Member of the Month (June): lola

[Sitar 22,172]

Dig the landslide voting going on here! But of course dearest lola is very worthy and a key member in the LB community, if only for her second-biggest post whore status (hi ). But also for her boundless wit and her unamused avatar reflecting in all of her posts. Laugh cry puke and give it up for our most sassy jailbait...

 

Member of the Month: lola!

 

1. What did you do today?

Well I slept until 12 and it's 2 now so I haven't done much. I want to tell you about my dream though. I dreamt Jimmy Gnecco was my father. Not my daddy, my actual biological father. Like, my mom had had a one-night stand with him and then married someone else and when I turned 17, she told me Jimmy Gnecco was actually my father and I looked him up and we actually kind of looked alike and I went to see him and he immediately knew who I was and we hugged and it was great and we became friends. How weird is that? I usually only dream of dysfuntional relationships that end really badly.

 

SH: We don't have any Jimmy emotes that are appropriate for this situation, halp.
 

2. What's something not many people know about you or that we would be surprised to learn about?

Hm, I'll tell you a few things. When I was really little, like 3-4-5 years old, I spent hours in front of the TV watching MTV. I fucking loved MTV and I'm positive I saw all of the Nirvana videos during that time for when I watched them last fall, I felt like I'd already seen them and it was probably during my MTV phase. Then MTV turned to shit and I stopped watching it. I've regularly had head aches and stomach pain since I was little and I don't know why. When I was 14, I decided I was going to be a porn star for I didn't need any education to do so and it's good money. I planned the whole thing, decided which agent I was going to use, chose a name etc. etc. I had to go to detention once for sticking my tongue out at my teacher.

 

SH: ...Tell us the name, you can't just cliffhang in this bitch.

 

3. What's your current career? What's your dream job?

I'm not doing anything at the moment. I used to want to be a psychiatrist, then I wanted to be a brain surgeon, then a plastic surgeon, then a serial killer, then a porn star then it went back to wanting to be a psychiatrist and I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't really matter what I'm going to do professionally for I don't think a specific job is going to make me happy.

4. Lana's junior and high school years have been rather chaotic from what we know. How were/are yours?

Mine have been pretty uneventful, my parents have raised me really sheltered and I usually befriend the "good kids", I don't know exactly why, I'm just kind of attracted to intelligent people whom I think I could learn from. I did coke once when I was in fourth grade but I don't remember much about it and I haven't done it since so I guess it wasn't that great.

 

SH: WHAT GOODBYE ATARAXIA'S STATUS AS BADDEST BITCH
 

5. Do any of the words “sassy”, “fabulous”, or “flawless” describe you?

Well, I was the most "scandalous/sassy" member of 2012 **slow hairflip**
 

6. If you could bring two people back from the dead, have an exquisite dinner, and some great conversation with them...who would they be and what would you eat?

I'd choose Jim Morrison and John Lennon. I thought about choosing Kurt Cobain just to look at his magnificent face but he'd probably be in a bad mood and couldn't eat for he had stomach problems. I'd want to talk to Lennon for I feel like he had life figured out and I'd just want to get some life advice from him. Jim just seems like a really intelligent man to me and I'd want to know about his philosophical views on life, people and the world. Also, I think we should do coke and fuck. We'd eat Mexican food for I love Mexican food and haven't had it in ages.

 

SH: What if Lennon advised you against turning Jim Morrison into a pedophile?
 

7. Do you believe in any form of life after death?

I don't really, I fantasize about it a lot though. The idea that we just stop existing after death just seems really depressing to me and I wish there was some place where I could meet everyone I love again.

8. What do you see in people that you yourself wish to emulate?

Having a specific dream and making that come true, ~making your life a work of art~. It sounds cheesy but some people have actually managed to do that and I'd love to be able to do it myself.

9. If your balls were a celebrity couple, who would they be?

Can I change this to boobs? Then I'd choose Scarlett Johannson and Lana because they're both beautiful but not together.

