Member of the Week: SitarHero

[Hundred Dollar Bill 21,809]

Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you all enjoy Sitar's long-awaited interview.

1. What's something not many people know about you or that we would be surprised to learn about?
The first thing I ever stanned for hardcore was Twilight.

2. What's your current career? What's your dream job?
I’m currently unemployed as hell and going to school. Ideally, I’d like to publish books and gain my success that easily.

3. What did you want to be when you were growing up? Have you become that yet? Did that decision change for you?
When I was growing up, I wanted to be an artist based on some misleading praise from my kindergarten teacher. I then wanted to be an “oceanologist”, whether or not that’s a real career, because I learned the various levels of the sea and thought they sounded cool. I then wanted to be a pianist because I saw a piano. Around second grade I settled on writer and I’ve stuck to that ever since.

4. What would you consider your greatest accomplishment(s)?
I’m pretty young and my entire life has been dedicated to school, non-stop. That said, an underground magazine approached me when I was fifteen based on some chapters of a story I was writing on another forum and asked if they could publish some of my work. It’s not like this magazine took off or I got a lot of publisher attention for it (probably a good thing, considered I cringe at the quality of what was put in there almost Sirens-style). But I felt really proud of myself, and like I can one day bulldoze that small accomplishment with lots of other ones.

5. What are your hobbies?
Well, you may have guessed that I like to write based on the previous questions. In addition to reading, music, watching cooking shows…it’s endless, really. I’ve gathered a huge amalgam of hobbies (one of which is inserting pretentious words into forum interviews) because I live a solid 30 minutes from civilization and don’t have many friends. Emulate me.

6. What's your biggest funny fail?
Multiple attempts to get a boyfriend. L-O-L.

7. What is your favorite memory?
The first concert I ever went to. Say Anything. I got deliberately punched in the stomach several times and was a few layers from humping an Arabian guy the entire time. Also the music, et cetera. It was just a blast.

8. Lana's junior and high school years have been rather chaotic from what we know. How were/are yours?
Mine were a lot less dramatic than it seemed at the time. I can say for certain that I lived the antithesis to Elizabeth’s life—no (successful) romance (that didn’t involve me pining) or partying to be had. There was a stint early on where I tried to makeguys wearing bows happen, but despite that success I’ve recovered. I’ve got her beat whenever she sings Never voted for nothing in high school—Class Individual here Mostly I dressed in costumes and made fucked-up videos with my friends and egged cars.

9. Do any of the words “sassy”, “fabulous”, or “flawless” describe you?
I tried to cleverly combine those words, but it turned into “slobby”. That’s probably more accurate.

10. If you could bring two people back from the dead, have an exquisite dinner, and some great conversation with them...who would they be and what would you eat?
I think I’d choose Whitney Houston and Oscar Wilde because I have a short attention span and they’re the only dead people I’m particularly interested in. We’d eat some fucking Chipotle, to be honest.

11. Who is the person you admire most and why?
I admire GagaOopsy’s courage.

12. What do you see in people that you yourself wish to emulate?
Perhaps an ability to balance a sparkling wit and sass with being liked. I just can’t pull off both at the same time, and rarely do I know when I’ve crossed a line or am acting like a gnome.

13. Make up a word that you would use daily and describe what it means.
Blovenate: to masturbate vigorously to the Antiques Roadshow

14. If your balls were a celebrity couple, who would they be?
Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morrissette. No one wants to see that.

15. When did you become a fan of Lana? What was it about her that attracted you to her?
Well, she snagged me up in the second wave of hype--that is, with giving away "Born to Die" fo' free. I love a bargain and this is what it took to finally get me to listen to this girl, because wherever I heard "'Video Games' by Lana Del Rey", I imagined some glitchy chola dance anthem. Needless to say, "Born to Die" shocked the hell out of me and still remains impressive to this day. I wasn't too wrapped up in her appearance. You see, it hadn't even entered my mind that Lana was considered anything close to a ~pop-star~, so her image meant little to nothing to me. I was all about that indie hype, because that's usually what I'm into. It wasn't until SNL and her album that I saw her for what she was. So what qualities drew me to her? I can't say it was her lush music, dope beats, or fat lips. It was a low-quality download of "Kill Kill" sitting in my library, begging me to look further into the depths of YouTube for all those unreleased tracks.

