Norman Fucking Rockwell - Pre-Release Thread

[LanasLeftCheekFiller 3,382]

What do you mean  SEMPTBEMBER??

 

Can she please run me over cause I'm tirED of waiting.

"oh my god she doesn't owe you anything you ungrateful troglodyte. n e way stream Doib' time  "

[domandapiano 11,597]

Who tweeted it? lil gay Joey with the fake tea?

[CmonDownToFL 6,680]

Wait who said that

[domandapiano 11,597]

Thinking about it, when we all decided Happiness might actually be the title track, she legit IMMEDIATELY stopped that rumor by posting irrefutable evidence otherwise. Maybe if we all push a new date or if we all claim we have insider info of the real date she’ll feel compelled to let ppl know what’s up.

[Beautiful Loser 46,094]

i really dont think lana cares about it flopping. the momentum is gone. people are tired. i feel like this whole era is like sexting lana but she replies back 6 months later and now your boner is gone. she hasnt done interviews or promotions, seems like she just doesnt give a shit about how many people buy it or how critics and fans rate it, imo

All of this, and let me add that I even *I* don't care if it flops anymore. I'm tired of this shit.

[CmonDownToFL 6,680]

I mean I wouldn’t be surprised, in fact, it feels more realistic for it to come September (or later) than actually in August but I’m trying to figure out who said the September thing

[Dominikx4 25,029]

Thinking about it, when we all decided Happiness might actually be the title track, she legit IMMEDIATELY stopped that rumor by posting irrefutable evidence otherwise. Maybe if we all push a new date or if we all claim we have insider info of the real date she’ll feel compelled to let ppl know what’s up.

ppl have been speculating about HIAB being the title track since January this year, so no, she does not respond to lanaboards threads

[Wynwood 19,966]

me walking out of interscope records after dropping off my stan card on september 30th 

[LanasLeftCheekFiller 3,382]

Norman Stinkin'™ Rockwell out September 12.  Marinated Apartment Complex teas   

[Crimson and Clover 22,121]

we’re really trusting some rando huh

[Wynwood 19,966]

K-12 is really coming before NFR huh

[domandapiano 11,597]

I feel like half of us always expected September as a possibility anyways so that insider info is trash. Unless you give us a DATE and a REASON to believe that YOU of ALL PEOPLE somehow got hold of exclusive info that no one else seems to have been made privy to, you can choke on one of Lana Del Rey’s dry ass looking burger patties in Malibu.

[SparkleJumpropeNoose 8,749]

With all this talk of a secret show, maybe all this extreme unprofessionalism is just a front. Behind it all is an extremely planned out album with a real boxset this time included Lana's book, a CD, lithographs that aren't just iPhone 7 photos taken by Chuck, and a c*l*r v*nyl. There's gonna be a tour summer 2020. There'll be exclusive listening parties. It all makes sense. After LFL seeming like a career suicide to Lana fans, she's reincarnating with this current era. We've all been convinced she's killed off the Lana Del Rey persona but really she's ~reinventing~.

 

now that my post-morning juice delusion is out of my system let's all think about how good the Honeymoon era was and how we took it for granted

[CmonDownToFL 6,680]

Ok you know what lona.

 

Suicide pact anyone? I get out of work in like 11 hours

[13beachess 7,512]

oh ok fuck so I KNEW "it's coming in out in two months" was  probably TOO good to be true 

[SweetHenny 14,467]

Alright, I have COMPLETELY LEGIT info. A friend of my school friend's cousin's friend washes floors in Interscope office and spilled some tea. I will share it with you,guys, though I promised not to tell. Apparently he heard that the album lead single is a collab with Lana's insta-baddies friends called "Matcha Club" which just consists of the sounds of them cruelly laughing and sipping matcha tea. There's also a song "Cleansing" (feat Hillsong Choir) which is about the extermination of the gays from the face of the planet. The silent treatment she gave us during this era was actually a promo and she will later reveal that it was a way to show the world a means of how to make gays suffer. The album will be released on December 25 and will feature a Christmas painting by Norman Rockwell with the inscription "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to Everyone Except Faggots!"

I'm not lying, guys, this is 100% true. You may pay me via PayPal for that info, if you want    

[Flowerbomb 65,555]

Ok you know what lona.

 

Suicide pact anyone? I get out of work in like 11 hours

 

Count me in. How should we go out? Thelma and Louise style?

 

[Cacciatore 19,346]

Ok you know what lona.

 

Suicide pact anyone? I get out of work in like 11 hours

 

Finally a good idea! In 11 hours it will be 1 am around here which is the witching hour so it's perfect for me.

[domandapiano 11,597]

Suicide Pregnancy pact anyone? 

 

 

I saw a lifetime movie about this; we have the children, name them Norman Fucking Rockwell. They'll still come before the album and then Lana's album will no longer be the first of its name. Clearly the most dedicated form of protesting this lazy era. 

[Psychedelic Pussy 28,941]

Wow so we really all about to kill ourselves huh..