LanaBoards Next Top Model (SEASON 2 CASTING on pg. 33)

[shadesofblue 14,653]

33 minutes ago, ultrabanisters said:

just tried your 'cookies' (sugar and food dye) & it gave me stomach problems... fraudga you should be disqualified 

1 hour ago, southbeachswing said:

  Reveal hidden contents

(After overhearing Gaga's confessional):

 

Lady Gaga has a LOT of audacity telling me to shut up and calling me an old woman! I do apologize, but I meant what I said about her outfit in an honest way.  The pink was too harsh on the eyes.  If you can't take that, then do you really have what it takes to become the next lanaboards top model? 

 

And I just have to get this off my chest, but your Chromatica collab with Oreos tasted horrible.  You should get in the studio again and give your fans what they want! Leave me alone!

 

 

Spoiler

I can’t believe no one likes my 3.9 star artificially green dyed crème filled cookies!!! They all must have terrible taste or they’re trying to sabotage me. Those “stomach” problems seem to be a you thing honey, my sugar filled cookies could never!

the reviews are amazing as you can see, so what if they’re a bit too sweet. who doesn’t love a cookie that “tastes a little like meat”? 

It matches my past outfit
Obviously I ate not just the cookies,  but also my look 

 

[ultrabanisters 44,558]

24 minutes ago, jimmyjimmycocoapuff said:

  Hide contents

 

 

u guys saw that??? well, i guess there's no point denying it. i'm in it to win it, and sometimes to win, you need to be a bit of a slut  @Lindsay Lohan same time tonight?

 

 

the insider trading... this has to go against all kinds of laws...

 

@FCC @FoxNews @TheEllenshow INVESTIGATE 

[ultrabanisters 44,558]

6 minutes ago, shadesofblue said:

 

  Hide contents

I can’t believe no one likes my 3.9 star artificially green dyed crème filled cookies!!! They all must have terrible taste or they’re trying to sabotage me. Those “stomach” problems seem to be a you thing honey, my sugar filled cookies could never!

the reviews are amazing as you can see, so what if they’re a bit too sweet. who doesn’t love a cookie that “tastes a little like meat”? 

It matches my past outfit
Obviously I ate not just the cookies,  but also my look 

 

just one google search brings up countless horror stories about your so called 'oreos'... 

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/LadyGaga/s/SoE1f3WaNM

 

it makes me think, is it a ploy to distract from your terrible looks so you can try and claw your way to the crown?

[Rorman Nockwell 56,485]

I am poised and ready to review our last two contestants and then Lindsay will post our scathing reviews

[bunoner 5,725]

covers RuPaul with my cloud of purple sludge

[shadesofblue 14,653]

9 minutes ago, ultrabanisters said:

just one google search brings up countless horror stories about your so called 'oreos'... 

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/LadyGaga/s/SoE1f3WaNM

 

it makes me think, is it a ploy to distract from your terrible looks so you can try and claw your way to the crown?

I would never intentionally give other contestants food poisoning!!! 

Spoiler

@ other MODS!! scat attack chromatica edition by your fellow mod miss mitski 

 

[TheBoss 13,476]

omg sorry guys, I guess Ms Tinashe got a little 2ON yesterday (literally having the worst hangover ever, gin tonic)

 

we don't really remember how the format of the show was because when i was little i used to watch it but i stopped because my grandpa said it was for f-words and i guess i got scared and never watched it again lol, ANYWAYS here's Tinashe serving sattelite camp couture realness! Floating somewhere off in spacetime!

 

[TheBoss 13,476]

Not me submitting before Queen B lmao

 

[Lindsay Lohan 10,152]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Welcome back models. 

I hope your entrance into the LNTM house was not too hectic for all of you.

 

You were asked to do a photoshoot and submit a photo that best represents the theme  of "CAMP COUTURE"

 

Me and @Rorman Nockwell reviewed all of your submissions 

Some of you presented us with grace, some didn't get it, and some people just looked a plain old mess.

 

I have 16 beautiful women standing before me, but only 14 photos in my hand. 

That's right, two of you will be leaving us today.

 

These 14 photos will represent the 14 of you that are still in the running to become LanaBoards Next Top Model.

Let's begin with the critiques.

--------

Miranda Cosgrove ( @lmdr )

You are this week's winner! You have gained the ability to sabotage one of the girls.