 

SH: "lola: My boob couple isn't even a real thing #livefastdieyoung"

10. When did you become a fan of Lana? What was it about her that attracted you to her?

I became a fan of Lana in September 2011 when a friend of mine posted a video of "Oh Say Can You See" (I actually recently found the exact one here). The thing that attracted me was definitely her voice, it was really different to a lot of other shit I'd been listening to. Prior to discovering Lana, I was never that into music. I was aware of the existence of non-contemporary artists like The Beatles, Stones, Nirvana, Sinatra, Elvis etc. but I'd never really listened to them for I just wasn't surrounded by that kind of music. I was only aware of the music that was in the Top 40 and every week I'd go onto MTV's website, look at the Top 40, listen to all of the songs, pick 2-3 that I liked, listened to those a few times, get bored of them and start over, it was really gross. And Lana introduced me to other music. At first I downloaded her entire catalogue of songs, then I looked at her influences, listened to their songs, then I listened to those artists' influences and discovered music that was completely different from the Top 40 shit I had been listening to and music that spoke to me more.
 

11. Which Lana album is your favorite: Paradise, Born to Die, Lana Del Ray AKA Lizzy Grant, or Sirens?

I like listening to Sirens as a full album the most, it calms me down and I listened to it loads last summer so whenever I listen to Sirens now, it reminds of summer, beaches etc. I only like AKA when I listen to the songs individually. I like Born to Die but for most of the songs, I prefer the demo or live versions so I rarely listen to the actual songs from the album and Paradise is my least favourite. I only really listen to Ride and sometimes Bel Air.

 

SH: And not Yayo?
 

12. Favorite Lana song? Why?

I love the lyrics, I like the instrumental and the adorable "Let me put on a show for you, daddy". I feel like the song sums up Lana. If I met someone who had never heard a song of hers, I'd make them listen to Yayo for I think it's representative of her style, at least thematically. Sonically, her style has changed/evolved/been influenced by a highly limited producer.
 

SH: o

 

13. Least favorite Lana song? Why?

I don't think there's a song I really hate, there are songs I don't listen to though. "Moi Je Joue" for the vocals are mixed too low and I can't understand a word she's saying. Off of Born to Die, "Dark Paradise" is my least favourite, off of Paradise, "Cola" is my least favourite. "My pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola" is kind of cute but also completely braindead and something I'd expect from someone like Rihanna, not Lana, who can actually write nice songs.

SH:

 

 

14. If given the opportunity to meet Lana for an hour, what would you do/say?

I think I'd buy her a tiara, give it to her and tell her she's a beauty queen and I'd want to know about her past. Her childhood, teens and the Lizzy era. I'd want to know about her issues with alcohol and drugs, her failed relationships but also about the happy moments of her past.
 

15. Would you rather love and be loved or know all God knows?

Love and be loved, knowing all God knows would only hurt me.
 

16. Of all the unreleased videos and songs we have knowledge of, what do you thirst for most?

From the end and Rock me stable because we have no fucking clue what both of those are.

 

SH: Aim low :heidi:
 

17. Are you the leaker?

 
 

18. Are you Lana?

 

19. Are you Ben Mawson?

 

20. Did you answer the 3 questions above honestly?

 

SH:

21. Who are your favourite artists?

(alphabetically) Bad Brains, Beat Happening, the Beatles, Black Flag, Butthole Surfers, The Clash, Creedence Clearwater, Death Grips, The Doors, Dr. Dre, Eat Skull, Eminem, Erik Satie, Faith/Void, Flipper, Hole, Jay-Z, Jeff Buckley, Johnny Cash, Kanye West, Kendrick Lamar, Kleenex, The Knack, Lana, Leadbelly, Led Zeppelin, Leonard Cohen, Melvins, Mudhoney, N.W.A, Nine Ways To Win, Nirvana, Pixies, Public Enemy, Public Image Ltd., Sex Pistols, Sonic Youth, The Velvet Underground, The Wipers
 

22. What was the last book you read?

The last book I finished was On the Road by Jack Kerouac and I really don't get the hype. 
 

23. Recommend us a song (can’t be top 40/popular) that we just have to listen to!

Mhhh...there are lots of songs but I'll say Hole's "Retard Girl" for lots of people don't give Hole a chance for they don't like Courtney. "Retard Girl" is the first single they ever released and I think it's their best song or at least one of their best songs. It's about beating up the retarded girl at school and Courtney wrote it after she was almost raped and no one wanted to help her so it's a pretty angry song.

