Blue Banisters - Pre-Release Thread: OUT October 22nd, 2021

[That Venice Bitch 28,148]

Just now, whitelungswhitepalms said:

My sensitive ass is gonna cry at the reviews if they treat the unreleased tracks badly PLEASEEEEEE THEY’RE SO IMPORTANT TO ME 

I also hope they have an understanding of how old these songs are and how important they still are to her story! Do your research, reviewers!

[CinnamonGay 10,527]

...that review was actually going pretty great...until they decided to majorly slander her in 2 lines...

[Rocket0212 2,055]

You better prepare. I don't think reviewers will like this album that much. Probably something between 70 and 75 in the end (scores are so inflated right now that 75 sounds like a 50. Shows how useless these "critics" are.)

[CinnamonGay 10,527]

Pitchfork u better give our queen a 10 or we will set fire to ur office 

[prettywhenimhigh 49,329]

me rn:

 

mary (scared of pitchfork)

[VioletPrincess 962]

10 minutes ago, your dealer said:

i enjoyed reading the review and really liked this line:

 

In some ways Banisters feels like the purest distillation of the Lana Del Rey project, the grandeur and grasping of her earlier albums fused with her more recent music’s romance and scope. The twinkling closing track “Sweet Carolina” reads like a parody of Lana lyrics, a blast of found poetry for a broken era: “You name your babe Lilac Heaven/ After your iPhone 11/ ‘Crypto forever,’ screams your stupid boyfriend/ Fuck you, Kevin.” Only Lana could make this work.

 

only tea was spilled here

Wait, that's one of her lyrics?? NO joke I have three different Kevins who are literally ruining my life rn - yall the connection her and I share . . . her mind 

[Alison by Slowdive 26,146]

as long as anthony fantano hates it, i'm good 

[Jeanne Dielman 5,982]

4 minutes ago, CinnamonGay said:

Pitchfork u better give our queen a 10 or we will set fire to ur office 

 

Thankfully they haven't dragged any of the singles so far and put Text Book on their Spotify playlist so I hope it'll get (at least) a 7ish score from them. I mean, they shat on every single Lorde released this year and still gave a 6.8 score to Solar Power so I guess we're...good? 

[NikoGo 60,799]

That review is…..something. 
 

there’s so many backhanded compliments and straight factually incorrect things sprinkled through. I was hoping the album was gonna be a success with critics but now it’s seeming like maybe it won’t be. 
 

At least they didn’t mention any of her controversies 

[yourolllikethunder 4,886]

On 10/19/2021 at 1:44 PM, yourolllikethunder said:

I scoured Pitchfork and they did have COCC on a most anticipated list then ended up giving it a 7.5 (same as Honeymoon, which had no Best New Track awards either). I think they usually pick one album to feature in their post to check out these anticipated album lists, so it’s not *too* special. However, I do have a feeling, as a frequent Pitchfork reader and critic for a small music outlet myself, that BB will get just a slightly higher rating. I think it’s promising that they recently chose to rescore BTD from a 5.5 to 7.8. The thing that makes me believe it will not get Best New Music is because I believe nearly always at least one single from a Best New Album gets awarded Best New Track prior to release.
 

None of the tringles or Arcadia got BNT. When we consider that “Love” got BNT but LFL got a 7.7, that leaves me more concerned that BB, with no BNTs, will be scored lower than LFL — UNLESS they award BNT to a different track on Friday/release day.

 

So on these context clues alone, my guess is they’re going to give BB *gulps* a 7.6 (one point above COCC)… but I have not heard the album so I will update this post once I’ve heard it and can make a more educated guess. 
 

side note - Pitchfork has a habit of awarding close follow-ups within one point of each other. Example: folklore = 8 but evermore = 7.9… so under this theory a 7.6 for BB would fit their usual rubric for whatever reason…

After reading this first review, I’m starting to believe my own prediction more. I would love to be wrong and see Pitchfork come out of the woodwork w/ an 8+  We will see…

[DCooper 36,915]

12 minutes ago, rightofjupiter said:

 

yeah i kind of want a real lana-head to review this record cuz it's such an anomaly in many ways, what with the unreleaseds etc, wonder what promo info her label is sending out about it and if they'll mention that

 

Agreed! Or at least by critics who will really spend time with the album and try to understand it before phoning in a half-assed review. Lana contains multitudes and cannot be grasped in one or two listens 

 

I just wish Stereogum didn't ruin a decent review by calling her pandemic background music to charge your phone to, and by making the headline "a soundtrack for another slog." Both of those are a lot more negative than the review reads and I can't imagine she'll like those descriptions 

 

Anyways, I know reviews don't really matter but here we gooo! 

[Yosemite 23,786]

1 minute ago, yourolllikethunder said:

After reading this first review, I’m starting to believe my own prediction more. I would love to be wrong this and see Pitchfork come out of the woodwork w/ an 8+  We will see…

They'll definitely give it 7-point-something, yeah

[SalvaWHORE 34,006]

Ajayii & the critics will probably hate this album but imma stand my ground and love it to the core. This album is THAT MOMENT of her career.

[prettywhenimhigh 49,329]

3 minutes ago, yourolllikethunder said:

After reading this first review, I’m starting to believe my own prediction more. I would love to be wrong this and see Pitchfork come out of the woodwork w/ an 8+  We will see…

 

you seem pretty much on point here

[Glitter Boy 16,558]

Just now, Whore of Tropico said:

Ajayii & the critics will probably hate this album but i will still stand my ground and love it to the core.

If AJayII does not love this album I'm unstanning her  

Though I sense she won't be fond of the second half so

[Yosemite 23,786]

4 minutes ago, Niko Dealergo said:

That review is…..something. 
 

there’s so many backhanded compliments and straight factually incorrect things sprinkled through. I was hoping the album was gonna be a success with critics but now it’s seeming like maybe it won’t be. 
 

At least they didn’t mention any of her controversies 

Well, they titled it premature evaluation, so I'm guessing they'll review it again, either tomorrow/on Friday

[iphone11 1,171]

I think Ajayll will LOVE this album. 

[Dark Angel 202,203]

i'm pretty sure ajay enjoys everything she releases, i don't think blue banisters will be the exception  

 

imagine her reaction to blue banisters, arcadia, & wildflower wildfire  

[Honeyyoung 17,096]

WHAT THE FUCK. november 12th??

[Pico Ocean Boulevard 41,091]

The BB music video is so cute & Lana looks STUNNING BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS 

HER RIDING A FUCKING TRACTOR..ICONIC 

 

The stereogum review is trash though