Please DM me who you would like to sabotage. 

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

 

Lindsay's Critique:

Miranda, you came into this competition as the underdog but made sure to let everyone know, this is not just a competition but your life's dream.

The cheetah print, ruffled skirt, and autumn leaves are something one only sees in a nightmare, but you my darling made it a dream! Excellent work

 

Rorman's Critique:

As a southern hemispherian, I am very appreciative of the autumnal theming of your entry. I feel like this was a deliberate attempt to sway my vote and it worked

(and that skirt/tights combo helped, too). 

 

------------

 

Kate Bush

You are this weeks runner-up!

This means you are protected from sabotage.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

 

Lindsay's Critique:

I am blown away by your efforts in todays competition. You took camp, lit it on fire, harassed it, assaulted it, stabbed it, and then wore it.

This is is exactly what it takes to be LanaBoards' next top model. That gator would make a great bag.

 

Rorman's Critique:

I feel like you are a strong contender. I love the way the grimy backdrop really brings out the dark scales on the alligator.

It just really, really suits its scaletone and accentuates its eyes. The gaping jaw and the way it's positioned its torso is also very pleasing to the eye.
Kate looks okay, too. 

 

------------

 

Naomi Campbell ( @DeadSeaOfMercury )

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

 

Lindsay's Critique:

Naomi, you have grace and elegance in this photo presented. Posing with The Teletubbies is not something everyone can do, but you appeared to pull it off.

The photo itself is not great and I wish you were not hiding your face with your sunglasses... and really? Beige? but great work.

 

Rorman's Critique:

Toys are always camp. Teletubbies are camper. But can Naomi be considered campest in beige? I'm not so sure.

You do look to be one of our taller contestants, though. Being tall is important in modelling, but so is the company you keep.

Remember that the next time you decide to hang out with someone called "Dipsy".

 

------------

 

Anya-Taylor Joy ( @jimmyjimmycocoapuff )

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

 

Lindsay's Critique:

Anya, inshallah. This photograph is beautiful. You almost look like angel. Keep up the great work.

 

Rorman's Critique:

It's passable, but I'd like to see you do more. Perhaps go see a tailor. Anya + Taylor = Joy. 

You've got sun, sand and a big net over yourself to deter sandflies. All of the other contestants overlooked this and it's their own fault if they acquire parasitic infections. This might actually be a strategic so you can win when everyone else gets Ebola. Clever.

 

------------

 

RuPaul ( @Paris Hilton )

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

 

Lindsay's Critique:

The message you put out into the world about fracking is brilliant and uplifting for environmental activists everywhere.

Greta has actually been seen on the property after comments were made about Kate Bush's Alligator.

This colour is so beautiful on you and compliments the sands of the desert so passionately. I'm excited to see what you bring forward. Great work.

 

Rorman's Critique:

This is an Olympic year, and you brought the gold hues. Tassle tits makes you an undisputed frontrunner. Everyone else is going country, so why not you?

The other girls will be jealous, but you're used to that and I trust you know how to deal with any disputes in the model house.

 

------------

 

Kate Moss ( @southbeachswing )

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

 

Lindsay's Critique:

When I look at you, the Lust For Life original concept plays in my head. Though your look is quite old-maiden like.

You look wonderful and understood the concept. I feel like a spell has been put on me because I can't look away! Great work.

 

Rorman's Critique:

It's giving Wicked Witch of the West x Audrey Hepburn and I like how the tulle about the head could be interpreted as smoke from the cigarette.

Witchy - but is it camp? Would I question Miss Moss? No, because she'd stub that cigarette out on my cheek. 

 

------------

 

Lizzy Grant ( @Surf Noir)

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

 

Lindsay's Critique:

This photo is almost as low quality as your outfit. Though it is not quite couture, it is camp and looking at this photo makes want to smile.

You're a beautiful girl, you need a more eloquent look to show that. Good work.

 

Rorman's Critique:

It'd giving Japanese robot cafe waitress, which is pretty camp. Just a reminder not to go posting any BTS info on your MySpace, or you might be disqualified. 
That's one of only two reasons we disqualify people. The other reason is if someone uses two different personas to enter the competition twice.

That would be very sneaky. I don't think anyone's doing that, though, especially not Lizzy Grant.

 

------------

 

Lana Del Rey ( @Daytona Beach Sparkler)

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

 

Lindsay's Critique:

Absolutely stunning composition and face. This outfit was created by a madman with no sense of the world.

