LanaBoards Next Top Model (Finale Today!)

[jimmyjimmycocoapuff 2,936]

We interrupt this broadcast to visit Rejects Resort, where the losing models can cry over their losses and drink expensive champagne!

 

Here they are enjoying themselves in the hot tub!

Spoiler

 

 

Wait, what's Taylor Swift doing there? I guess she's Fresh Out The Slammer 

 

Anyway, the ladies are patiently awaiting their next loser... and judging by Taylor's face, it looks like someone just peed in the hot tub. 

 

 

[Daytona Beach Sparkler 3,142]

Jane was hating on some of y'all so much she forgot to submit 

[TheBoss 13,413]

Some of this girls are sooo extra, it's not about what you wear it's how you wear it, sometimes less is more and I bet the judges will agree, but great gowns, beautiful gowns

 

  

[DemonMic2003 3,933]

48 minutes ago, jimmyjimmycocoapuff said:

We interrupt this broadcast to visit Rejects Resort, where the losing models can cry over their losses and drink expensive champagne!

 

Here they are enjoying themselves in the hot tub!

  Hide contents

 

 

Wait, what's Taylor Swift doing there? I guess she's Fresh Out The Slammer 

 

Anyway, the ladies are patiently awaiting their next loser... and judging by Taylor's face, it looks like someone just peed in the hot tub. 

 

 

CONFESSIONAL

Spoiler

Megan thee stallion is the queen of rap.

 

[DeadSeaOfMercury 20,092]

2 hours ago, jimmyjimmycocoapuff said:

LMAO did Jane forget to submit  I guess the dementia is setting in  

[Lindsay Lohan 7,702]

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Welcome back models. 

This has been a chaotic week full of shade and break-ins.

 

Who else was scared? I was really really scared.

 

You were asked to do a photoshoot and submit a photo that best represents the theme  of "AQUATIC CHIC"

 

After hours of deliberation, me and @Unknown are ready to reveal the results.

 

Very happy to say many of you listened to the critiques and greatly improved your overall look.

 

I have 14 beautiful women standing before me, but only 12 photos in my hand. 

Two of you will be leaving us today.

 

These 12 photos will represent the 12 of you that are still in the running to become LanaBoards Next Top Model.

Let's begin with the critiques.

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RuPaul ( @Paris Hilton)

You are this week's winner! You have gained the ability to sabotage one of the girls.

Please DM me who you would like to sabotage. 

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

Lindsay's Critique:

Absolutely flawless! This is what a top model looks like. This looks like it could be the cover of vogue! Perfect submission.

 

Unknown's Critique:

Now THIS is giving LanaBoards next top model. Love this. Maybe a little TOO many accessories but i can move past it. 

 

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Naomi Campbell ( @DeadSeaOfMercury)

You are this weeks runner-up!

This means you are protected from sabotage.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

Lindsay's Critique:

Naomi, you look like the most eloquent bdsm mermaid I’ve ever seen! This is a stunning photo and exactly what a top model should look like.

 

Unknown's Critique:

Congratulations this is my fav look of this challenge. Love everything about this.

From your hair, to you face to your attitude. Maybe wish it was in colour but ill forgive.

 

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Kate Bush ( @sparklertrailerheaven)

You are still in the running.

Spoiler

Lindsay's Critique:

This photo is stunning and quite avant garde. Though it’s not giving me high fashion for some reason.

You appear to think your hand is more interesting than the camera… but a great photo nonetheless.

 

Unknown's Critique:

I actually love this. Its very editorial. One of my favourites of this challenge. No notes. 

 

 

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Anya-Taylor Joy ( @jimmyjimmycocoapuff )

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

Lindsay's Critique:

I’m obsessed with this! You look amazing and so does that shark (is it real?!?) my only issue with this photo is that it looks like it was taken off a screen…

 

Unknown's Critique:

You are serving MUG but unfortunately I hate everything else about this image. Its giving Radical Optimism on a budget. 

 

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Mitski ( @ultrabanisters)

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

Lindsay's Critique:

Mitski, you were sabotaged by one of the other girls and were only to submit in B&W. Your photo is not quite eye-catching but you truly made do!

 

Unknown's Critique:

Speaking of radical optimism on a budget…. I love the scenery and the concept behind this pic, but the black and white does it no favors.

Also feel like ur outfit is a little basic!

 

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Kate Moss ( @southbeachswing )

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

Lindsay's Critique:

I’m kind of bored with this photograph honestly. Though the goggles were a nice touch and may have saved this.

I would like to see something more interesting in the future. More ocean and less swamp.

 

Unknown's Critique:

LOVE the cigarette and serving mug in the ocean. That's cunt. But everything else about this photo is.. bleh. 

