Norman Fucking Rockwell - Pre-Release Thread

[Nobody 21,545]

why would someone even stick their head in an oven to kill themselves? That would be painful as hell and also looooong as hell (a turkey takes like 4 hours). There are far quicker/painless ways to go..

[movebaby 5,379]

She left it in too long and now it’s burning

tbh the whole fucking house is up in flames

[Foxglove 2,266]

I summoned a demon to convince Jacking Antonoff to hand over the wav files, ladies. I have the album, it's 14 tracks including the interlude. I've never heard anything more beautiful. The production is spare but when it goes it goes the fuck off. Doin Time is not on it, there are no features, and Hope has an alternate version with diff lyrics and production. I will send it to anyone for only $666 and a signed copy of your firstborn. DM me your bank account info, thanks!

[Make me your Dream Life 87,893]

I summoned a demon to convince Jacking Antonoff to hand over the wav files, ladies. I have the album, it's 14 tracks including the interlude. I've never heard anything more beautiful. The production is spare but when it goes it goes the fuck off. Doin Time is not on it, there are no features, and Hope has an alternate version with diff lyrics and production. I will send it to anyone for only $666 and a signed copy of your firstborn. DM me your bank account info, thanks!

i think u might've been played 

[Say Yes to Heaven 27,515]

You literally posted the screenshot of listening to No Surprises on your phone to your IG story, whats not clicking? Idk why you come on here just to embarrass yourself, it really is sad to watch

It was on your IG story. Does anyone else have a screenshot??? I’m sorry I didnt realize I need to take it upon myself to screenshot every little thing you do in order for you not to be a liar

How would i know it even exists (which you yourself have confirmed) if you hadnt posted about it? Make it make sense

It honestly KILLS me when the leakers try to turn it around and play victim (Eclipse anyone?). THAT’S honestly the biggest joke of this era, not even NFR not being released yet

youre literally wrong, because i know for a fact I never posted anything about that song. It was honeymouns, i saw the post myself. Now please fact check better before you try to say stuff

[111 36,699]

no surprises ain't real it was a cover by some random girl passed around as lana 

 

bye bye 

[Make me your Dream Life 87,893]

Do u think she's talking about powdered cinnamon- or like, the stripper name kind ? 

[Foxglove 2,266]

Do u think she's talking about powdered cinnamon- or like, the stripper name kind ? 

[Say Yes to Heaven 27,515]

Are y'all STILL fighting?? omg in this period???

not really my fault

[MoreCruelThanYou 5,277]

Do u think she's talking about powdered cinnamon- or like, the stripper name kind ?

Omg Lana is a cannibal, confirmed

[Rorman Nockwell 56,760]

I summoned a demon to convince Jacking Antonoff to hand over the wav files, ladies. I have the album, it's 14 tracks including the interlude. I've never heard anything more beautiful. The production is spare but when it goes it goes the fuck off. Doin Time is not on it, there are no features, and Hope has an alternate version with diff lyrics and production. I will send it to anyone for only $666 and a signed copy of your firstborn. DM me your bank account info, thanks!

 

 

Guess it's all the more reason we should just let it flop then 

 

[MoreCruelThanYou 5,277]

youre literally wrong, because i know for a fact I never posted anything about that song. It was honeymouns, i saw the post myself. Now please fact check better before you try to say stuff

no surprises ain't real it was a cover by some random girl passed around as lana

 

bye bye

[American Whore 51,340]

Why can’t Jack Off&On just leak it I mean

[Gone user 5,373]

Guys, I came up with a very serious theory and I have to present it to you. I'm not trying to make you guys believe it's true... but it is. 

First of all we have Lana Del Rey. Or Lizzy Grant. Or Sparkle Jump Rope Queen. Or whatever name she decides to have after waking up from her 14 hours of sleep. Young artist who loves to lie, but also makes great music. She was hugely dedicated to her music career up until 2015, when she gave 0 fucks about it and forgot about tours and promotion and blablabla. She then tried to come back to her music but it wasn't the same. Her lanadelreyators are still waiting for her new album, Norman Fucking Rockwell.

 

Now, in the other hand, we have a different person: Cardi B. Young and controversial rapper that became famous in 2017 with her hit "Bodak Yellow" 

 

Now here's what I have to say: When people talk about Cardi B's past, before being famous, they say she was a stripper that gained a lot of money and liked to drug men. She debuted in 2015 with her first remix of a song called Boom Boom. See how this all makes sense? Lana Del Rey stopped giving a fuck about her career right when Cardi B, an unknown rapper, made her debut in the hip hop scene... 2015... when Lana Del Grant also implemented HIP HOP BEATS into her music (Honeymoon)... Strange... right?

Also it's very weird how Cardi B's pre-fame life sounds just a Lana Del Rey song... drugs... men... money and being a stripper (does anyone remember Tropico?)

Another thing: Cardi B isn't Cardi B's real name! She's called Belcalis Almanzar... who else is famous for having different names? That's right: Lana Del Rey. Also Cardi B sounds really tropical. Do you know who once said that she got inspired by tropical friends or whatever for her stage name? You guessed it: Lana Del Ray.