24. If you ever became a musician, what would you make your stage name?

Probably just an anglicized version of my real name. My name's German so no one who doesn't speak German fluently can pronounce it right and I think that would become annoying to everyone. I couldn't choose a stage name for I change my mind all of the time and I would start hating it after two weeks.

 

SH: What is German for Hannah Montana?
 

25. What comes after “Lana Del Rey” in your music library?

Leadbelly
 

26. Put your iPod/music library on shuffle and tell us which 10 songs are played. Don't skip, don't cheat!

1. Malfunkshun - "With Yo' Heart (Not Yo' Hands)"
2. N.W.A - "8 Ball (Remix)"
3. Bad Brains - "Sailin' On"
4. Jay-Z & Kanye West - "Murder to Excellence"
5. The Zombies - "Can't Nobody Love You"
6. R.E.M. - "Pop Song 89"
7. Beat Happening - "Pajama Party In A Haunted Hive"
8. Creedence Clearwater - "Cotton Fields"
9. Kleenex - "Eisiger Wind"
10. Nirvana - "Raunchola"

 

27. What are your thoughts on emotions, and the way that people express them?

Well, when I was in school, I was mostly surrounded by pubescent girls who had crazy mood swings so that was annoying as fuck. I never went through the mood swing phase, I'm a pretty stable person. One girl in my class called me "ice queen" and another one said I was a psychopath but once she cut herself pretty badly while shaving her pussy so she got hers. **slow hairflip**

 

SH: This is the reason we voted lola in, everyone. This question.
 

28. Do you hate anyone? If so, why?

Generally, I don't hate anyone. It's pretty hard to make me hate someone, if I don't like someone, I usually just ignore them, there are moments where I really hate certain people. For example, when I found out that Lennon was killed, that really upset me. I don't even know why, I was very young when I found that out and I hadn't even listened to the Beatles yet but I'd only ever heard positive stuff about him and I just couldn't understand why someone would want to kill him and that made me mad.
 

29. What are the small things in life that make you as happy as a clam?

Hm...I like when people are nice to me haha. Really though, when people are nice to me and show me that they actually like me and don't make me wonder whether they really like me, that makes me happy. And when people like me just for who I am, what I say etc. I had friends in school where I never really knew whether they liked me or not. I always had to compliment them, entertain them and say certain things for them to give me any attention and I wasn't particularly good at that for I'm a pretty honest and outspoken person and I tell people what I think of them and they just wanted someone who complimented them all day.

 

SH: Welp, 23 votes should do the trick Stick around.
 

30. What do you think your purpose is? Are you happy with where you are in life?

I don't think I have a specific purpose in life. No, I'm not particulary happy with where I am in life. I really just want to move out of my parents' home and move to a small town in Washington or Vermont for I always thought those places were nice when I was younger. Chansey informed me that Vermont is the least relevant state though so I'd probably go to Washington. I think I could be happy there, I just need people not to bother me and be surrounded by nature for I'm always happier outside. And I want to be able to choose the people I'm friends with. I went to a school with lots of snobby kids and I hate snobs so I wasn't particularly happy there but they were the only people I was surrounded by so I befriended those.

 

SH: Vermont is only good for having the slowest molasses

 

31. What is a characteristic / trait you see in others that you wish you had?

I wish I was more adventurous so I could enjoy life more but I'm pretty careful about everything I do. I usually think about what I'm going to say before I say it and think about what I do before I do it and I'd prefer not giving a shit.

 

32. What are your pet peeves / deal-breakers when it comes to friends/relationships?

I hate shallow people. And I hate shallow relationships. People who only talk about make-up, hair and fashion and spend all day complimenting each other hair annoy me. I love that we can talk about important things like religion and current events here and that you can actually get educated responses from people.
 

33. What would you say is your favorite physical trait + personality trait in potential partner?

I love funny people and intelligent people. I don't mean like scientist intelligent, just people who understand things quickly, are quick-witted, I like people I can learn from, whether it be a certain skill or just life experience. I'm really not that interested in looks, I'd rather be with a funny, intelligent average-looking person that someone who's absolutely beautiful and I could show off but doesn't have an interesting personality. When I see someone's face for the first time though, I look at their nose first.

