It's Wrong, I Don't Wanna Be Right!"
Find out why voyeurism is all the rage for Lana "homosexually, visually, and orgasmically"

[trashtrashtrash 645]

Lana Del Rey reveals K was her childhood imaginary friend, fan base shocked and confused

[my ol man isa batman 480]

BREAKING NEWS!!! LANA DEL RAY FOUND NOT DEAD 

Sultry songstress Lana Del Ray found in underground hideout with fellow icons Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe and Jesus Christ 

[Beemo 1,373]

Lana Del Rey releasing a re-release of a re-release, new album to be titled Born To Die: The Paradise Edition - Garden of Eden: Legend of Lizzy and the Tree of Original Sin's Vicious Viper : Tesco + Target Exclusive Version!

[YUNGATA 14,955]

Lana Del Rey dies, claims she, "still made it into the 27 club"

[DUKE 2,530]

 

Lana Del Rey Goes Nazi

 

The arguably 27 year old American singer is channeling what appears to be an homage to nobody less than Nazi regime leader Adolf Hitler in a recently leaked song called "Manipulate Me." To many this may come as an abrupt and surprising change of topic since the singer, whose actual name is Elizabeth Grant and currently resides in Los Angeles with her homeless boyfriend, a street musician from Scotland, has continuously mentioned past dynasties of Hollywood stars and has earned a reputation of self-proclaimed "Hollywood sadcore" through her epic songs and looks.

 

Lana Del Rey's iconic looks are a fusion of Hollywood glamour and pin-up kitsch 

 

Sources close to Grant report that the mutinous chanteuse has even more controversial material in store for her upcoming album. According to an insider who preferred to remain unmentioned, Lana Del Rey has also written songs about Stalin and Mussolini. She is no stranger to controversy, as she just recently outed herself as anti-feminist saying she chose to have a dominant male figure in her life. Seems like the verbophile (a term currently being reviewed for inclusion into the Oxford English Dictionary) is now going to devote herself to a variety of different dominant men.

 

Lana Del Rey's album which is reportedly called The Tale of Eve and seeks inspiration in the life of Hitler mistress Eva Braun, is expected for late 2016 release.

[lola 6,642]

Lana Del Rey's album which is reportedly called The Tale of Eve and seeks inspiration in the life of Hitler mistress Eva Braun, and is expected for late 2016 release.

She is quoted as saying "I'm thinking maybe late 2016."

[Poison Ivy 1,588]

Lana Del Rey falls off the face of the Earth, takes Tropico mini-film with her