themusicbizisGONEgoingcountry

she is like this is a sign
im streaming it on my insta 

Not at Walt Disney World, in the middle of a panoramic, maskless, in the state with the worst COVID numbers

"I think I'm getting at something... I love Living Legend that's actually about my first mentor Jane Powers. Sweet baby Jane don't know a thing about my songs but she knows I'm a monsoon. She knew everything bad about me but she didn't know I was a singer. I've got guns in the summertime and horses too, I never meant to be bad or unwell, I was just living on the edge right between heaven and hell and I'm tired of it. Did you like the way I turned my voice into a saxophone? Like waaaawawawawawaaaaaaa! I was trying to sound like a sax, I was really going for it. It kind of reminds me of Dealer a little bit, like eueueughhhh! Or when I was younger and I used to sing Million Dollar Man like one for the moneyyyy ahhhhh twoooo for the showww ahhhh!!! Looking back they're quite troubling, but I was getting there and that's the thing. As long as you do what you feel it kind of makes sense later and then none of it makes sense all over again and then you do it all again and man I just pray so much. I need so much help. But I got Rob and his little Hawaiian shirts and little Annie she's landing"

if she ever makes an autobiography/documentary it’s going to be so chaotic—her cuddling chickens after seeing a medium & coming home to journal. I love her

is she like on m0lly or something 

Matt just wanted his ass eaten 

Two weeks without instagram and she’s so bored she’s stuck on a livestream

Matt is the one we needed to be on the live
"Im glad that you made Zach so happy"

"In the end even if everyone hates it, it all comes out in the wash. None of it matters. I mean, I think also I heard someone say once sometimes in relationships it's not the messenger, its the message. Sometimes you have to pay attention to what was it in that partner that they had that you wanted and what did you have that they wanted. I mean I personally know the answers to those two questions in all my relationships. Is it stability? Is it the ability to hold it together no matter what? But also they ended up losing it, so that was also messed up."

"My surrogate mom candy says that chemistry never dies. even if the other person dies, chemistry never dies. It's like we have soulmates but we don't have to marry them and I think I had that old trailer for Lust for Life and I talked about holding in my poetry I hold many worlds in the palms of my hands. That trailer was everything. Rich is gonna help me do a trailer like that and also have it like float into all the videos I have from the past two years, but that's triggering too. I actually stopped making... Ew, why did someone say 'Congrats on your surrogate pregnancy?' Yuck, go away. You're so annoying.
You know what the good thing is though? I think just knowing that time the only thing that's going to make it get better is so much time. If you’re that sensitive, I think also, do you every listen to Jerry & Esther Hicks? They have saved my life many times. I think Jerry's passed now, but I listen to Esther all the time and she talks about how important it is to have non-thought like not having positive thoughts about the future or sad thoughts about the past but just like having a singular point of focus in a meditation or while you're sleeping while your thoughts just stop where the train stops gaining momentum. Its' not like it ceases to be there but you have an opportunity to have other thoughts keep in there. I meditate a lot,  do so many meditations because I am so ADD, I remember everything. The people I'm thinking about, they don't remember anything. Candy says they're always thinking about you too, but I think probably not. For that reason, I have to take so much time to slow down my thinking and slow down my breathing. The good thing is I've been in certain rooms where I'm shocked to hear people want to jump out a building because their relationship ended. I'm like really? You look like you have it all together!"

This livestream is the most random thing I have ever witnessed, so much tea being spilled in the most casual way

Appreciation post for our first queer friend who actually asked insightful questions and kept things moving 

I am OBSESSED she is spilling every last drop of the tea in the most random earnest way, if this is her new version of promo I am in

she has such a unique & powerful mind

"you know, i remember when Sean and I broke up...."
 
me: 

Me and my ex-girlfriend ooh, now the plot twist was served 
But he's bi anyway, there's not way that guy isn't into dudes

So did he mean girlfriend or girlfriend like how my mom uses it

is he funny or is he cute. is he eloquent or is he a white twink. did he deserve this time, or is he just good at talking incessantly

"When I say things like that, it's because I want something to impact me. I want it to impact me." - talking about the "looking to get fucked hard" lyric in Gods & Monsters x

not me touching up my brows in case she accepts my request

"I think if people hadn't been so mean to me I wouldn't have been able to get mad. I was always the one to turn the other cheek in my life. I'm very quiet. I think there's always a lesson in all of it and I think it gave me permission to be mad in other areas. The hard part is like what to do next, like, even for me the answer didn't really feel like making another record was the right answer to being pissed off but at the time it was all I knew how to do. But there's so many other things to do. Also for me it takes a village to make me un-mad. Like connection is so important. I remember writing down at some point 4 years ago I need more friends, and I found them. I wrote it and I found the most amazing girls. Do you know how crazy it is to do when you’re grown up to meet friends? Maybe if people hadn't been so tough on me, I wouldn't have felt like I needed more friends. Then god brought me the most or spirit brought me the most beautiful friendships -  people I never thought I would ever meet. My girlfriends in high school before I went to boarding school were amazing, so I sort of got them back, you know?
 
The paparazzi were gone for 2 years, everything was so normal and then this morning it really fucking sucked because I was trying to feed my chickens, somehow they were like looking through the hedges and I was also wearing something insane so I left and was like this is really scary. & then I always do the wrong thing which is I always speed up really fast to their drivers side which is so dangerous and take a picture of them but I shouldn't do that.
 
I want to give a shoutout to Tessa DiPietro. She's the most talented woman I've met in LA in the past 10 years. There's like no way to get ahold of her. She doesn't have a website. She doesn't like post or anything but I met her like 8 years ago and she didn't know me at all, and the first thing she said to me was, a question is coming off of your right shoulder that wants to be acknowledged, and that question is how does it serve you to be submissive in your life? And I went a shade of red you can't describe and I didn't know if it was a sexual innuendo, but I said well if you’re submissive in general people don’t get mad at you. She said i'ts not a question that needs to be answered, it's a question to present to your psyche. Since then she's brought so many, I like the concept that she brought to light about the over culture. You know how somethings things go badly in your life things are also weird in other people's lives? There's a power of that superconscious. It's also why you'll see like.5 movies come out that are all about Snow White. The tone of the over culture is very powerful."

taking his chance to pitch playing piano for lana  bold

Rob just sitting in the back staring directly into the camera, king shit 

homedude is in the middle of his grindr date talking to lana