BONUS: Is there anything you'd like to tell the community of LanaBoards?

Yes, I absolutely love this community. Thank you for voting for me! And if you didn't vote for me...I'll pray for you. I've been on a few forums but I've never met such nice, warm-hearted, intelligent and funny people on any of them. I adore that we can stan for Lana together and dig up stuff about her past and lanalyse her lyrics but also talk about everyday topics. I love TC-ing with you all day long and getting to know you better. I wish some of us could along better sometimes but conflict is a part of life, I guess. I love you all, my little kittens  And sorry if this wasn't as entertaining as you had hoped haha

 

[lola 6,616]

2. What's something not many people know about you or that we would be surprised to learn about?

Hm, I'll tell you a few things. When I was really little, like 3-4-5 years old, I spent hours in front of the TV watching MTV. I fucking loved MTV and I'm positive I saw all of the Nirvana videos during that time for when I watched them last fall, I felt like I'd already seen them and it was probably during my MTV phase. Then MTV turned to shit and I stopped watching it. I've regularly had head aches and stomach pain since I was little and I don't know why. When I was 14, I decided I was going to be a porn star for I didn't need any education to do so and it's good money. I planned the whole thing, decided which agent I was going to use, chose a name etc. etc. I had to go to detention once for sticking my tongue out at my teacher.

 

SH: ...Tell us the name, you can't just cliffhang in this bitch.

lmao it was MACKENZIE SULLIVAN. i wanted something ~american~ and generic so girls could identify w me and men could easily see me as their girlfriend/wife/mistress/daughter/idk what else men are into fucking so i googled some of the most common american names

[fruitpunchlips 815]

lmao it was MACKENZIE SULLIVAN. i wanted something ~american~ and generic so girls could identify w me and men could easily see me as their girlfriend/wife/mistress/daughter/idk what else men are into fucking so i googled some of the most common american names

that's really hard to type with your left hand though 

[lola 6,616]

that's really hard to type with your left hand though 

bookmark that shit

[YUNGATA 14,944]

lelel but also a little bit of eye roll and i know you know what i mean~~~~

 

 

love you wifey. you are the light of my life, fire of my loins. pls don't ever leave me     

[Matt 976]

congrats lola! you deserve it! great interview. listening to "retard girl" right now. 

[TrailerParkDarling 5,679]

ur music taste>>>> 

 

congrats!! luv ur interview, u are prty much perfecto

 

and this gave me 2nd hand pains    

 

 

One girl in my class called me "ice queen" and another one said I was a psychopath but once she cut herself pretty badly while shaving her pussy so she got hers. **slow hairflip**

 

:deadbanana:

[Rafael 3,510]

What a great read! #LolaForPrez 

 

27. What are your thoughts on emotions, and the way that people express them?

Well, when I was in school, I was mostly surrounded by pubescent girls who had crazy mood swings so that was annoying as fuck. I never went through the mood swing phase, I'm a pretty stable person. One girl in my class called me "ice queen" and another one said I was a psychopath but once she cut herself pretty badly while shaving her pussy so she got hers. **slow hairflip**

 

SH: This is the reason we voted lola in, everyone. This question.

 

~ Keep them other girls at bay
Oh, I will blow them all away
They're disgusting, I'm delicious ~

 

[Hundred Dollar Bill 21,460]

this is perfection in text form, all of it.

[Monicker 3,030]

Oh man, i had completely forgotten about the existence of Retard Girl and hadn’t heard it in literally 20 years. Wh a t  a  r  e y   o   u   d     o  i  n g       t o       m   e    l o l a  ? What is time? Where am i right now? 