Truly camp in it's truest form! This was your best photo of the day. Great work.

 

Rorman's Critique:

The photoshoot with the giant cake was the campest thing you ever did and you're lucky I'm not @Elle or I'd give you warning points for not picking it.

I've heard that you only put effort into artistic endeavours sporadically, but this one requires your full attention.

Just keep that $400k watch out of my sight and you'll do fine. 

 

------------

 

Tinashe ( @TheBoss )

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

 

Lindsay's Critique:

Your diamond studded satellite outfit caused a power outage throughout 3 different states.

This appears to be less camp, and more avant-garde but the line is so fine that it's still a beautiful photo. However, you were late to your photoshoot.

Punctuality is key for being a top model.

 

Rorman's Critique:

It's giving desconstructed crystal and velvet lampshade with  a splash of silver circuitry on the fingers.

This shot has it all: the hair, the pose, the outfit, the backdrop. Technological theming is very smart because Elon Musk.

I'm a fan (of your entry, not of Elon). The other girls will want to watch out for you, and not only because of those sharp claws.

 

------------

 

Lady Gaga ( @shadesofblue)

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

 

Lindsay's Critique:

Though I appreciate your efforts, I found this photograph... distracting. I can't seem to point what i'm supposed to be looking at.

But the gown is beautiful and you fill it with elegance. Good work.

 

Rorman's Critique:

Ah, here is the hot pink I've been waiting for. It's big, it's bold, and it's beautiful. I don't need to say much more. Stefani, you do not suck.

 

------------

 

Charli XCX ( @bunoner)

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

 

Lindsay's Critique:

Your tribute to the Grimace Shake has not gone unnoticed. You look absolutely stunning lying in that purple sludge.

Some people have came to me saying your behavior on set was concerning, calling you a “diva.” Remember people are always watching.

 

Rorman's Critique:

You look fine, but I'm not sold on the the background. Is that paint? Play-dough? Wax?

It's as if you took the purple teletubby from Naomi's shoot and put them through a blender. You probably did, and we don't condone violence on this show unless it adds to our ratings.

 

------------

 

Jane Fonda ( @Say Yes to Heaven)

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

 

Lindsay's Critique:

You have proven to us today that elderly women can IN FACT hold multiple things in their hands at once, and effortlessly!

Your crop-top kimono and black skirt left me... confused. But I see great potential in your future. Love, Lindsay.

 

Rorman's Critique:

Jane, Jane, Jane. I was expecting hot pink lycra and instead, got this.

I understand that your outfit is a collection of references and that's very ambitious, but you look a little confused.

I can't possibly say anything bad about a jacket with sleeves longer than its sides, though. 

 

------------

 

Mitski ( @ultrabanisters)

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

 

Lindsay's Critique:

Mitski, or should I say lettuce? This look can easily be recognized as a disaster, and in the eyes of some it is.

However, your intentions were purely camp and your stylist had nothing but great things to say about your work that afternoon.

 

Rorman's Critique:

The literal "camp" theming is very environmentally-conscious. In a time of rapid climate change, I just think that world peace.

However, you look a bit prickly and I should hope that that's not a reflection of your demeanor. 

 

------------

 

Beyonce ( @keps2013)

Megan Thee Stallion ( @DemonMic2003)

Britney Spears ( @bia)

You are the bottom three of this week. Two of you will be eliminated from the running.

 

Spoiler

 

Beyonce:

You did not submit a photo this week due to camp being against your religion. We understand your stance.

----

Megan Thee Stallion:

 

Lindsay's Critique:

You have completely missed the mark. The lighting is beautiful and your hair is chic, but this is not camp, nor couture.

In fact you kind of just look like the hooker-version of Jasmine from Disney's Aladdin. 

You were accused of spitting on other girls in the house, violence is not accepted here.

 

Rorman's Critique:

It seems like a missed opportunity to not have an actual stallion in the shot, which would've increased the campness exponentially. A unicorn would've been even better. 
Given the lack of any kind of equine entity, I'm detecting a distinct lack of effort that I hope doesn't carry through to the rest of the competition IF Lindsay lets you through. Step it up, Megan!

----

Britney Spears

 

Lindsay's Critique:

You are a legend and you are the moment. But this photograph left me how the colours of this photograph look...sad.

