Norman Fucking Rockwell - Pre-Release Thread

[SparkleJumpropeNoose 8,750]

Don't worry somebody luvs u 

Bro I might cry thank u so much for saying that................. 

[Say Yes to Heaven 27,435]

Omg if Lana actually died i think id have a legit breakdown for a hot moment.

[American Whore 51,090]

i am Hispanic i think I know more than you

Doesn’t matter lol I still know Spanish. Where you’re from doesn’t mean you can’t be bilingual (prolly one of the biggest misconceptions of Americans..... a lot of us grew up in areas that speak Spanish so we speak it too)

[MoreCruelThanYou 5,277]

Okay this is the meanest thing I will ever write here and I would never wish it but seriously if Lana died they would put out NFR posthumously like right away to try to get all that coin

[Say Yes to Heaven 27,435]

Doesn’t matter lol I still know Spanish. Where you’re from doesn’t mean you can’t be bilingual (prolly one of the biggest misconceptions of Americans..... a lot of us grew up in areas that speak Spanish so we speak it too)

oh I don't speak Spanish fluently but i understand it (-:

[Rorman Nockwell 56,493]

If Lana died in a car accident I don’t know what I’d do. Probably run down the street screaming and crying. Omg I’m panicking thinking about it. It sounds so pathetic for a ‘musician’ who I’ve never personally met.

 

Omg if Lana actually died i think id have a legit breakdown for a hot moment.

 

Jesus, guys ... we're depressed enough with the lack of news

[Make me your Dream Life 87,457]

Bro I might cry thank u so much for saying that................. 

Not me but someone  idk who 

[Wynwood 19,967]

"ponga tu pene en mi culo y chupame las tetas" means "Lana stans need to be patient in waiting for NFR" 

[lernerderrey 2,415]

leak regina sunset 

[American Whore 51,090]

oh I don't speak Spanish fluently but i understand it (-:

What’s your point again? I’m not following, you said you’re Hispanic and now you don’t speak Spanish fluently WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY

 

I—

 

Almost too much Lanaboards for me in a day

[SparkleJumpropeNoose 8,750]

leak regina sunset 

hey what is regina sunset omg i did not know that we even had potential HM outtakes

Not me but someone  idk who 

Oh I know skskksksk I was just reminded of the fact I am loved by those around me and the general population since I am a beloved cultural figure after all and it fuels my little narcissistic heart

[MoreCruelThanYou 5,277]

What’s your point again? I’m not following, you said you’re Hispanic and now you don’t speak Spanish fluently WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY

 

I—

 

Almost too much Lanaboards for me in a day

Forgive syth, he’s a troll through and through. Don’t really know why he comes on here anymore other than to fuck w people

[SparkleJumpropeNoose 8,750]

Forgive syth, he’s a troll through and through. Don’t really know why he comes on here anymore other than to fuck w people

Omg miss thing is done skkskgjsgl

[mkultraviolence 5,832]

i like syth

[Cacciatore 19,347]

un bando de putas thats what y'all are

[lernerderrey 2,415]

hey what is regina sunset

 

pr0bably the dem0 versi0n 0f life is beautiful 

 

a fake title going around during the uv era

[MoreCruelThanYou 5,277]

pr0bably the dem0 versi0n 0f life is beautiful

 

a fake title going around during the uv era

I thought it was supposed to be the first single from HM

[American Whore 51,090]

I thought it was supposed to be the first single from HM

You’re thinking of vagina sunsweat it’s the demo version

 

(jk lol)

[Gone user 5,372]

You’re thinking of vagina sunsweat it’s the demo version

 

(jk lol)

 

hey don't say that about a Lana song. Lana would never call a song like that, I find it very disrespectful that you wrote that. If I was Lana I would be very disappointed in my fans.

[mkultraviolence 5,832]

Guys, I came up with a very serious theory and I have to present it to you. I'm not trying to make you guys believe it's true... but it is. 

First of all we have Lana Del Rey. Or Lizzy Grant. Or Sparkle Jump Rope Queen. Or whatever name she decides to have after waking up from her 14 hours of sleep. Young artist who loves to lie, but also makes great music. She was hugely dedicated to her music career up until 2015, when she gave 0 fucks about it and forgot about tours and promotion and blablabla. She then tried to come back to her music but it wasn't the same. Her lanadelreyators are still waiting for her new album, Norman Fucking Rockwell.

 

Now, in the other hand, we have a different person: Cardi B. Young and controversial rapper that became famous in 2017 with her hit "Bodak Yellow" 

 

Now here's what I have to say: When people talk about Cardi B's past, before being famous, they say she was a stripper that gained a lot of money and liked to drug men. She debuted in 2015 with her first remix of a song called Boom Boom. See how this all makes sense? Lana Del Rey stopped giving a fuck about her career right when Cardi B, an unknown rapper, made her debut in the hip hop scene... 2015... when Lana Del Grant also implemented HIP HOP BEATS into her music (Honeymoon)... Strange... right?

Also it's very weird how Cardi B's pre-fame life sounds just a Lana Del Rey song... drugs... men... money and being a stripper (does anyone remember Tropico?)

Another thing: Cardi B isn't Cardi B's real name! She's called Belcalis Almanzar... who else is famous for having different names? That's right: Lana Del Rey. Also Cardi B sounds really tropical. Do you know who once said that she got inspired by tropical friends or whatever for her stage name? You guessed it: Lana Del Ray.

My theory (which is true by the way) is that Lana got bored of her sad music career and decided that she wanted to try something new: hip hop. It obviously would be something very shocking for everyone, so she gave us some small hip hop influences on her own album and decided to launch a new career under a different name and a different look. Why does she look so different when she's on her Cardi B costume¿ Don't ask me, ask @lanadelrey on instagram or twitter. While she was on her Cardi B journey, she discovered that hip hop made her really successful, so she tried adding more of these beats onto her next LDR album, Lust For Life, but they sounded cheap as fuck for whatever reason. Beacasue of this she decided to continue as Cardi B and leave Lana Del Rey as a side project. That's why she has released just a few songs so randomly and without any promotion. She also decided to add PROFANITY to her album title (Norman Fucking R*******), and Cardi B is kinda famous for her profanity!!!!

 

My last evidence to convince all of you is this one: have you ever seen Lana del Rey and Cardi B in the same room at the same time? I know I haven't!

I know Cardi B (aka lana del rey on disguise) will continue to pretend like she comes from the Bronx and was a stripper, but we know Lana loves to lie! (check out the Lies Lana Has Told Us Thread for proof).

I hope yall believe this truth and start considering why Lana has left us!!!!! 

 

 

i'd like to nominate this for lb twitter

my thing isn't letting me quote it idk y but i believe it was hanging froot like 1 or 2 pages back