[Viva 3,168]

This interview is as good as Rumtrüffel

 

 

21. Who are your favourite artists?

(alphabetically) Bad Brains, Beat Happening, the Beatles, Black Flag, Butthole Surfers, The Clash, Creedence Clearwater, Death Grips, The Doors, Dr. Dre, Eat Skull, Eminem, Erik Satie, Faith/Void, Flipper, Hole, Jay-Z, Jeff Buckley, Johnny Cash, Kanye West, Kendrick Lamar, Kleenex, The Knack, Lana, Leadbelly, Led Zeppelin, Leonard Cohen, Melvins, Mudhoney, N.W.A, Nine Ways To Win, Nirvana, Pixies, Public Enemy, Public Image Ltd., Sex Pistols, Sonic Youth, The Velvet Underground, The Wipers
 

 

Let's listen to music together !! OMFG another girl who REALLY likes Sex Pistols,Nirvana, Hole and The Velvet Underground. How rare and refreshing. I think I lurveee you.

 

 

2. What's something not many people know about you or that we would be surprised to learn about?

....When I was 14, I decided I was going to be a porn star for I didn't need any education to do so and it's good money. I planned the whole thing, decided which agent I was going to use, chose a name etc. etc....

 

was MACKENZIE SULLIVAN. i wanted something ~american~ and generic so girls could identify w me and men could easily see me as their girlfriend/wife/mistress/daughter/idk what else men are into fucking so i googled some of the most common american names

 

We should have a thread for great quotes and answers tbh. This is too precious.   You even thought about the business side of selling your German body around. What type of name would make them more horny for you. Truly inspiring. I predict a great future for you in the business world

[Baby V Alex 2,858]

The fact tha if Lola wasn't up to vote, this interview will be about MEY!!!

 

Lola Y do U hate me?

 

hahahahaha

 

 

Love hte Boobs answer <3

[foxgrl 494]

am i in love i htink i am

[Hello Heaven 1,575]

Congrats Lola! loved the interview

And good luck with the porn star career xx <3

[phahad 691]

 I wish some of us could along better sometimes but conflict is a part of life, I guess. I love you all, my little kittens  

 

 

i know you don't like that movie much, but this fit. lol

 

 

[phahad 691]

24. If you ever became a musician, what would you make your stage name?

Probably just an anglicized version of my real name. My name's German so no one who doesn't speak German fluently can pronounce it right and I think that would become annoying to everyone. I couldn't choose a stage name for I change my mind all of the time and I would start hating it after two weeks.

wait... your name ISN'T lola????      

[xNoirx 657]

oooh mackenzie sullivan i love it!

 

loved the interview wifey 

 

your music taste >>>>>>

 

we need to go see Death Grips together one day tbh that would be amazing!

[DUKE 2,526]

Wonderful interview, lola!

I laughed so hard at the part with the girl cutting herself while shaving her pussy.

Also, I'm glad to see that you don't really hate anyone... I always had this feeling you hated my guts for whatever reason. But I always assume everyone does, actually. I also like your taste in music. Well, I just like you in general.   (this is the first time I ever use this emote)

 

Nice comments, too, Sitar! 

 

 

                         

 

[evilentity 13,303]

When I was 14, I decided I was going to be a porn star for I didn't need any education to do so and it's good money.

Not for long. Who pays for porn anymore when there's the internet tinychat? Better get that education.

 

I planned the whole thing, decided which agent I was going to use

This guy?

 

7. Do you believe in any form of life after death?

I don't really, I fantasize about it a lot though. The idea that we just stop existing after death just seems really depressing to me and I wish there was some place where I could meet everyone I love again.

Off of Born to Die, "Dark Paradise" is my least favourite

How is "Dark Paradise" not your favorite song? Oh yeah, it sucks.

 

Mudhoney

Malfunkshun - "With Yo' Heart (Not Yo' Hands)"

I never got into Mudhoney or Malfunkshun that much myself, but as a grunge fan I'm impressed nonetheless. 

 

One girl in my class called me "ice queen" and another one said I was a psychopath but once she cut herself pretty badly while shaving her pussy so she got hers. **slow hairflip**

I don't hate anyone. It's pretty hard to make me hate someone

  

 

SH: Vermont is only good for having the slowest molasses

It's also sort of a liberal paradise.

[butterflies 3,039]

Yes Lola I hate you!!! Bitch!!! First you stole my Ata and now you took my crown!!! 

 

 

 

jk. 

 

Now honestly...

 

I, member of the Millennium   , can honestly say that you deserve it because you're beautiful and very kind person.

And I really enjoyed to read this! I love you so much honey!!!