LanaFlowers

Born to Die is a cosmo. Paradise is a suburban. Ultraviolence is Jack Daniels Silver Select. Honeymoon is tequila sunrise, or sangria. Lust for Life is 80 proof vodka neat, margarita, cherry sour and long island iced tea -all of them, one after the other. NFR is hemlock.

But all the men worth meeting are recovering alcoholics

I assumed we were to pick our favorite one

I always thought it was super weird she never got a boob job. Nobody really got their lips done back in 2008/09 (when Lana first got fillers). For the most part it was something pornstars and middle aged trophy wives did. And the nose job? I mean I love her current nose but it looked just fine before. Nose jobs have always been popular but she didn't have the kind of nose that people make fun of, it was a perfectly normal looking nose. Her breasts on the other hand... Knowing her, that should have been her first trip to the surgeon. Huge fake tits were massively popular in the 00s and early 2010s. Guys loved them, and mainstream culture loved them too, no matter how unflattering they looked. Not everyone wanted their boobs to look like that, some girls only wanted to go one size up, but it was pretty much assumed that if you had small breasts, you were/should be saving up for plastic surgery.
 
Back then, nobody really cared about your eyebrows, your cheekbones, your chin, the size of your lips, your thighs, your waist, your ass (it was actually a bad thing to have a huge ass), etc. But you had to be skinny with big tits, even if those tits were two basketballs stretching your skin to its limits. It wasn't something I had to worry about, I was a D cup at 12, but I remember how everyone used to make fun of girls with small breasts. Being flat-chested was like, the worst thing to be next to fat (no such thing as "thicc" back then). Girls like Lana were the type that developed a boob cream obsession at 13, and started begging their parents to let them get implants at 15
 
So, it's strange to me, but I'm glad all that pressure didn't get to her. I can't imagine Lana with huge plastic G cups.

Such a bummer that none of the picosong links work anymore...

he WISHES

Elizabeth was way cooler than this
 
This is Bess or some shit

This is the woman who writes about crustaceans and tesla cars people. Same girl. Wtf.

I have NEVER understood why people thought TBD was about a miscarriage. This song? Yeah I could see it. But TBD is clearly about a man to me

I think she wrote this song with the child she wishes she had/the child she wants to have in mind.

Funny how "bloated" and "overproduced" Born To Die manages to sound timeless yet still fresh at the same time, whereas other albums have aged like milk and it's only been 2 years

This is actually something I'm not sure belongs here! I don't think it's a lie per se. We know from HTD, with its "John" who is most likely Josh, and "Jim" which in this case is Joe, that she's not opposed to using a fake name to refer to a real person. "Jim" could be a place instead of a person, a place in her life that several men have filled. He could be somewhat of a stereotype, a caricature of her "type" -she has mentioned before that she always falls for the same type of guy. Maybe there was only one real "Jim", only one real man with that name, who came into her life before the others, and he had such a strong impact on her that she kept trying to find him in other men who were sufficiently like him. Maybe "Jim" is Lana's nymphet lol.

This is the woman who writes about crustaceans and tesla cars people. Same girl. Wtf.

the worst part about this is that his lana story is probably true

Joe Schilling, he was the fuckboy she dated before ch*se

sloths
 
apparently

and Rob, and Mike, and Bill, and a couple more I'm forgetting....

the way i will never listen to this song again

*Yawn*  Highly Bland and underwhelming. With a song title like that I pictured her going in the Portishead's *Glory Box* direction. A wasted opportunity. She needs to fire JackOff right away. He is killing her creative spark and making her release Grandmaesque songs. 
The song should be Retitled *Let Me Love You Like A Grandma* 
 
 

Imagine being in your mid thirties and behaving like a naive, bratty, spoilt teenager. Can't relate  

honestly yeah this is basically what it boils down to  i'm not even sure why I'm surprised that she's behaving this way after question for the culture (especially after calling out FKA's pole dancing for literally no reason other than to be annoying) or her driving with her foot on the dash on a windy ass road. i can appreciate that she's *not conforming to industry standards* but it's a bit much honey, and at the end of the day it just looks like ignorant white teenage girl shit. this isn't really an artsy, empowering thing, she's putting people's lives in danger to promote a poetry book lol

Ngl I’m a little concerned about her. Not suggesting she’s suffering from mental health issues but her behavior is out of character and just weird imo. Idk maybe she’s fine but something bothers me about all this self-inflicted controversy.

this sounds great but all of this requires effort and no not just from the people around her but also lana herself and that is something she very rarely served these past few eras (except for her art itself), some people have pointed that out quite a few times already that lana keeps behaving unprofessionally but a lot of her fans (and there’s plenty of those pseudo alternative-whatever u want to call them we-hate-taylor-swift-and-gaga-because-these-pop-stars-are-fake stans on here too) who kept praising lana for being lazy and half assed about almost every release in a good while because apparently that’s authenticity and “music not the bling”.
 
this goes hand in hand with people saying she needs a social media team and not manage it herself and that she needs to hire people around her comfort zone for things like touring and promo and yes we can see that lana does promote despite people saying she doesn’t, that pop-up shop she had was promo too or that little tour she did for lfl.. but the majority of it is always so badly planned and like effort that’s being directed into a dead-end alley that i don’t understand why she won’t put effort into things which .. would give her better promo than gifting her old clothes to the same group of people she sees at almost ever other LA-based event.
 
and well i won’t even go in depth about why the covid-party i mean the book signing wasn’t just a bad idea but catastrophic.
other than the writer you posted about taylor swift literally released an album and the entire campaign was run without her having to appear with fans anywhere and there were plenty of signed items that were shipped to indie stores without someone actively trying to group all of those people together in a small room at once. 
 
 
the fact that instead of a small quiet book roll out we got this mess after mess with the perfect timing of some major misstep happening right when people start(ed) to forget about the other shit she’s done this year is just the tip of the iceberg and ironically probably the best comedy for people like that one journalist she dm’d to fuck herself or other haters who have been coming for her for years, and all of this following the critically acclaimed and completely boring and uneventful NFR era.... a kii 

The only good thing I can say is that I love her outfit and hair. 
 
She looks like a really beautiful idiot.