 

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Tinashe ( @TheBoss )

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

Lindsay's Critique:

the posing of this photo is quite… awkward. But overall a great choice, the colours compliment each other very well. Aesthetically pleasing!

 

Unknown's Critique:

very cool pose and love the colors of your pic. Its definitely giving editorial and model! The only thing I dont love is your outfit - its a little basic!

 

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Lana Del Rey ( @Daytona Beach Sparkler)

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

Lindsay's Critique:

Your 1950s themed photoshoot worked in your favour because this is so beautiful, and so you.

Though I don’t think this is the best photo you could have chosen from your shoot, it’s still great!

 

Unknown's Critique:

 Hmmm. Loving your mug and the location of this pic, but not feeling your bathing suit or earrings. Maybe use a better stylist next time!

 

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Charli XCX ( @bunoner)

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

Lindsay's Critique:

Charli baby, I’m crazy for this photo! But some of the other girls have accused you of using a green screen… is there any truth to this?

I'd like to see you go for something more.. natural next time. Let's see some versatility. 

 

Unknown's Critique:

Hun, is this a real pic or a screenshot from the sims? Too much editing my dear. Whoever retouched this is giving Nicole Nodland a run for her money. 

 

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Britney Spears ( @bia)

You are still in the running.

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

Lindsay's Critique:

Britney, you listened to your last critique and it came to clutch! Vibrant, strange, and intriguing!

A top mode evolves though their career and you seem to be doing that.

 

Unknown's Critique:

It's cute, it's giving wholesome family pool day. You really show women can have it ALL and don't have to choose.

The looks, the kids, the mermaid tail. 

 

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Lizzy Grant ( @Surf Noir)

Miranda Cosgrove ( @lmdr)

Jane Fonda ( @Say Yes to Heaven)

Lady Gaga ( @shadesofblue)

 

You are the bottom four of this week. Two of you will be eliminated from the running.

Spoiler

Jane Fonda

 

You didn't submit a photo this week, you left a note saying you were looking for a hill to climb up to see what "all the rage was all about"

Your family has contacted us and wants you to know they want you home.

 

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Lizzy Grant

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

Lindsay's Critique:

 I’m not a fan of your chosen photo. You look quite stiff, and your eyes are closed. This is not giving top model to me, but more top plank. Disappointed.

 

Unknown's Critique:

Lindsay, how could you say that? I loveee this pic and look. Your blonde hair and blue dress really work for me.

But your body looks a little bit stiff and awkward, I will have to agree with that.

 

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Miranda Cosgrove

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

Lindsay's Critique:

Very wholesome photo. You took top model and gave it a whole PG-13 rating!

Though you may be too commercial, I'm waiting for you to show us some edge.

 

Unknown's Critique:

What is this? An old pic from the family photo album? There is nothing editorial or model about this.

I know you can give us so much more! You cant serve Nickelodeon forever. 

 

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Lady Gaga

 

Critiques:

Spoiler

Lindsay's Critique:

It's giving water bender. Overall this photo is quite dull to me, but I am intrigued by your dedication to heels by wearing them in the sand.

The black line on the side of your head is extremely bothersome to me, who was the creative director?

 

Unknown's Critique:

I like the beachy vibe, your heels and the blue fabric which really gives that aquatic look - but not feeling your hair at all or the grey fabric underneath. 

 

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The two models going home are...

Spoiler

Jane Fonda & Miranda Cosgrove

 

Jane you didn't submit a photo. Deadlines are crucial in the fashion world.

 

Miranda, you came to me and privately announced you have been diagnosed with Ligma.

I wish you the best of luck on your medical journey.

 

Please say your goodbyes and leave the premises. 

 

 

 

 

Stay tuned for the next challenge...

Make sure to evaluate your critiques to avoid the same mistakes in the future.

 

Goodnight ladies.

 

Also, feel free to look at everyone's submitted photos on Page 1 of this thread!

[twinkletoes7 5,766]

naur jane 

[Say Yes to Heaven 27,083]

My family is looking for me? I  felt this love. i felt the need for me back home. Goodbye girls…. find the peace you desire and  love you crave except for Mirdana cosgrove despicable young lady with a ‘tude . 

My aquatic look asked of me “dont make waves, makes WAVES BYE.” 

Shout out to the great RuPaul , Ms grant and Mitski with the leaves. 
Love, THE Jane Fonda. 

[ultrabanisters 38,420]

confessional

 

Spoiler

 

i was so nervous for todays results show. i was sabotaged by miranda, but karma came to bite, and now she is on the bus home. swings and roundabouts

 

im glad the judges saw my vision, and despite being black and white, the look i had got me full technicolor feedback

 

i think @Paris Hilton rupauls look was indeed the best of the night, and she really deserved to win this challenge

 

[shadesofblue 7,299]

Confessional

Spoiler

Thank you judges for keeping me safe for another round of LB Next Top model!