My theory (which is true by the way) is that Lana got bored of her sad music career and decided that she wanted to try something new: hip hop. It obviously would be something very shocking for everyone, so she gave us some small hip hop influences on her own album and decided to launch a new career under a different name and a different look. Why does she look so different when she's on her Cardi B costume¿ Don't ask me, ask @@lanadelrey on instagram or twitter. While she was on her Cardi B journey, she discovered that hip hop made her really successful, so she tried adding more of these beats onto her next LDR album, Lust For Life, but they sounded cheap as fuck for whatever reason. Beacasue of this she decided to continue as Cardi B and leave Lana Del Rey as a side project. That's why she has released just a few songs so randomly and without any promotion. She also decided to add PROFANITY to her album title (Norman Fucking R*******), and Cardi B is kinda famous for her profanity!!!!

 

My last evidence to convince all of you is this one: have you ever seen Lana del Rey and Cardi B in the same room at the same time? I know I haven't!

I know Cardi B (aka lana del rey on disguise) will continue to pretend like she comes from the Bronx and was a stripper, but we know Lana loves to lie! (check out the Lies Lana Has Told Us Thread for proof).

I hope yall believe this truth and start considering why Lana has left us!!!!! 

[Make me your Dream Life 87,893]

Cinnamun not cinnaHERPES

[Beautiful Loser 48,894]

Guys, I came up with a very serious theory and I have to present it to you. I'm not trying to make you guys believe it's true... but it is. 

First of all we have Lana Del Rey. Or Lizzy Grant. Or Sparkle Jump Rope Queen. Or whatever name she decides to have after waking up from her 14 hours of sleep. Young artist who loves to lie, but also makes great music. She was hugely dedicated to her music career up until 2015, when she gave 0 fucks about it and forgot about tours and promotion and blablabla. She then tried to come back to her music but it wasn't the same. Her lanadelreyators are still waiting for her new album, Norman Fucking Rockwell.

 

Now, in the other hand, we have a different person: Cardi B. Young and controversial rapper that became famous in 2017 with her hit "Bodak Yellow" 

 

Now here's what I have to say: When people talk about Cardi B's past, before being famous, they say she was a stripper that gained a lot of money and liked to drug men. She debuted in 2015 with her first remix of a song called Boom Boom. See how this all makes sense? Lana Del Rey stopped giving a fuck about her career right when Cardi B, an unknown rapper, made her debut in the hip hop scene... 2015... when Lana Del Grant also implemented HIP HOP BEATS into her music (Honeymoon)... Strange... right?

Also it's very weird how Cardi B's pre-fame life sounds just a Lana Del Rey song... drugs... men... money and being a stripper (does anyone remember Tropico?)

Another thing: Cardi B isn't Cardi B's real name! She's called Belcalis Almanzar... who else is famous for having different names? That's right: Lana Del Rey. Also Cardi B sounds really tropical. Do you know who once said that she got inspired by tropical friends or whatever for her stage name? You guessed it: Lana Del Ray.

My theory (which is true by the way) is that Lana got bored of her sad music career and decided that she wanted to try something new: hip hop. It obviously would be something very shocking for everyone, so she gave us some small hip hop influences on her own album and decided to launch a new career under a different name and a different look. Why does she look so different when she's on her Cardi B costume¿ Don't ask me, ask @@lanadelrey on instagram or twitter. While she was on her Cardi B journey, she discovered that hip hop made her really successful, so she tried adding more of these beats onto her next LDR album, Lust For Life, but they sounded cheap as fuck for whatever reason. Beacasue of this she decided to continue as Cardi B and leave Lana Del Rey as a side project. That's why she has released just a few songs so randomly and without any promotion. She also decided to add PROFANITY to her album title (Norman Fucking R*******), and Cardi B is kinda famous for her profanity!!!!

 

My last evidence to convince all of you is this one: have you ever seen Lana del Rey and Cardi B in the same room at the same time? I know I haven't!

I know Cardi B (aka lana del rey on disguise) will continue to pretend like she comes from the Bronx and was a stripper, but we know Lana loves to lie! (check out the Lies Lana Has Told Us Thread for proof).

I hope yall believe this truth and start considering why Lana has left us!!!!! 

Omg, it makes so much sense! Lana has East Coast roots and can't use her New York accent anymore because she's known as a Cali and LA gal now, so she invented Cardi B to have a reason to use her NY accent she'd missed so much!

How have I never noticed this??

[Coney Island King 26,003]

when do we think we will realistically get the album cover???

November, with the album out in early 2020 x

[CmonDownToFL 6,680]

Lucky, mine hits me the whole year

Me too sister but fall/winter is when I really get gangbanged

[SparkleJumpropeNoose 8,750]

no surprises ain't real it was a cover by some random girl passed around as lana 

 

bye bye 

just woke up and am going back to sleep indefinitely. in fact i'm just gonna go die

[CmonDownToFL 6,680]

Can someone explain to me what the no surprise thing is about? I miss most posts because I’m at work & these people think I’m here to actually work. How disrespectful