16. Which Lana album is your favorite: Paradise, Born to Die, Lana Del Ray AKA Lizzy Grant, or Sirens?
Without a doubt Lana Del Ray AKA Lizzy Grant. Get that magnum opus

17. Favorite Lana song? Why?
“Get Drunk”—it’s equal parts sinister and seductive, which is really captivating. She taps into something really dark there, and as a good fan I’m not supposed to wish for her to return to that sort of music because it comes along with addiction and sadness. As a bad fan, well.

18. Least favorite Lana song? Why?
“Lucky Ones”, because in literal hundreds of songs written by this girl, it remains unmatched in its level of generic-ness. Sorry ‘bout it.

19. If given the opportunity to meet Lana for an hour, what would you do/say?
I don’t think I could stop questioning her for a full sixty minutes. In this fantasy, she’s open about her life, right? We’re buds? It would be much less a conversation and more of an interrogation. Men, her unsuccessful earlier albums, her creativity—all stones would be turned.

20. Would you rather love and be loved or know all God knows?
God probably knows fucked-up shit like who is a secret pedophile and the individual tastes of all pussies everywhere, so gimme dat romance.

21. Of all the unreleased videos and songs we have knowledge of, what do you thirst for most?
“Daytona Meth.” Never has a title captivated me like that. I can’t imagine what kind of terrorist rampage I’d go on if I heard it and it sucked.

22. Are you the leaker?
[insert a joke about jism here.]

23. Are you Lana?
I could probably convince you if you saw me grinding through the desert into the sunset to the tune of “Ride”—real occurrence.

24. Are you Ben Mawson?
All I have to say is: CONGRATULATIONS on putting me in a position of power!

25. Did you answer the 3 questions above honestly?


26. Who are your favorite artists?
Each of my favorites satisfy separate purposes, I find—a huge reason Lana ended up eclipsing a lot of them, because she’s got the whole package. I do love Lady Gaga and I am ready for your stones. Otherwise, mad appreciation for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Smiths, The Mountain Goats, Placebo…

27. What was the last book you read?
I’m trying to get into On Masturbation by Mark Twain In addition, I’m reading a mindless teenage book I’ve been meaning to since I was an appropriate age to read such a thing, called Castration Celebration by Jake Wizner. There’s beauty in the joining of these titles.

28. Recommend us a song (can’t be top 40/popular) that we just have to listen to!
I’m not confident that anyone will actually listen to a song if I post it, but here I go: "Keep Yourself Warm" by Frightened Rabbit

https://soundcloud.com/fizzlex3/frightened-rabbit-keep-yourself-warm by https://soundcloud.com/fizzlex3/frightened-rabbit-keep-yourself-warm

29. If you ever became a musician, what would you make your stage name?
Hmm…Anti-Semantics. Like “anti-Semitic”, but not. Obviously I would be famous based on that controversy alone.

30. What comes after “Lana Del Rey” in your music library?
LCD Soundsystem

31. Put your iPod/music library on shuffle and tell us which 10 songs are played. Don't skip, don't cheat!

• “Thank You, Jack White (For the Fiber-Optic Jesus That You Gave Me)” by The Flaming Lips
• “Commandante” by The Mountain Goats
• “Two Against One (feat. Jack White)” by Danger Mouse & Daniele Luppi
• “Jumping Someone Else’s Train” by The Cure
• “Born to Die (Lana Del Rey Cover)” by Patrick Wolf AKA Mrs. SitarHero
• “Isis” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
• “Supermodel’s Legs” by Marina and the Diamonds
• “You” by Regina Spektor
• “Hit the Switch” by Bright Eyes
• “You Are the Light (By Which I Travel Into This and That)” by Jens Lekman

32. What are your thoughts on emotions, and the way that people express them?
More often than not other people’s emotions piss me off. Mine too, I guess. No, it pisses me off when they’re stupid emotions. Ugh, maybe I should go back and read my answer regarding coming across terribly to people…I like happiness. I like when emotions become productive and creative. Good people are allotted their bad emotions.