 I can’t believe I was in the bottom 4 

 I thought my white heels and dress would be a hit! I guess I should have taken that picture earlier before I got drunk, smoked 9 joints, sniffed a whole bottle of poppers and did moll- I mean all the clubs and bars that night… For next weeks challenge I’ll make sure to get plenty of rest! 

 Jane and Miranda will be missed. I guess Jane was too focused on that intruder to get her look together maybe she is getting a bit old.  Congrats to this weeks winner Rupaul, I loved going on your show! You really gagged us all this week. 

Next week I’ll slay the challenge 

 

[jimmyjimmycocoapuff 2,936]

Spoiler

 

Wow. I was not expecting to be dragged like that. To be compared to Radical Optimism- the biggest flop of the year... it's even worse than going home. I need to start stepping up my game. I also can't believe Lizzy was almost sent home? Did we all see the same image? I thought it served cunt. I guess not everyone gets the iconicness of Elizabeth Woolridge Grant. I'm going all in next round. I can't keep slipping through the cracks like this. The winner totally deserved, Rupaul will never not slay!

 

[Surf Noir 190,711]

Spoiler

Confessional:

Whew, I'm So Glad I Didn't Get Eliminated, I Still Have So Much Left To Offer, However, I'm Not Very Happy About The Fact That I Was In The Bottom 4 And The Judges Weren't Too Excited About My Submitted Photo, I Thought I Looked Very Breezy And Carefree In My Photo, But Perhaps I Should've Submitted One Where I'm Looking At The Camera And Not One Where I'm Feeling The Warm, Summer Breeze Against My Face That Isn't Quite Sunburned Yet But Most Certainly Will Be Later, I Promise To Learn From My Wrongdoings And Improve, I'm Just Hoping Next Week's Theme Won't Be Anything I Can't Do, Perhaps I'll Be Lucky And It'll Be Summertime Serve Or Trailer Trash Glam

 

[jimmyjimmycocoapuff 2,936]

And now we return to Rejects Resort where our two losers have joined the club.

The girls are somewhat getting along, although there is some tension between Megan and Jane (Jane keeps hitting her with her violent aerobics)

They are now about to get vampire facials from Kim Kardashian! Taylor feels a bit uncomfortable, as her one-sided beef with Kim continues to progress. And yes, she is wearing an ankle bracelet (required by law). Can't wait to see who will end up here next round

[southbeachswing 2,506]

Spoiler

I was nervous as well for today's results, but I am thankful for my placement! I do agree with the judges though, my look could have been stronger.   Next round I'll be giving it my all.

 

And to my dearest Ru, I do hope that when you are picking a contestant to sabotage, you will remember the fond memories we once shared.  I miss you friend.. @Paris Hilton

 

[Rorman Nockwell 54,445]

Not Miranda going from the top to the bottom 

Whiplash

[ultrabanisters 38,420]

13 minutes ago, Rorman Nockwell said:

Not Miranda going from the top to the bottom 

Whiplash

karma for trying to sabotage me

[DeadSeaOfMercury 20,092]

[stupidapartmentcomplex 10,195]

qftc: Sometimes I suspect Lanaboards next top model might be more scripted than not. How do they call it reality TV when it's not even reality? In any case, I'm feeling quite hydrated after this aquatic episode. I am certain the shocking intrusion of a certain individual this week has nothing to do with producer interference, at least. I'm glad no one got hurt, as I heard a rumor that the Swift woman can be quite deranged! At least the girls know to stay vigilant now. Besides that, RuPaul was destined to take the win this week. Naomi ate it up as usual. Excited to tune in next week!

stupidapartmentcomplex

Sent from Mail for Windows 10 for lana boards

[Rorman Nockwell 54,445]

Spoiler

When I was a guest judge I needed to be impartial, but now that I'm not, I just wanna say that @bunoner Charli is a butt. In the previous round, she tried to ask me to help her pick her photo and give her pointers when the other girls were on the stoop with the neighbourhood kids. It'd be a shame if someone put depilatory cream in her shampoo ...

 

[bunoner 5,604]

Spoiler

I just can't believe the lengths some people will go to to try to sabotage someone like me. Don't trust anything you read, it's all lies.

 

To the judges, thank you for enjoying my submission. However, I entered the house to try and push the envelope and I will continue to do so, regardless of what people say about me or the "green screens" people hypothesize I make use of. Remember, the theme was aquatic chic, not photo at the beach.

 

RuPaul and I will be discussing this and having a kiki, maybe even an ijbol...