You have strong potential but this was not your best photo. I was expecting more, but this came off quite generic and basic for me. 

 

Rorman's Critique:

As shown in Kate B's entry, the inclusion of a reptile really ups the ante.

Your arch nemesis Xtina sang about a genie in a bottle, and you decided to dress as a genie out of the bottle here, maybe you should go back in?

----

----

The two models going home are...

 

Spoiler

Beyonce & Megan Thee Stallion.

 

Please say your goodbyes and leave the premises. 

 

 

 

Stay tuned for the next challenge...

Make sure to evaluate your critiques to avoid the same mistakes in the future.

 

Goodnight ladies.

 

Also, feel free to look at everyone's submitted photos on Page 1 of this thread!

 

[DeadSeaOfMercury 22,846]

[Lana Del Dufrene 10,070]

Wow. Well, fuck you too then 

 

Edit- lunges at Lindsey and rips out her red hair

[bunoner 5,725]

P̵̞̀u̸͔̍r̵̪͂p̵̲̀ḽ̶̃e̵̝͒ ̶͔̅s̷͍͒ḽ̶͋ų̵͘d̶͎̾ġ̵̲e̴̪̕

 

 

[Lindsay Lohan 10,152]

Spoiler

While concluding the week, Megan Thee Stallion LUNGED at me. I'm still shocked.

But this is the modeling world for you... sometimes people get cut... then try to attack you.

 

 

[ultrabanisters 44,558]

i’m glad the judges saw my camp look and natural demeanour this week - i will not let you down in next weeks challenge either

[Dark Angel 200,742]

Spoiler

Confessional:

Wowie! I'm So Glad I'm Still In The Competition, I Felt Like My Lewk Wasn't Very Impressive Since I'm On A Tight Budget, But I Promise To Step Up My Game And Really Give It My All, And I Promise Not To Spill Any Exclusive Tea On MySpace, I Just Couldn't Help But To Talk About The Vending Machines That Had Cans Of Diet Mountain Dew, I Wanted To Impress Arthur Lynn, Maybe I'll Write A Song About Him And Call It Greenwich, Hmm... Perhaps If I Go Above And Beyond And Call It Platinum Greenwich And Upload It To MySpace, My Forever Love Will Return To Me

 

[ultrabanisters 44,558]

confessional

 

Spoiler

 

i’m really happy the judges enjoyed my all natural jungle inspired look. i took a risk and it paid off 

 

i am so relieved to have made it through to next weeks challenge. i agree with the judges, and i think megan and beyonce were the right choices to chop. beyonce was too lazy to submit a look and megan was lazy and uninspired 

 

megan also spat at me during this weeks challenge so karma is in full swing

 

i hope next weeks challenge includes an alien aspect of some sort...

 

[Rorman Nockwell 56,485]

22 minutes ago, DemonMic2003 said:

Wow. Well, fuck you too then

Look, Megan. You're a beautiful girl. Take this as an opportunity for personal growth and to pursue your other passions

Kiss kiss!

[bunoner 5,725]

Spoiler

Being in this house... it changes you. I'm happy one of the judges understood my vision, but I sense a darkness in the souls of my fellow contestants. Wherever I go, I can feel them staring and scheming against me, but I have to rise above. See you soon, angels.

 

[shadesofblue 14,653]

Thank you for letting me stay another week judges 
Ready to slay next weeks challenge 

confessional:

Spoiler

i thought my look was the epitome of camp. The chaotic background added to the campiness, but at least I’m staying in for another week  I appreciate the constructive criticism though
 

I will miss Beyoncé and megan, you both had great looks as well (other than Beyoncé forgetting to submit but I’m sure she would’ve ate). I loved lizzy’s trailer park aesthetic too she did an amazing job. Although mitski and Kate came for my throat, I thought their looks were very on theme. Everyone was looking fabulous so I’m excited to see next weeks looks.

Congrats to the winner <3!
You can cuss a little, just don’t sabotage me or else …..

 

[Rorman Nockwell 56,485]

5 minutes ago, bunoner said:

P̵̞̀u̸͔̍r̵̪͂p̵̲̀ḽ̶̃e̵̝͒ ̶͔̅s̷͍͒ḽ̶͋ų̵͘d̶͎̾ġ̵̲e̴̪̕

Do not question the judge 'bout the sludge.

Now go practice your strut.