33. Do you hate anyone? If so, why?
Heavens to Betsy, no! I hate everyone.

34. What are the small things in life that make you as happy as a clamkitty?
The moment in a certain song that makes you inwardly shout “yes!”—or outwardly, if you’re a big weirdo. Cats. A good hour or more of The Golden Girls. When people I hate are distressed

35. What do you think your purpose is? Are you happy with where you are in life?
What kind of…No, I’m broke and live with my grandparents. My purpose better involve a large audience, is all I can say.

36. What is a characteristic / trait you see in others that you wish you had?
Devastating good looks? Or patience. Tolerance, really.

37. What are your pet peeves / deal-breakers when it comes to friends/relationships?
My ass needs a sense of humor. Sure, that sounds typical, but have you every tried getting with someone who doesn’t get sarcasm? Because I have. I don’t take well to people who are excessively attractive… (This interview is not doing much to paint me in a positive light, is it?) Furthermore, I don’t like it when people are self-centered or illogical.

38. What would you say is your favorite physical trait + personality trait in a potential partner?
A good butt can make me forgive a lot of flaws—for instance, a guy who wears dad jeans. Normally reprehensible, unless there’s a nice butt in the mix. In similar fashion to the last question, I love laughing. So if you make me laugh, my heart is already yours to a certain extent. I don’t need much convincing beyond basic intelligence and humor.

(And the Oopsy questions...)

Do you believe in love?
Lol im holding out hope but if u can beleave in love dos th@ mean its sumtimes not reel?? Liek if u can beleave in santa? Lol! ;,))

Are you into cute stuff?
I <3 kawaii shit liek ignorin basic social cues & baloons!

What's your fave piece of clothing?
Burqa swagg!

What's your fave accessory?
A butt plug made of splenda!!

What's your fave candy?
Lol same!! ;,)))

Fave ice cream flavor?
Please get me out of here.

BONUS: Is there anything you'd like to tell the community of LanaBoards?
Well, that was quite the exposé! Hope I haven't harmed too many positive opinions or reinforced too many negative ones! Props to those of you who voted for me. Props to a lesser degree to those who didn’t—what’s wrong with you? Props to those who voted my colleague Hundred Dollar Bill, who I’m happy to be featured alongside here. Sometimes I like to think we’re the power couple of LanaBoards, but sometimes I also slow dance with my cat so basically I shouldn’t be trusted with normal human functions. Thanks to those of you who like me. Does anyone not? Let me know, please. On a whole, I’m glad you’re all cool, funny people who aren’t totally insufferable. I certainly wouldn’t be moderating y’all if that weren’t the case. And now, to give you each shout-outs, one by—
ERROR 403 FORBIDDEN

[Chris Cuomo 3,324]

Congrats. Loved reading the interview!

[Cleopatra 1,099]

 

1. What's something not many people know about you or that we would be surprised to learn about?

The first thing I ever stanned for hardcore was Twilight.

 

 

:legend:

 

I loved your response to the question of how you were attracted to her. I love everything mane. And I would love to read your books.

[Baby V Alex 2,859]

So no Godney reference on this MOTW thread

 

 

 

 

[SugarVenom 464]

Awww~ congratulations

[Monicker 3,035]

This was great. Praise be to SitarHero.

 

[YUNGATA 14,955]

This was not basic at all. Good job Sitar.

[Hundred Dollar Bill 21,809]

I don’t take well to people who are excessively attractive

Wait, how are we friends then?

 

Oh, I remember!

 

A good butt can make me forgive a lot of flaws—

 

[YUNGATA 14,955]

 

Wait, how are we friends then?

 

Oh, I remember!

 

 

 

 

 

there are Hundred Dollar Butt pics? link.

[Monicker 3,035]

Wait, Bill, you're saying you have a lot of flaws but a good butt?

[TrailerParkDarling 5,701]

aww I wanna read your writing. funny people are always good writers. lov'd d interview

[Baby V Alex 2,859]

Wait, how are we friends then?

 

Oh, I remember!

 

 

 

 

there are Hundred Dollar Butt pics? link.

 

[NEAL 740]

I then wanted to be an “oceanologist”, whether or not that’s a real career, because I learned the various levels of the sea and thought they sounded cool.

A good butt can make me forgive a lot of flaws—

What's up with these oceanologist and bottom? You can have Biggy Bottom with leading character BagelBill BowTie (gee, I can't even visualize). But ah, various levels of the sea reminds me of these fab posters:

 

 

 

25. Did you answer the 3 questions above honestly?

 

Never was there ever an answer so pretty..

 

4. What would you consider your greatest accomplishment(s)?

I’m pretty young and my entire life has been dedicated to school, non-stop. That said, an underground magazine approached me when I was fifteen based on some chapters of a story I was writing on another forum and asked if they could publish some of my work. It’s not like this magazine took off or I got a lot of publisher attention for it (probably a good thing, considered I cringe at the quality of what was put in there almost Sirens-style). But I felt really proud of myself, and like I can one day bulldoze that small accomplishment with lots of other ones.

 

Post it. Post it. u know u wanna..

 

 

I like when emotions become productive and creative.

:mhm:

 

I don’t like it when people are self-centered or illogical.

:ermm:

 

I do love Lady Gaga and I am ready for your stones. Otherwise, mad appreciation for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Smiths, The Mountain Goats, Placebo…

 

Except for The Mountain Goats (who I don't think I ever heard of):

Hello, hello.. to Sitar's frankeefab taste.

Is it a soft shock to ask "How soon is now to see you at the bitter end?"

[rways 405]

So no Godney reference on this MOTW thread

 

 

 

 

Believe in Godney People!

[DUKE 2,530]

This was a great interview! My bladder almost exploded from screaming laughter at answer n°20.

Also, it didn't paint you in a bad light at all. And I wish you all the best with becoming the best-selling author you are meant to be.

[Mariann 255]

A great interview by another great member of LanaBoards. It was interesting to learn more about you, Sitar.

[Hundred Dollar Bill 21,809]

Wait, Bill, you're saying you have a lot of flaws but a good butt?

 

I was saying how I didn't get that Sitar and I were friends, because he can't handle excessively attractive people. But then I remembered that I have a good butt to make up for whatever negatives Sitar might see in me, as he knows I have a good butt. So it makes up for the fact that I'm too attractive to be his friend.

[PrettyBaby 2,220]

Congrats Sitar! I know you'll go far in life as a graphic artist who can write... or a writer who can graphic-art... or something

[Sitar 22,218]

"Seventeen replies...seventeen whole members care?! Well, let me click this shit right now..."

 

Wait, how are we friends then?

 

Oh, I remember!

 

there are Hundred Dollar Butt pics? link.

Wait, Bill, you're saying you have a lot of flaws but a good butt?

 

Overshadowed by HDB's butt again, I see.

 

aww I wanna read your writing. funny people are always good writers. lov'd d interview

 

You think I'm funny?

 

Except for The Mountain Goats (who I don't think I ever heard of):

Hello, hello.. to Sitar's frankeefab taste.

Is it a soft shock to ask "How soon is now to see you at the bitter end?"

 

Oh my god Neal.

 

 

 

No really, thanks everyone who read. Sorry there's no Oprah show format. LVU U ALL.

[YUNGATA 14,955]

 

Overshadowed by HDB's butt again, I see.

 

 

u can post butt pics if u want